The world is trouble right now                                                              but we  have to make it right somehow                                                         It's  so easy to just bow down                                                             ­ when  everything is falling all around                                                       Plant both feet on solid ground                                                           ­    get  ready for a second round                                                            ­           Two wrongs never make a right                                                            ­ we  have to stand and put up a fight                                                  People  rioting  in  our streets                                                    all  in  the  guise  of  free speech                                                           ­    Innocent children are dying every day                                                     as  the evil are  having their way                                                  But  our  faith  gives us the hope                                                             ­  and  the strength to cope                                                             ­                    God  is humbling us                                                               ­                            it  is in him we must trust

I have never meant anything to you                                                              ­You kept me around for something to do                                                        I've  said  it  before,  but  I am through                                                          It's  time  that  I  move  on  to  something new                                                              ­                                        I  gave  of  myself  one hundred percent                                                          ­   until  I broke while you never bent                                                        Thinking that you were too good for me                                                as  you chiseled away at my self-esteem                                                      ­ I  only stayed because I thought it was true                                                       that I couldn't do any better than you                                                        but  if you really are the best that I'll do                                                             that  says  more about me than about you                                                              ­                                              That  I  would sell myself short so that I                                         could  just have  someone  be by my side                                                             ­                               I'd  rather  be  alone and spend time on me                                                               ­                                                this  very  person  that  has  been hiding                                                           ­                                Sometimes  people  are  like  steppingstones                                                  ­   and  I was  meant  to follow that road                                                             ­   to take me from where I used to be                                                               ­      to undiscovered territories

I don't know this stranger looking back at me                                                               ­                                                   I   don't  remember  changes  really   happening                                                        ­                         My  face  no  longer resembles me                                                               ­  I  put  my  hands  on  my temples, cradling                                         Who  is  this person before me, I say out loud                                                             ­            Someone  who  once  held  her  head up proud                                                            ­                              Now  I  am  just  another  person in decline                                                          ­                                 Whose  eyes  have  faded and no longer shine                                                            ­                             They  used  to  be  such a beautiful blue                                                             ­                        Now  they  are  dull  with a slight yellow hue                                                              ­                                 Lines  and  wrinkles are covering my pale skin                                                                                                             reflecting the same way I feel within                                                           ­   Where did my life go, what have I done?                                                            ­                           Have  I  ever  meant anything to anyone?                                                          ­                                   All  of  these  realizations scream out of me                                                               ­                                      while  the  person  in the mirror stares back lifelessly

It's five in the morning & I haven't slept,                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
Your pillow is moist from the tears that I
wept                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                        
The bed is indented from where you once
laid,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
let me in on this game that you play                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
I guess I was a fool now looking at the facts,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­             
never thought you'd leave, or I'd want you
back                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­           
  I always told you to go if you didn't like it
here,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
I didn't mean it to be so loud &
clear                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
We threw words like knives, hoping to wound,                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Why couldn't we had worked it out more soon                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                               
You never want what you have until it's gone,                                            
                                                                ­                                                
  I   have only ever wanted you, all along

I woke up sad this morning                                                          ­                       after days of feeling blue                                                             ­       dark  clouds have been forming                                                          ­           keeping  me feeling subdued                                                          ­  I've  remained  in isolation                                                        ­                       to  try to  gather up my thoughts                                                         ­          or   to attempt a transformation                                                   ­     maybe   it  is all for naught                                                           ­            Either  way I need seclusion                                                        ­             behind  my wall I feel safe                                                             ­          Let  the  world see the illusion                                                         ­        even  though it is all fake

Sandcastles by the sea,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
fairy tales & tea parties,                                                         ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                  
pink buttercream frosting,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  glitter and butterfly wings                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  Those are some of the things,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
  that her memory brings                                                           ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                        
  Party dresses and sweet sixteen,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
  slumber parties with no slumbering,                                                      ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
my little girl did all these things                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
and it hurts remembering                                                      ­                        
                                                                ­                                          
  Football games and movie dates,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
  blue flower printed pillowcase,                                                      ­    
                                                                ­                                            
  Mister, the soft brown teddy bear,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                    
  ringlets of soft blonde hair                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
  My memories are all I have,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                            
leaving me broken and sad                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
She is gone, she lost the fight,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                              
cancer has taken her life                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                          
Tonight, there's a star that's shining bright,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                                
I wish I may, I wish I might,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
bring her home and I'll be alright,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
  my angel, my ray of light

