constant reminders of your existence
makes me want you more
and when i can't be with you
over and over
i depend on my dreams
for first kisses, sunsets and love
they fill the void

all humans, i believe
are like rocks alongside the ocean
beautiful and strong
from a distance
but once you get up close
you see the barnacles that cover the surface,
the ants that crawl in the crevices,
and feel the smoothness,
caused by the ocean constantly crashing against it, over and over
until one day, the mighty boulder
that sits upon this large earth
is nothing but sand
at the bottom of the deep blue sea

I scream
A loud and awful noise
I feel the anger
Starting at my toes
Making it's way up to my fists
That I pound you with
Hitting you with everything I have
Tears falling from my eyes
She screams too
Grabbing my shirt
Almost ripping it from my back
A brilliant red
Falls from your face
And the anger drains from me
Until I feel you have finally payed
You are the only one who knows why I do this
Most I assume shocked by this action
Little do they know the story behind my rage
With my fists stained red
And sweat running down my forehead
I retreat, and look into your eyes
Until I see the amount of pain I have caused you
And hit you once more
Harder than before
Between your swollen eyes
Because that's how much it hurt
How much you hurt

Maybe and possibly
I was completely delusional
Believing in you
Believing you could help me forget the past
Believing you could help me build a future
Just believing you would treat me right
Yes
Definitely delusional
Now, stuck in a sticky web
Of my own heartbreaking thoughts
I wait for you to realize you don't love me
No one can unweave this tangled web that's slowly suffocating me
Killing me
Especially you
You pull it tighter around my neck
Each and every night
Waiting

where the most happiness is supposed to be found
i'm left feeling the deepest sadness
when you want someone so badly
and even though they know that,
you're invisible in their eyes
the feeling where you pour out your heart
and dream of their kiss
only to be forgotten
where you'd do anything to spend a moment laying eyes on them
and they spend every moment finding a way to let you down "easy"
so you won't be hurt
but little do they know
you already are

i dream of this love
because i miss you
reading our old messages
and remembering your grin
and the way you winked
and stared
makes me dream of you more
they fill the space
that you're supposed to fill
the space for sweet words,
hugs and kisses,
holding hands and late nights
i wish you'd fill it yourself
so i'm not stuck dreaming

suddenly angry
i crack
i split
and lose it
i'm not sad
or tired
or broken
just simply mad
outraged
angry