I suddenly know why I loved you
The way you smell when you wake up
And your crooked smile
How you're painfully honest
And a bit awkward at times
Realizing these little things
Scares me that I'm falling again
But I then realize I just miss you
Who we were before "love"
And the time when a crush was a crush
I just wish you didn't still look so broken
I wish I didn't hurt you
You would've saved me from hell I endured in the future
You were right
I didn't see it
With love and pain
In your eyes
We pretend to forget
And remain as friends
But I know we both remember
The difference is I don't want to go back to "loving"
And sadly you may

through unstoppable anger
and hopeless love
i still love you like crazy
i just wish you could see it
and maybe you'd let me go
instead of watching me play this game
that's ruining me

His love like a drug
The more i try to resist
The more and more
I think about it
Long for it
And go out of my way to get it

feelings change so rapidly
that one moment
everything he does kills me
and i choke on my tears
and the next
i am shouting my insane love for him to the world
and sending hearts 'til my fingers bleed

i only matter in my dreams
the way you smile at me
hug me tight
and the way your eyes light up
are only figments of my imagination
the way you tell me stories
hold my hand
and the way you make time to see me
is all a joke
the way you write about me
kiss me
and say you love me and mean it
are all things that my cruel mind makes up to fill the space in my heart, that i have opened for you

i forget about all prior worry
as your eyes scan over me
i look to make them meet with mine
only to witness you turning away
but what scares me
is that in that particular moment
the fact that you ignored my existence didn't even matter
just your presence and being was enough to fulfill my want for your attention
although not given,
two short hugs and a quiet whisper that you love me stays in my mind for hours after you leave
filling a space in my heart
but only partly
which is why i write this
it fills my other parts,
as dreams also do
i fantasize in my head
giving you credit for words you don't say
and kisses you don't give
i feel as if you are miserable
but too **** afraid to say so

the truth
lies among
vacant lands of broken glass
if i enter this barren land
i know i will bleed
but i will also unlock the hidden mystery and be lead across the land  in order to make further decisions in my journey that some call life