Monsters don't sleep
Under your bed
They live inside
Inside of your head

I miss you
When I'm happy
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you

I miss you
When I'm sad
And you're not here
Because I want to be
Happy with you

I miss you

The lines in your face
Deepen when you laugh
The tears on your face
Remind you of your past

The way your brows crease
When you think so hard
The way your eyes light up
And you shine like the stars

How you knit your brow
When you are lost in thought
How you change your voice
And pretend to be someone you are not

How your heavy eyes close
When you are ready for sleep
The way your face crinkles
When you try to peek

All so familiar
But it hurts my heart to remember

Even in the chaos of my mind
I try to make peace with you

Heartbreak drives a black car
I see it everywhere I am
Watching, waiting
What a strange ghost
I fear the familiar
Never the unknown
I should have left you alone
On the street where I found you
How will I protect my peace now
I gave it away
I am giving up
I would rather bear your burdens
Than my own
It is the most dangerous thing to love
I would not call this brave

I shall add my existence
To the passing of this world
And intertwine my small hands
To the universe
Still unwoven in mystery
And clouded in shrouds
Of hope

The stars are farther away tonight

I set fire to your lies
I burned the beauty in your eyes
I put rain in sunny skies
I sent all the spies

I put the break in your heart
I was the rope that pulled you apart
I am the broken wheel on your cart
I poisoned the sting on the dart

I led you to troubled water
I made you want her
I built the fire made it hotter
I took the blood from the slaughter

I put the beast in the beauty
I took the valor from your duty
I let you think that you used - me
I made you fell like you abused - me

I add the dark to the light
I hid the stars in the night
I put the scared in fright
I was the wind that blew your kite

I am the sand that you are sinking into
I did all this to prove I need you
I made this choices cause I couldn't get though
Not without you darling not without you - I do

When I bit the inside of my cheek
I expected the taste of anger
To pour into my mouth and down my throat
I didn't know the pain that would also coat my tongue
And catch in my throat

I hated it
I hated this

But this taste,
Oh that I could spit it out
Or wash it down
Yet no matter how hard I tried
It burned
Oh it burned
The whole way down
To think, to know
And remember

Everything that you said was a blow to the face
Still I turn the other cheek

Hope still, as I would
But you would never know what it is to be gentle, or kind

I suppose the difference between us was so simple
That you need look no further than our hands
Mine, within each other, clammy and clamped together, like every word that I bit back
Yours, a fist in your pocket and a fist behind your back, and oh how you loved to hurt me

How can I sing
When my voice is broken
You ripped out my heart
And set in in a chest - oaken

How can I dance
When my feet immobile
You tripped my and I fell
You my enemy are far from noble

How can I laugh
When my heart is so tired
The sadness seeps into my bones
Is that what I inspired

I cannot help but to blame myself
The weight is on my shoulders
I carried myself high
But now I am buried under boulders

Broken glass underneath my feet
A river carrying me out to sea
I glide in a painful daze
Trying to escape - to be free

I travel under the sunken earth
And I hope never to see the sun
It is finished - it is over
It is done

Believe in myself
There is nothing left to believe in
I am broken
And again you win

It was just a trick - Just a joke
Am I the punch line
Will I make it to the end
How can I be drunk - without wine

I stagger up a mountain
Trying always to reach the top
Though I just keep slipping
I will never ever stop

If I could but reach the sun
Then maybe I could shine in the sky
Or would I just get burned
Why cant I see my whole life - I've been living a lie

I try and I try but to no avail
My skin is black yet also pale
I walk a ****** wicked trail
What will happen if I fail

Should I just turn back
No there is nothing left for me
I need to climb
I need to be free

So I bend my back
And I shall bite my tongue
And the end
We will know who won

The waters between.
The sky and earth.
The wind that races clouds.
Pushing pounding and burning.
Heat of sun on warm sand.
Nothing I cant handle nothing I cant stand.

