although they seem fake,
i hold on to every last one
decoding your every move
trying to make it count
i live off your eyes
your smile
and rare wink
i soak it all up
trying to make it love
as i think harder and harder
reality laughs
oh my you stupid girl. this will never be love. you're just fooling yourself. wake up, of course he does not love you
and in that moment i realize he doesn't
rumors spread around
and i know i am one of the many
to be "loved" by you
you're great at pretending
you know, i might've actually cared there for a while

it all hurts
and i am stabbing my heart with my own words
you have the others
won't that be enough?
you surely don't need me too

light blue stretches in my mind
the houses dark
almost empty looking
the air cold
and my muscles too tight
a slight pain in my heart
and my head full with regret
orange streams back in as i step into the house
the smell of a sweat and stale cheerios fills my nose
a deep red soaks into my brain as I reach the top of the stairs
the dark room and couch all add with
the warm air, and smell of chili powder to sum it up
i will fall asleep again with orange
green text bubbles and repetition of my lock screen
x-small shirt and ***** carpet
leaves me once again with orange
orange, orange, orange
i get discouraged as my days end like this
where is the blue
the brightness that excites me
and shows in my eyes
but all i get, night after night
orange, orange, orange

as my worlds collide
i shake my head
my words jumble
and i find small lies laced
on the curves of the letters
disappointment settles in my stomach
and i feel sick
i change for all these people
why do i even care this much?
the thought tears through my head
taking everything over
i can't even escape my own head

i fixed you
patched you with everything i had
even if that meant pouring out my heart into your hands
you have it now
do you feel better?

i almost become sick as the list grows in my head
oh my god is all i can think
leaning over my bed, i try to turn back time
twirling my hair
jumping up and down
pressing my temples
back, back, back i cry
over and over
i cannot live this anymore
reality laughs
oh you silly, silly girl it laughs
*you can't go back this time

i breath in
and open my eyes
another orange day it'll be
the lines are too straight
the walls too *****
air too hot
surface too cold
all adds up to the orange that crawls beneath my skin
blue finally comes
at the sound of laughter
so rich and full
goldfish and m&m;'s
scattered among the table
hands warm on my knee
i shudder as the orange comes again
the lines too straight
i smell the hot air and the walls are too *****
chair cold as i sit
orange, orange, orange