standing strong,
everyone believes it will hold,
maybe they're wrong,
for i hear a different story told.

speaking calm and clear,
until it's all it can take,
i begin to fear,
waiting for the break.

tears on cheeks,
rings on fingers,
happiness peeks,
but never lingers.

smiles leave,
lies are told,
i can barely breathe,
as stories unfold.

i'm not surprised,
as the truth spills,
but all the lies,
they really ****.

don't pretend to love,
we don't want your jokes,
you are no pair of doves,
very different folk.

for the worst, you stay,
i'm telling you, just go,
although it's a new day,
don't come back tomorrow.

i need to be able speak.
without the look,
without the judgement,
without the eye roll,
without the blank stare.
but i also need to be able to listen.
without the look,
without the judgement,
without the eye roll,
without the blank stare.

before i gave too much,
i let it pour out of me like a waterfall,
letting them soak it up.
only for them to set it back at my feet in a bucket,
full of my hopeful love.
now,
nervous and waiting,
a stream begins to flow from me,
but i'm having a hard time accepting your waterfall,
for mine is just a mere trickle.

every love song that sounds,
every wedding bell that rings,
every break up,
every tear.
brings us all back.
we sit in silence at dinner,
for i accidentally reminded us all seconds ago with a single word.
she smiles, putting on that face,
for that little boy seated across from me.
we look at him hopefully,
"i gotta ***"
he says,
ungracefully breaking the delicate silence.
he leaves us biting our cheeks,
smiling small,
thinking big.
it's right here,
growing stale once again,
filling up the air.
causing us to inhale the secrets,
we've tried to let go of.
they're clogging up our systems,
drowning us in ourselves,
once again...

he steps out slowly,
squeezing my arm as he goes.
i stand staring into my own eyes,
in the reflection of the glass door as it closes slowly.
warm cheeks,
big grin,
heart pounding,
and happy.

my thoughts swim
in a sea of rhymes,
an ocean full of vocabulary,
puddles full of beautiful language.
it builds and builds.
pictures, stories, memories, hopes, wishes, dreams,
dance in my head for days,
until i can formulate the right string of words,
to put it all together.