Hush, your crying
Little one
It will be okay
I won't let you go

Big troubles
For a little heart
But such a big heart
For a cruel world

We have all
Cried our tears
Yours no more salty
Than the rest

Hush, little one
All things will be well
The night is here
But the sunrise will come

I kissed you goodnight
But I didn't know we would ever see
Tomorrow's morning light
Because it was the dark that set you free

You say I am the best that you could ever ask for
But I don't understand when you say you still want more
When I chose to turn a blind eye to your other loves
When its like being touched with care through burned gloves

Your other loves come around and its like I don't exist
When I see they way you look at them and feel like I got punched by a fist
This plot is way to cliché for it to have any meaning
And everything you do to me is far to demeaning

We've never known what it took for a relationship
Its like being unprepared for a painful trip

When your other loves are your only loves and I cease to matter
When you other loves cloud your vision and you cant see me
When your other loves get in my way and put me down

Then I shall cease to exist
But remember it is your choice

I want to write for you
But sometimes I have no words
To string together like lights
I have only this love

How can my words explain
The lost love and all the pain
How can my words say
That I wish I wasn't alive today
How can I show you me
Without you judging from what you see
How can you say my name
Without me remembering pain

How can my actions speak
Louder than words that are weak
How can I live for the future
When I can barely make it through today
How can I stop choking
And figure out what to say

How can my heart
Not feel so heavy in my chest
How can I give you part of me
When there is nothing left
How can a needle patch me back together
When I have been stabbed to many times
How can my nerves be strong as iron
When I have been beaten and broken
How can I turn my face to the sun
When all I see is blood

How can reason stand above emotion
When this is bigger than both of us
How can I not fall to my knees
When I am weak from lack of care
How someone love me
When they are never here
How can my tears grow a flower to blow
When all I remember is gloom

How can you smile to the sun
Why I cry under the moon
How can your eyes run dry
When I just start to cry
How can the paper get wet
When it isn't raining
How can the water leave
When it isn't draining

How can my word make sense to you
When they are all jumbled in my head
How can you face the day
While I hide in my bed
How can you rise out of the ashes
While I get whipped with so many lashes
How can a smile be so hard to bear
When not a single person can say they care

How can a candle still shine without air
When I know that this life is not fair
How can you chose me out of the others
When I try to hide in the crowd
How can you hear my voice
When everyone else is so loud

How do you see me on the ground
With a all the people milling around
How can you love me or is it just pity
When I cant break the chains or be free

How can you see me as beautiful
When all I show is a disguise
How can you say you care
When there is nothing there
How do you make me wonder at your light
Instead of crying throughout the night
How can you give my heart peace
Instead of trying to fight
How can you love a wretch
When I am not strong enough for one

How do you say I am the one
That makes you better
How can you write the songs
And I write the letters

Don't leave any little piece  of me behind
Because the littlest *pieces are the hardest to find

I have seen you
And I have glimpsed death
In life I have never known coincidences

I will follow you to the ends of the earth
Even if we never get back again
I will chase the stars across the sky
As long as I am by your side

Recent mistakes
And emotions

Drowned out in tears and 30.5% alcohol

Praying they will never re-submerge

I am wanted by none
What good is plump fruit on the vine
If none pick it from the tree
It just spoils in the heat of the sun
No matter how sweet

If you put a gun to my face
I would wrap my mouth
Around the barrel
Look you dead in the eyes
Tell you, to pull the trigger
Only when I am starving
Will I eat my words

What is our existence degraded to?

I am burning
in a hell.

The hell of my body.

I rot from inside.

And find not one, single,

place where I can **hide.

Dares are for fools
Age knows no numbers
Regrets are nothing
Kept in secret

Age knows no numbers
Regrets are nothing
Kept in secret
Dares are for fools

Kept in secret
Dares are for fools
Age knows no numbers
Regrets are nothing

Regrets are nothing
Kept in secret
Dares are for fools
Age knows no numbers

Dares are for fools
Age knows no numbers
Regrets are nothing
Kept in secret

Keep in secret
Regrets are nothing
Age knows no numbers
Dares are for fools

I tried to suffocate the pain inside the shell that is my body
but it choked my lifeless instead
so now inside my messed up head
all my cells are dead

it is cold in Nowhere
the candles are all lost
it is dark in Nowhere
the moon is on vacation
it is peaceful in Nowhere
the war is all behind
I am trapped in Nowhere
don't try to get me out
the cage is fake
and all the bars

This is almost what I wanted
I am so sure
But still uncertain
I want to walk with you
See where the road goes
Hold my hand?

