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Zoë Jul 2015
I don't remember how many cars passed,
Or if I saw Orion's belt.
I don't remember the night's smell,
Or what shoes I wore on my feet.
All I remember,
Is how much it hurt.
Tears rolled down my cheeks,
Soaking through my jeans when I neglected to wipe them away.
My sudden disbelief,
Hung in the soggy night air,
Like cigarette smoke.
Reality's hands tightened around my neck,
Choking me with the truth.
At some point
In that dark hazy hour,
My trust slipped through my fingers,
As quickly as a Sunday evening.
Nothing was "to be or not to be"
Between you and me.
For there is no such thing.
I simply tripped on strings of promises,
And sweet words that unraveled my sneaker laces,
only to bleed my trust all over you.
Sore and delusional,
I wrapped my heart up with a bow,
And gave you my love over and over again.
Although I didn't even consider for a moment,
That you would use it
to destroy me.
Zoë Jul 2015
pretending day after day
that your nonexistent words didn't  hurt me
hurt a hell of a lot more
than creating messages
to finally guide you
to an ending
Zoë Jul 2015
yes i've lost your love
and i've lost your feelings
but that's not why tears roll slowly
soaking my pillow
it's so simply and unsimply because i have lost my very best friend
Zoë Jul 2015
he stared in my eyes
and sweared to god he loved me
well bud, looks like somebody is headed to hell
those lies are harsh.
they hurt a whole lot
but ****, look what i've gained
truth
and nothing is more powerful.
i have secrets that you don't want out
so erasing you from my life was easy
my thoughts... not so much
because my dreams run wild
and punches are thrown
sending you crashing to your knees
dignity and all
too bad they are only silly dreams
where i am stronger and more powerful
in this life, i steer clear from your body
in fear of your power
you don't play mind games though,
i do,
you're just too stupid to realize it
so i take your brain
make you feel awful
so then i can feel better
knowing you feel half as bad as i did
hurting you all the way would be cruel,
i can't ruin you
i'm not that evil,
even though i know you are, were and always will be
Zoë Jul 2015
away from home
i can choose my own,
or not.
i work hard for nobody,
but merely myself
with only one thing missing
i'm stuck between
starbucks runs and college dinners
crosby still and nash and independence
motherly love and loneliness
yes freedom is fantastic
independence is incredible
and love is sometimes a lie
but love from a mother
is a constant need
that can't be filled by text messages and short visits
Zoë Jul 2015
how
bullets to the chest
warmth in cheeks
tears stinging eyes
long tight hugs
constant waiting
but crazy in love
Zoë Jul 2015
not
he loves me,
he loves me not,
he loves me,
he loves me not,
all of a sudden out of petals
i realize i wouldn't be performing this act of desperation if i knew he did
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