The fire burns
What did you think would happen
As snow melts and I see the real earth
Like a mask peeled to show
The face behind
When what you are trying to hide
Is what everyone really sees
What did you expect
This is life
Just a slap in the face
This is love
Just another broken heart
This is a game
What did you expect

Rushing and cascading
To reach the broken promises

Before you discover my untruth

For I as a poet

Have everything to lose

A smile painted on the mirror
And it didn't match her lips
A curve in a fun house
That scorned her hips
A length that most call pretty
But she never flips

****** television
late night stands
what you had for breakfast
perfect hands
the sidewalk that talk
the air you breathe
this nights future
oh what a tease
dumpsters with garbage dreams
****** girls shoes
dance in the club
bring home the blues
glitter in her hair
life in your lungs
but you can't climb a ladder
if I steal the rungs :p

anger is such a waste of time

I'm so fancy you already know
I'm in rehab from Tuesday to Thursday whoa

Maybe our purpose is to find our purpose

Every couple hours I forget how to breathe

I do not need to walk this way again
To feel the same things I have felt for an eon and a half in these last four years
Time will never stop for me, she just drags me along by my hair
I can pull up this feeling, as quickly as one snaps their fingers
Maybe it has never left me, and in this I must be alone
My mind, she belongs to no one, she is stubborn and pays no rent
It is a rare thing to have unbinary thoughts in a binary world
If the standard is yours, then I can have no part
You wish you had hands to hold the wholeness of the world
Yet you have no faith, no trust, in a world that has always held you
I cannot help but wonder if I still linger under your skin, trying to find a way to your head
Since you have never took a leaving of mine

I will not come home to anger
Whiskey
Astral projection
You know better
What are you keeping from
Secrets
Not so sweet

The smoke has cleared
From your magic show
I can hear the music
It sounds like peace
Don't let it play so quiet

I remember reading
About Joan of Arc
A heroine
Burnt at the stake
She knew no hellfire after
I remember reading
Bound to the wooden post
She beheld a crucifix
Before her eyes
I think of this
When I need
To lift my chin up
Eyes to the sky
Not the ground

They the future is bright
But all I see is blurry

I want to know what happens when the curtain lifts
I can stand the suspense so I make a wish

They say the past is behind us
But it seems so fresh to me

I don't understand how some forget so easily
I just want the chance to learn how to be me

I see so many colors
In a world of black in white

I see a land of peace
Though all I do is fight

I fell the wind on my face
But its nothing but broken glass

I thought it wouldn't take long
But all it does is last

Cursed to walk this evil place
Cursed to bear the weight of the world

I'll take your pain and I'll take your sorrow
And I'll carry it for you until tomorrow

I'll brace myself and I'll speak in your tongue
But just remember I am only one

The friend that left me
She never called
Never came back
And I don't think she ever cared

But you always stayed by my side
You kept me alive
Inside my head
I fought a ****** awful war
But you knock like and angel at my door

Closer than a sister
And more useful that breath
If I lost you
I would have no one left

My elven friend
Emerging from the woods
Like a nymph of heaven
You weave a spell of good

Call my name
And I will call yours
I am always here
That's what friends are for

You asked me
If I believed
In love, at first sight
I replied, eyes closed
I do not care much for the beginning
As long as there is love in the end

As I lay in the streams of life
I cannot help but think
In these fluid thoughts I listen
And the water, she tells me such

Patience is a rock
Carried in your hand
You chose for it to be with you
Those who cast the first stone, are fools

Feae she is a breeze
Though she raise the hairs
On the back of your neck
She changes naught in life

Solidarity is such
Whom are you now
And who is with you
Let the stream take me
To fields of fading flowers

the air starts to thicken
and my steps start to quicken
not sure where I am running to
as long as its away from you
the lies that haunt my dark dreams
i am tearing at the seams
the ice sliding down my spine
just another defect in a line
when my skies are no longer clear
my vision is clouded by fear
the tears that evaporate by the sun
the pain you replaced and battle you won
i must lie if only to protect you
i have to I'd die if you saw through
i am a piece of distorted glass
something that wasn't made to last
just one shot and I would be erased
but i always forgive you when I look at your face
the lines on my face and waves in the sea
my feet are running I am ready to flee
long and hard strokes of oars
locking all of my doors
one mark higher than the rest
that still doesn't make you the best
when the test is impossible to fail
i am still standing here empty and frail
the call of the wind falls on deaf ears
all I hear is the sound of my fears
the light at the end of the tunnel is gone
and I realize all this time I was wrong
to late to turn or change my mind
i was you looking and you were all I could find
just enough to get my through
ready to plow ahead but looking back to you

We are poets
All we know
Is cigarettes and regret

We are poets
We know of heartbreak and all her words
The size of each of her veins
Asking to much of a broken heart

We are poets
We slip into the madness
Because it's more comfortable

We are poets
We observe
Saying nothing
Preferring to write our words

We are poets
And each of our lengths of love
Are our most beautiful works

I have galaxies inside my soul

Don't just say sorry
And ignoring me isn't better
Just open your troubled heart
And write me a letter