Have you ever seen a road                                                             ­           that  you never saw before                                                           ­ and thought  you would like to go                                                               ­    and see what it had in store?                                                           ­            A road you didn't know existed                                                          ­     up  in  the mountains you visited                                                          ­             How  many times had you missed it?                                                              ­  covered in clouds and in grey mist                                                             ­      A  road no longer accessible                                                       ­                    covered  by trees, so successful                                                       ­          unnoticed  by you, how regretful                                                        ­     A  landmark of the past, so peaceful                                                         ­      Untouched by the world ,so long                                                             ­  It  held  up independent and strong                                                                To  tear  it down would be so wrong                                                            ­  I  walked there, birds in song                                                             ­     Feeling  like I had gone back in time,                                                     I  closed my eyes and opened my mind                                                              I  could escape this life of mine                                                             ­         and  immerse myself in one more divine                                               Ivy  climbing ,a moss covered pathway                                     from  now  onto a road to yesterday                                                        ­ where rabbits and squirrels still played                                                         and  I knew I wanted to stay                                                              Every  tree  so lush and green                                                            ­  Foliage  growing so peaceful and serene                                                           ­    A  place  of  refuge  where  I could stay                                                             ­                                                      I  am  glad  I found the road to yesterday

My heart is a gray painted room                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
  the paint is chipped & peeling off                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
The only window I can view,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
is filthy & the dirt is smudged                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
The dimmed light that filters
in                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
is speckled with floating dust                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
but yet I can still pretend                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
that that is good enough                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the wallpaper under it,                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­             
almost hidden from view                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
pictures of daisy & violets                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
and dandelions too                                                              ­                
                                                ­                                                                
­ Even though it's faded,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's still able to be seen                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
 It has not dissipated                                                       ­                                     
                                                                ­                                            
there's still love in me

Memories like rippling water                                                rings  spreading  out and then fade                                                             ­Dissipating and traveling farther                                                          ­ until  they disappear with grace                                                            ­ Each  ripple like a tree ring                                                             ­    indicate  a time and place                                                            ­                of  a  life time we were living                                                           ­    filled  with memories we can't erase

With a head full of anger, a heart filled with rage,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
she ran away from home at an early age,                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                         
she headed to Hollywood to take the center stage,                                      
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
a predictable ending before the last page                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
She spent all her money on a ticket there,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                             
she didn't make plans, she didn't care                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
Just the kind of person ripe for abuse,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                                 ­ vulnerable, scared & very confused                                                         ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
He bought her dinner, she sold her soul,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
she dressed the part & played the role                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Now she walks the track, every night of the week,                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
does as she's told, listens when he speaks                                                
                                                                ­                                                 
 She longs for the life she used to have,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
misses her mom, misses her dad                                                              ­                                                                
The drugs he gives her, numbs the pain                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
from when he beats her, calls her names                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
The stories she could tell you, things she's seen                                          
                  ­                                                                 ­                           
make her look much older than seventeen

You act like I owe you something,                                                       ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
was it a favor that you said?                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­   
Because I owe you nothing,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
you can get that out of your
head                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
All I see when I look at
you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                          is everything that I've been
  through                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
So, what do expect I'll do                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
when you're the person who                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
didn't care when you made me cry,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                            
walked away with hate filled eyes                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                              
Every single time I tried                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
  you killed what was left
inside                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Funny how things turned around                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
ever since I stood my
ground                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
You never thought I could                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
even though you knew I should                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                 
 You will no longer hold me down                                                             ­             
                                                                 ­                                                 
  my eyes are wide open now

You do not know me,                                                              ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
too caught up in
you                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                     
 and that just shows
  me                                                            ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
you really don't want
to                                                               ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                        
So many chances
given,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
as you make your excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                              
 Only one life I'm living                                                       ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
and I feel I'm being used                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                               
 Why am I still with
  you?                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
  I don't know
anymore,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I thought I loved
you                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                  
but I need something more                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  Do I make it too
easy                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
for my needs to be ignored.                                                         ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
It's you I've been pleasing,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  you take my all and more                                                             ­                                               
                                                                ­                                            
Now empty and
depleted                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
  you leave me feeling blue                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                            
Angry and
defeated,                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
I can't keep loving you

Aww, your life isn't turning out like you want it to be                                                               ­                                                     so  here you are showing up hoping you could come to me                                                               ­                                                  thinking  that I could give you guidance or some sympathy                                                         ­                                                        even  after  the way you treated me so callously                                                        ­                                   Tears  in  your eyes and your all apologies                                                I  can  see  the manipulation so clearly                                                          ­  Funny,  not too long ago this would have worked                              but  now  any love I ever felt for you has been purged                                 The  *****  on you, to think that I would believe                                     in  anything you think you're going to achieve                                 I'm  going to push you away because I need to be                                  no  longer  there for you, but here for me

How can the sun keep shining so bright,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
when has darkness cast itself over my life?                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
How can the birds keep singing merrily,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
when I'm feeling lost & so **** lonely?                                                          ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
  Why can't the world stop & grieve for
    me?                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
Why does it go on rather selfishly?                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
All of the light in my life is gone,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
how can I be expected to move on?                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I miss my life, the way it was then,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                              
when I was as happy as all of them