Do you know how to write a love letter
I mean, you never wrote them to me
But you must know how, it is in you
Write out your heart, for me to read

I don't believe any life is a mistake
But I know I've made plenty in life
Just wanted to be your, and you mine in turn
Didn't meant to make any trouble, or cause strife

My skin burned red, when you were pulled away
A forever so much shorter than I ever imagined
So many memories crowded up in my head
Something though I wonder, if they really happened

I was lost, I loved, I lost,  I lost my love
So many words and all of these hurting hearts
Like trying to hard to make a snake dance
I thought I was a duet, I was left playing all the parts

Wisdom is nothing when your lips part without regret

Close your eyes
It is okay to go
It has been a long life

Close your eyes
I will sing to you
Humming gentle melodies

Close your eyes
The music will go with you
Where I cannot follow

Close your eyes
It is time
The angel’s will carry on the harmony

I seldom put my ghosts to sleep
They are the spiderwebs of my consciousness
The martyrs in the back of my mind
Even they, in their dead wisdom
Don't want me to wake up

You called it grief
I will not name it differently

Sleep when we're dead
I'll be tired then too
Lover come over
Lover I lost you

Tell me what it is like
To have a father
One who comes when you call
One who’s voice you recognize
At whisper and not anger
Tell me what it is like
To be sheltered by strong hands
Before you go out into the world
Tell me what it is like
To learn strength from example
And not necessity

I do not know you
Because of who you are
Rather, the parts of you
I see in myself
If they were not so familiar
I would tear them out

I wish you had healed, for yourself
And for me
But there are no shooting stars
No second chances

I am further from you now
It doesn’t not matter
If we are a thousand leagues apart
When under the same roof
I was as inconsequential
Blood and strangers
Father and daughter

Tell me what it is like
To carry a burden
That weighs nothing to you
Tell me what it is like
Not to stumble
Under the shadow
Of your heavy fist

I do not care
If you are proud of me in secret
You do not know me
I do not care to be know

Do you remember when I was little?
I had a nightmare the whole house
Came down around us
It was terribly dark in the rubble
Once.
You comforted me
Once.

I am not dreaming now
The house has come down
Not from the rafters
From the foundation
It was not strong
Not solid
Not able

Tell me what it is like
To pour your anger out
Like water into the cups of children
Tell me what it is like
When you cannot quench their thirst
Tell me you will change
Tell me you are sorry
Tell me you can do better
Tell me I was worth being good for
Every time I counted my pennies
I come up short changed

I would not know
The man who says these things
He is not my father.

She was an origami girl
Something you could fold in the palm of your hands
Slip into your pocket
And just forget about

She was a paper mache girl
Someone you could wrap in layers and layers
Until you couldn't tell what was truly underneath
You would leave her out to dry
But the sun warmth never touched her center

She was a paper airplane girl
Something you set free to the air
Falling again and again
Until you lost interest

She was a paper doll girl
Lacking depth and emotion
Pressed flat between pages
Just an open book
For you to tell a story you thought was fitting

She was not paper
And she was not string
She was a just girl
Oh what a beautiful thing

If I told you
I wanted to rip my skin off
I don’t know
How you would look at me
I can be naked
Not vulnerable
Know that when I say this
I have already
Been tearing myself into little pieces
It seems I have been trying
To get the words out
For a thousand years
My throat is full
Of all the things I did not say before
I sit here at the bottom
Of a hundred mountains
I will never climb
A hundred birds come and tell me
Of the beauty on the other side
I ache for something I will never see
I am too tired for the journey
My feet too weary for the path
My bones will not hollow themselves out
I am still empty
What a weight it is

Lover, it is just you and I
Way up here, in the sky
When I look at you
I am not afraid
Of how high we are
If you feel fear, my love
You do not show it
If you are sad darling, cry
They are praying for rain below
And we have found no gods here

I have been absorbing darkness
For a long time
Painting my burning rays
Across where you could not see
Do you feel lighter
Now that you are illuminated
I was not hungry
But I have swallowed up your sins
Spit them out as blessings
For you to feast
It hurts to heal
But I will not make it
Any harder than it has to be
I am here for your journey
You will never know
The role you play in mine
I could find you
Blind and mute in the dark
I would not even struggle
I only wonder
Why you lost me to begin with
There is no grievance between us
I will seek you
Until you are whole again
I am all the broken pieces
Of anyone I have ever loved
I am all your pain and your guilt
I am your fears and bitter truth
I am the voice of reason
Telling you, you are worthy
Taking your pitiful currency
As gold
I am the temple
The offering
I am the unburdened
Go, and be light
You are free
Even of me