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Zoë Dec 2015
this silence is eating me alive,
like i'd do anything just to fill it.
this black, darkness
filled with nothing but empty words.
this darkness,
craves the light of speech.
any words to light it up.
i creep towards the mouth
listening for any sign of stirring inside.
i sigh softly once again,
at the never ending silence,
that pours from the dark, hole in the Earth.
Zoë Dec 2015
i want to live this crazy life
where i love so much that it hurts
but it doesn't have to.
i want to dance
and laugh
and live,
somewhere that isn't here.
i'm shaking inside trying to rip out of this skin.
i want to be a poet,
and an athlete,
and a baker
and silly,
and serious,
and crazy
all in the same me.
i want to laugh so hard that i cry,
on the daily.
i want to cry so hard that i laugh,
only once or twice, though.
i want to live,
and look back knowing that
i was me.
i'm living now,
breathing and being,
but i'm stuck in my skin.
desperately trying to escape,
trying to really live.
Zoë Oct 2015
I hate that you're an *******.
And that you understood.
I shared with you,
The pieces of my life that I was too scared to face on my own.
I filled your soul to the top,
And sometimes you knew more about me than I knew about myself.
It was our little secret, to know eachother how we did.
But your soul, spilled down the drain
And only your stupidity remained.
I hated you for listening.
I hated you for understanding.
I hated you for being there when nobody else was.
You washed all the trust away,
but I only cried once.
Delusional and scared as hell,
I stumbled to my bed,
where you sent messages through my dreams.
You tripped over my strings of stories,
And dropped all my thoughts before your two feet.
You muttered some sort of curse,
And decided that you'd rather make me forget, than tell me you were scared.
The day I found out you were an *******, I cried for a while.
I cried because the one who knew me better than my own self, didn't know anything anymore.
I don't remember how you talked, or the face you made when you were thinking.
I remember what you look like, only from pictures but forget all that you said.
I'd rather forget about you than try to understand.
I hate that you understood me and I hate that you're an *******.
Zoë Oct 2015
i hate it when you talk with her
i love it when you smile
i hate it when you're hurting
but I haven't seen you in while


i hate it when you think you're smart
i love it when you stayed
i hate it when you hurt my heart
and when you went away

i hate it when you pretend to love
i love it when you're happy
i hate it when you smell bad
but it's hate or grossly sappy

i hate that i can't help you
i hate that you're away
i hate that I don't matter
but what I can no longer say,

is that you all are in my heart
because you're surely not
but i still think about you all
sometimes quite a lot
Zoë Sep 2015
it scares me that i'm falling
and that i tell you things
it scares me that you understand
and notice when i'm pulling away
i'm scared to trust you
and scared to be here so soon
you want me to let you in but i can't find that **** key
it's locked deep inside me,
where my memories go
it's going to be tough to find it in those layers of broken times,
but i'm working to find it for you
Zoë Aug 2015
it's not hard to say that breaking a heart,
is easier than having yours broken.
but to rebreak a heart,
over and over,
takes a lot
Zoë Aug 2015
there are moments,
that when life hands you lemons,
you have to hand them back,
because sometimes giving them back,
is much better than enduring their sour sour taste
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