Is that a glimmer of hope in your eyes,                                                              a smile  that's starting from deep inside?                                                          ­ Could  it be that that shadow of doubt,                                                 has  been  exorcised, has been cast out?                                                             ­                                    Maybe  you  now believe in yourself,                                                        ­  it's  time  you  join everyone else,                                                        Life  is  better amongst good friends                                                         Let  go  and be free, let the doubt end                                            Everyone  has  fears in their life                                                             ­   don't  let them keep you confined                                                         ­            Unlock the shackles of anxiety                                                          ­   Run,  don't walk set yourself free

Hot tears sliding down flushed cheeks,                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
gasping sobs that make it hard to speak                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                                         
  I wipe the tears from your warm
face,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
but they resurface and are
replaced                                                         ­                 
I see your eyes they're filled with
    pain,                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
comfort you over and over again                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll hold you all night if I must,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
fill you with love till you say enough                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I know you need someone tonight,                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                     
allow me to show you some
light                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                              
Forget whatever is hurting you,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
    let me put life in your eyes, so
blue                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                                     
I want to wipe those tears for good                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                    
  Let me love you, the way I
should                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
   If you could open your heart to
  me,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
   I'll put a smile on your face, permanently

Bitterness, anger, disgust & hatred                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
  the resentment for you inside me rages                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I don't have anything left to lose                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                          
I have given my everything to you,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
  and this is what you gave to
me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
You have left me emotionally damaged,                                                         ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you have left my shattered heart ravaged                                                          ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                          
If I had had the choice to choose,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I would not ever have loved you                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                      
 and this is what you gave to me

I am broken and tattered                                                         ­                  Is  it  that too plain to see?                                                             Tell  me  that  it  doesn't matter                                                           ­ that you can still love me                                                               ­                 Hold my hand and tell me                                                               ­             that  you won't go away                                                             ­                    Persuade and convince me                                                               ­                    that you plan to stay                                                             ­                      Let  me lay up against you                                                              ­                       I need to feel that I'm safe                                                             ­          I'm  doing all I can do                                                               ­       to  ease  the  emotional weight                                                           ­  Pull  me  into  strong arms                                                             ­        protect  me from myself                                                           ­  Save  me  from  self-harm                                      ­                            I  put  myself through hell                                                             ­     Be  my  personal life line                                                             ­                Throw me a strong rope                                                             ­          Be  there  at the right times                                                            ­               before  I lose all hope

I know you know you hurt me                                                                         ­                                                     
with words that were damaging                                                                             ­                                                  
I'd wait around for an apology                                                                                ­             
Wanted you say you were sorry        
                                                   ­                                                                   
I'd get angrier every passing day                                                                       ­                                                
And you never had anything to say                                                                      ­                                               
Like a fool I'd forgive & forget                                                                          ­                                       
Thought you still loved me yet                                                                              ­                                               
 kept chasing you as you ran away                                                                           ­                           
 Until I saw the truth today                                                                    ­                                    
 You never really loved me                                                                   ­                                        
  And that's why you aren't sorry                                                                          ­                                                     
I never had you to begin with                                                                        ­                                                
That is the sad fact of this                                                                         ­                                                       
I wished you had let me know                                                                                                                      
  Because I would have let you go      
                                                        ­                
  I know you never really loved me,                                                                    ­                                                
                                                                                                                
  But I was too in love to see

The roses you sent me                                                               ­      are  withered on the vine                                                             ­                   As  dead as my heart is                                                               ­               since  you're no longer mine                                                             ­   The  picture you gave me                                                               ­                    is  covered with dust                                                             ­        Such  a  sad  reminder                                          ­                                       of  the  two of us                                                               ­                     The  card  that you wrote                                                            ­ is  yellowed  with age                                                              ­   evoking  memories of                                                               ­               our  better days                                                             ­                                  All  of my friends say                                                                              to  throw them away                                                             ­        But   while they are here                                                             ­                 a  piece of you stays

I can no longer rely on memories,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
of when I loved you & you loved me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
 I've been trying hard to remember when,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
we were lovers, we were friends                                                          ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                       
A thousand years ago, so it
seems,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                        
 since we treated each other like human
beings                                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
It was easier to hold on to the
past,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
than it was to make our love last                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                       
I know I must occupy some same part,                                                            ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                                 
in the withered ***** you call a heart                                                            ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                     
I know we have gone way past the time                                                          
                                                                ­                                                    
  of when our love flourished on the vine                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
At least allow me some civility,                                                        ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                        
  and let go of what's left of me

