You wiped your hand down my chalkboard                                         erasing pieces and bits of me                                                               ­   Leaving  partial pictures and words                                                            ­mixed  in with blurred memories                                                         ­      A smear of dust in white                                                            ­                        as  I go fading away                                                             ­                          disappearing from your life                                                             ­                      I was never meant to be in anyway

Open up let me give you a taste                                                            ­               of the hell in my life  that you gave                                                             ­        always right there is no other way                                                              ­    just shut up and do  what you say                                                              ­  I  stood  up and you flinched at my strength                                                 I've pushed back and kept you at arm's length                                             You  hate that the tables have turned                                                            You  get  to  feel  what  it's like to be burned                                                   All the power and all of your hate                                                             ­      Is  something I no longer  tolerate                                                 ­ My  decisions aren't up for debate                                                           ­     You've  held me down for long enough                                                     Didn't realize it made me so tough                                                            ­ Thank you for being so rough                                                            ­             All  it did was build me up

Repressed memories slowly resurfacing,                                                   resentment filled, plagued by self- guilt                                    Filling  the  cracks with wet sand                                                             ­     doing  it alone, all by hand                                                             ­              Unwilling to feel, unable to deal                                                             ­    Unable to heal , unhinged, unsealed

You possessed the rare ability                                                          ­           to  encourage me to embrace my fragility                                                        ­ to help repair the cracks in me                                                               ­      with your love like kintsugi                                                         ­                        Hairline fractures filled with dusted gold                                               bringing  beauty back tenfold                                                          ­            every flaw an experience                                                       ­                                a reflection of my resilience

I woke up sad this morning                                                          ­                       after days of feeling blue                                                             ­       dark  clouds have been forming                                                          ­           keeping  me feeling subdued                                                          ­  I've  remained  in isolation                                                        ­                       to  try to  gather up my thoughts                                                         ­          or   to attempt a transformation                                                   ­     maybe   it  is all for naught                                                           ­            Either  way I need seclusion                                                        ­             behind  my wall I feel safe                                                             ­          Let  the  world see the illusion                                                         ­        even  though it is all fake

While you were losing your **** mind                                                             ­                                                  I  was  picking up the pieces of mine                                                             ­  as  you were trying to hold me down,                                                           I  was standing on firmer ground                                                           ­ When you were busy shifting blame                                                                 I  was noticing who you became                                                           ­      I  had to step back to fully see                                                              ­              this person who stood before me                                                               ­      My  mind was clear, my heart unscathed                                                        ­ somehow  I escaped the war you waged                                            I  poured into you real love and truth                                                            ­      it ended up being too much for you                                                  so  you  did what you always do                                      project  blame  and  give attitude                                          You  thought  your silence would be                                                            a  fit punishment for me                                                               ­      but  instead it brought me peace                                                            ­      and  a whole lot of clarity                                                          ­                      I  grew up and you stayed the same                                                         and  it's where you will remain                                                           ­     sad,  bitter and lonely                                                           ­                        taking no accountability

You never said more than ten words to me                                                               ­                                                      and  that's just a **** tragedy                                                     ­                   You had a hard time showing your love                                                      made  me feel not good enough                                                           ­   You  never said I am proud of you                                                          so  I  stopped trying to prove  it to  you                                                          ­  You  ignored me most of my life                                                             ­      and that cut me like a knife                                                            ­       Old woman take a look at me                                                               ­   I'm  more than you'll ever be                                                               ­          Now I look at you with pity                                                             ­        I  didn't need you to validate me