Won't you open
You muttering mouth
Just say the words
It's okay to get them out

I want to hear
Every single thought
Inside of your mind
We won't get caught

Inside your eyes
I see the stars and the dark
But you just think
The night falls apart

We don't fall or trip
We get dragged to the edge
And as we jump beyond
We kiss the ledge

Never what I expect
Less than my dreams
I don't want a nightmare
But an in between

Just because you are nice
Doesn't mean no trouble
And if you give me one
I'll make it double

It isn't over if we fight
Words aren't the end
It's only over if
You walk away my friend

We are all alone
I'm not at your side
But that doesn't mean
You have to hide

I said I am sorry
That doesn't make it right
But don't you dare
Leave me alone in the night

Someone always dies
On the inside of their eyes
And so they kiss
Their way through the lies

Truth is better than before
A sweeter taste on my lips
But as you touch
The curve of my hips

I spurn your questions
As the giggles burst
Unbidden from my lips
Night are the worst

Let me go I scream
But my heart yearns
For you to hold me close
Swim through my tears

You drive me crazy
In the sweetest way
But I want this to be
A sane and happy day

Everything at once
All the time
Never ever make the choice
To stand in line

Faces in between two hearts
Sometimes it's the faces
That tear us apart
Or maybe the places

I don't really know
I don't really care
Because in the end
The beginnings aren't there

Less that the sky
More than the earth
Sometimes I crawl
Inside my hearth

To feel the warmth
And let it burn
And when it's time
It will be your turn

I handed you my smile
And you loved it then
But now I see
That was all pretend

I am cruel in nature
Your eyes bitter sweet
But I am not a dog
And you my treat

I will beg
Roll over and die
To get the life
Inside your eye

Just break the silence
Chopped in half
Over so soon
I thought it would last

My words are nothing
In your head
Because you don't listen
To what is said

I would rid my world
Of all the support
If you could help me
Bury all my hurt

Dress me in silk
And dowse the fire
Before I catch
And burn any higher

One finger to you lips
And I will still
But you must know
I don't bend to your will

Sometimes before its over
The heat will consume
Every breath
Inside of this room

To fill your lungs
With my own air
And know this world
Is just not fair

Like smoke we dance
At the last midnight
We run to the woods
And hide from the light

I wait in the silence
You so quickly created
I said I am sorry
And my breath is bated

I hide my eyes
Underneath my cloak
But this rope constricts
As if to choke

Just enough left
To fight this battle
I will keep your secrets
As you start to tattle

A lesson given
A lesson learnt
But all my scars
Are done and burnt

Enough to know
You think of me in torment
Even though I thought
You were my god sent

The worst dreams
I ever had
I get them all
From your Dad

He fills my terrors
With evil lies
And my tears
Fill these eyes

I would run to the sky
To find a place
Where no one
Knew my face

Goodbye I kiss
And goodbye I mourn
But each goodbye
Is a Hello in turn

You told me you were an abandoned building
Left rotting in the sun
Elements creeping in
On your walls and foundation
Tearing down your roof and structure
I am not so
Come with me
I will show you myself

In the skeleton of my head
Ceramic figures sit
Silent, sentient
On cobweb shelves
Pictures of you hang on the walls
Nailed into a flesh colored wallpaper
*****, coffee stained carpeting
Leading from the attic of my mind
Down the back of my skull
Vertebrae circular staircases
Winding down and around
Through floors and floors
Of keratin wainscoting
Dusty shelves overcrowded with books and trinkets
Plastic dinosaurs and matchbox cars
A room full of doll houses
Plastic mommies and daddies
Driving four seater lithium battery powered doll cars
Cooking over two burner stoves with imitation heat
Playing pretend, I know this game best

Rooms with filing cabinets stacked up to the ceiling
When you pull out the drawers
Files and paperwork going back and back and back
Blue crayon bills of sale
Newspapers and emails color coded for different emotional reactions
Red folders with locks, chains, and warning signs
CAUTION FLAMABLE

Rooms empty of windows
***** of string for dust bunny cats
Baby teeth still tethered to the end
Strung between doorknobs and skeletons
The last flight of stairs
Leads straight down to a flooded basement
Salt water filling up cracks in the concrete
Bulkhead door latched shut
A femur stuck between the handles
You'd have to break a bone to escape

You follow your nose down passages
With markings saying 'connect here'
Finding comfort
In the smell of sage burning in between hip bones
Incense rising through chimney stacked ribs
Puffing out through a nasal passage

A few levels above
Curtains and blinds piled on top of each other
Trying to block out light
Pouring in through two blue tinted windows
Hollowed out, stained glass eyes

Mute little birds fly around in a tiny menagerie
Tiny parchment paper scrolls attached to their ankles
House arrest thoughts
Sometimes little rivers over flow
Down a façade of brick walls into little wells
To dry to hold wishes

In the right wing
Traveling down the arm
Little passage ways with doors
Swinging open and shut
Little electric trains blowing stops and whistles
Running around and around
Five little engines
Puffing out coal and smoke
Until they hole themselves up
In tunnels at night