When the day comes that God calls you home,                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
   I hope I am with you, so you won't be alone.                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I often try think of what I could do,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                        
to make that departure easier for you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                                
I know you like me to sing to you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                          
if I can, I will, I promise you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
I'll try not to cry, put on a brave face,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you are not someone I could ever replace                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                               
  When I see you make your way to the light,                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I will comfort you, hold you tight                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                 
 The stars for me will still shine bright,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
I know you're up there & are you're all right                                            
               ­                                                                 ­                                  
No one else could fill that hole on in me,                                                        
     ­                                                                 ­                                      
though I may try, however foolishly                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Once someone like you touches my heart,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
I'll need someone to love so I don't fall apart                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                            
My days for me will never be the same,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I'll never forget you, forget your name                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm sure I'll say remember you with a smile,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 it will bring you back if even for a little while

Security blanket and night light                                                            ­         pull the blanket up, chin tight                                                            ­    We  succumb to our fears                                                            ­           as  our  parents wipe away tears                                                         We  are  told it's okay to feel                                                             ­ but  no  one  tells us how to deal                                                             ­   Crawl  into our parents bed                                                              ­       told  it's  only in your head                                                             ­      Cradled  in Mommy's arms                                                             ­   we  feel  safe from harm                                                             ­              Sooner or later it's forced on us,                                                              ­   we  are told it's time to grow up                                                               Thrown out into the cold world                                                            ­     sink  or swim, little girl                                                             ­                  Just  because we turn eighteen                                                         ­      doesn't  mean a **** thing                                                            ­           Coddled, protected and secure                                                           ­           then  tossed  to the sharks gathered at the shore                                                            ­                               Wonder  why  they  come back home                                                             We aren't ever taught to how to be alone

Your approval I used to seek                                                             ­   but  that  gave you power over me                                                               ­Taking my life back made you weak                                                             ­  I  opened my eyes up, now I can see                                                         I'm  not like you, nor do I want to be                                                    you  made  me  ashamed of being me                                                      I  broke  away, you can't catch me                                                               ­   I  don't feel lonely, I feel free                                                             ­                 So full of judgement, peppered with hate                                                             ­                                       your  jealousy  made  me  feel  second rate                                                             ­                                              My  wall  is up, I locked the gate                                                             ­     from here, I see you, as you deflate                                                         How  does it feel to be all alone                                                            ­I  couldn't live under a dome                                                             ­            I  am sure I won't be the only one                                                              ­           to  experience  your heart of stone

Someone somewhere hopes tomorrow never comes                                                            ­                                           while  someone  else  can't wait to see the sun                                                              ­                                             For  some  it's  easier to erase away                                                             ­ each  and every one of their days                                                             ­ Somewhere someone has lost their soulmate                                                                                                       and  elsewhere  someone's   heart  is  filled with hate                                                             ­                                   while  one  just  cannot see                                                                how  others  live life so carefree                                                         ­  another  feels like the world might end                                             while  others chose to just pretend                                                          ­  that  nothing is going wrong today                                                            ­     and  everything  is going to be okay                                                             People all living so differently                                                      ­      some , like they think it is meant to be                                                       while another is barely holding on                                                           suffering and all alone

Repressed memories slowly resurfacing,                                                   resentment filled, plagued by self- guilt                                    Filling  the  cracks with wet sand                                                             ­     doing  it alone, all by hand                                                             ­              Unwilling to feel, unable to deal                                                             ­    Unable to heal , unhinged, unsealed

The crisp smell of Fall is in the air                                                              ­      smoke  from chimneys emit everywhere                                                       ­  Children  wrapped  up in sweaters tight                                                            ­                           Vibrant  leaves  dancing in the sunlight                                                         ­ Pumpkins  carved with smiling faces                                                            ­ Children  running through corn mazes                                                           Honeycrisp apples and hay rides                                                            ­         Mulled cider waiting inside                                                           ­Haunted  houses and nature walks                                                     Bonfires  burning and harvesting crops                                                            ­  As  the  north winds usher in November                                                         ­                    these  are  the  things  I will always remember

I've given myself permission to just be me                                                               ­                                          to  accept  myself as I am unjudgementally                                                  ­       to  look at my reflection and like what I see                                                       to  open  up  my                                   mind  to  loving  myself  wholly                                 ­                  to  seeing  all  the  things I do as natural for me                                                               ­                           and  stop  trying  to  do  what's expected of me                                                               ­                                to  accept  my  flaws  as parts of me                                                               ­ and  to love myself unconditionally                                                  ­    to  open  up my heart without fear                                                             ­         to  cry openly and to shed my tears                                                            ­to  put myself out there honestly                                                         ­        to  be all  that I am meant to be                                                               ­       to  stop  living for others and to put me first                                                       to  realize  I have value and what I am worth