i get lost in your words
you cover me with blankets of hope
i start to cry, the tears that fall are ones of fright
what is this is just a game?
it won't even matter by the end
so why does it feel like everything now?
i know it's all wrong

i try to imagine you there
knees barely fitting under the desk
hair in a mess of curls
assortment of writing utensils in your right pocket
phone in the other
full smile
shining eyes
but i am then absorbed by reality
and all that is left is an empty desk

this isn't something that has snuck up behind me
it hasn't been in the back of my mind
or hiding in my shadow
instead it all of a sudden just hit me
and it hit me hard
the sudden realization that you were gone
and although you may have teased me
and taken my things
and laughed at my mistakes
i will miss you
i will miss the simplicity of your words
the interesting array of facts
the early morning conversations about life itself
as i say goodbye
and look in your eyes one last time
something tightens in my heart
and i bite my cheek and study you one last time
the way you walk, your head high
your strong body, moving among the crowd
the curl of your hair, crazy and untamed
but in all of it, it is your presence i will miss
i regret not realizing this sooner
and all i have left is the memory of your last head nod in my direction
your dark eyes, and small smile
the last wave of your hand
before you turned and disappeared

it's amazing how one's words can add up
the feeling so great
almost magical.
you reread all of them
over and over
soaking up every last feeling
and finally when i cant stop the smile on my lips
i am left grinning at your words
heart full
mind lost
just happy

As you continue to push on,
You learn about yourself
The people you trust
The things that make you cry
The way you handle a situation
And as you push and push and push
You break
Your wrists become weak
Your hands red and raw
Your scars deep
But through all of it
You find the urge
You don't let your tears fall
You don't let yourself be seen
You find a way to pretend

with his touch i feel as though
nothing could be more perfect
make this much sense
fell this good
but i find just in another's words
i may feel this same way

You've always been so special
The sudden rush in my blood
The warmth to my cheeks
The beat of my heart
I never really knew
But ****, you really are
The mystery of your words
The silence from your lips
The look in your eye
It kills me
And I know you'll forever be special in my heart
No matter what
I've always loved you