In the left wing
Plates and dishes smashed on the floor
Ceramic shards rearrange themselves
Into mosaics and pictographs
Sliding around on metal tiles
Until they grind themselves into a fine powder
Slipping though the floor
Little skin cells flaking off the siding

Dry scratching noises echo through the tunnel
Back to the skull
At the very crown of the building
Rope makers work tirelessly every day
Stitching brown threads into the ceiling
Packing insulation tight in perfect rows
Until the rain comes in and washes them out
Trying to weatherproof roofing shingles
That act as if they are no thicker than coffee filters

Sometimes the power surges to quickly
Everything goes dark
Batteries overheat
Unable to remember which switch to flip
Which circuit breaker to fix
Which wires to cut, splice, and fuse the ends
Where to put the band-aids so they will stick
Until they get wet
A four battery chamber transformer
Inducting molecules, protons, electrons
Gassing up to restart
Not knowing which end goes to which side
How to get the cover back on
So I don't electrocute myself
Fry the circuits, start a fire

I end up
Sitting in the dark, alarm blaring
Emergency sprinkler system going off
Making puddles of tears
To drown out my fears
All wired up
Overloading and burning out
Turn the wind turbines on
Let them dry up the mess
Blowing fresh air through stale lung chambers

The ache in my stomach refuses to part with me
Empty shelves in the pantry
Don't cry over spilled milk
Tear up, when there is none to spill
Empty glass jars sitting in boiling water
All jammed up
Refusing to cook
Because one time
The gas was, accidentally
Left running, on the burner
Fear is a smell I would prefer die without tasting
A tasteless life no sweeter

I close the doors.
Oaken ribcage of my halls swing shut.
Hinges creaking under the strain
I remember why
I don't let anyone in
It's to cold in here for me
To quiet for them
Hating how I feel
When left lonely
Without a friend
If the dark is all I now how can I fear it
I am not near it
Becoming what I always knew I was
Not a single cut above, or below
Not a mark uncounted
I am the one who makes flowers grow
On the inside of the earth
Down below
Down I go
To dance after death

it just kind of happens
and I don't know what to do
but I know I am lost
without you

The morning star, born into light.

I just want to put my hand over your mouth
Stiffle the stupidity as it streams out of your head
Maybe I am just bitter
Time changes things
But a rotten core is good for only swine
The fruit does not fall from the trees
You came back for the truth
It draws you in
But too close
And at what expense
You would light a fire
Yet you have no fear of flames
The apprehension tingles on my tongue and courses through my senses
I pick my words as though they were flowers in full bloom
As sweet as honey
Oh how I wish they would sting
For what is this mess you make of things
Just turning over soil when you could be planting crops
The nuts have been gathered
By those that will devour them with the hunger of a winter
If only I knew how to wait out the storm
I clasp my hands together but they will not clamp
The desperation beads on my forehead and slips into my mind
Salty thoughts and a foolish tongue
Must it be bound behind my teeth
When I would lash it against you like a whip
I want it to sting
That you would turn your foolish head in shame
For your pride carries everywhere you go
You will come to find me
I will be ready
But not waiting
The foolish feet that carry you
Have many lessons to be learned
You will look at me with eyes of desire
And I will burn you alive with the fire behind my eyes
Just to give you a glimpse
Of what is waiting for you
Just one gate away

can you hear me
save me
know me again

do you miss me
love me
make it all right

will you kiss me
love me
find me tonight

will we break it
fake it
find a way to make it

we both sleep alone
on our own
in the dark, apart

I wish you goodnight
tonight
in the twilight

my time is measured in cups of love
in stars in the sky and dreams above
my heart is heavier than a paperweight
because what is holds is ornate
my spirit is stretched way to thin
to hide all the secrets within
my soul is on it's vacation
I reiterate as I pull into the station

My doubts find me in the night
Two and a thirty-nine will make it to the light
Here we lay twixt earth and sky
Here we sleep, here we lie

It was with him, he who told me he would die for me
That I fought most of my battles with

**** these words, in my head
**** these wounds, how they bled
A cord that tightens
And strings that break
I'm a paper town
Thin, fragile, and frail

**** this fight, I cannot win
**** these demons, that laugh within
A butterfly bereft of its wings
And a discarded cocoon
I'm a shell
That broke to soon

**** these sleeves, that hide
**** my head, logic tried
A sliver of sanity
And a drop of hope
I'm clinging to it
Like a rope

**** these games, we play with words
**** this heart, that's never heard
A night I'll never have
And stars I'll never see
I'm blind and alone
Come look with me

My mind in its lazy moments
Always finds its way back
To the thought of you

While some would trade
Their soul through bars
For just a handful of cigarettes

And other lost stars
Fall from the sky
To give the earth just one kiss

Yet many still run a ragged race
Through streets of memories
Only to rest forever in the cold dirt

I cannot help but ponder
That maybe like how trees try to graze the sky
You would let me grow with you

And such as dew kisses the grass at dawn
You would greet me in the morning
What a sweet sentiment is this

Like a shooting star
Running through the heavens
Such as this, I run to you

cry me a river
build a bridge
and get over it