Another morning that I wake up depressed,                                                       ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
it's painful to see that you're not home yet                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
As my heart beats hard inside my chest,                                                                                                                         ­                                                      
     it breaks from your constant disrespect
                                                                 ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                  
Leaving my mind to play the blame game,                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
    what did I do, what is this one's
   name?                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
You've broken every vow you've ever made                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                     
 and every time you did, I   always
  forgave                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                              
  When & if you ever decide to
arrive                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
  still drunk from the night & probably
high                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                   
You'll tell me all my nagging caused
this,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
point your finger & call me a
*****                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
   I'll bottle all that pain up deep
inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  but my tears are harder for me to
hide                                                      
      ­                                                                 ­                                           
   My heart can't take another
hit                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
   I know I deserve better than
this                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
   As you sleep soundly till five or
six,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                           
  I'll pack up myself & then the
kids                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
  You have nothing that I want to receive,                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                 
tomorrow it will be you waiting for me

I am going to hide within myself,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
seem­s I can't trust anyone else                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                           
  Betrayed by those closest to me,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
why is this even happening?                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I'm no longer able to afford trust,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
when do I say enough is enough!                                                          ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  Life shouldn't be this hard,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
it's time I chest all my cards                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I guess what they say is true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  the only true best friend is you

I am past the point of caring,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                          
I am past the point of hurt                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                          
I shut down and stopped sharing                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                                
I think we are at our worst                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
You've ripped out my heart                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
and left a jagged hole                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
but the saddest part,                                                            ­                                                
                                                                ­                                                                 is it's turned black as
coal                                                             ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
I feel hollowed out and vulnerable                                                       ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
  empty inside without a soul,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                            
unable to feel or just incapable                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
You have achieved your goal,                                                            ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm unable to smile, numb to the core,                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  a barren waste field, unable to grow                                                             ­                     
 You're such a glutton and return for more                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I thought you loved me but didn't
know                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
that you're a selfish person, a total *******

The sun boasted of romance's it had seen                                                             ­                                                               during  the previous summers of love                                          For there  have been many a young teen                                                             ­                                                            who fit that description like a glove                                                            Shining down to sun-kiss  pale skin                                                             ­     like a fourth of July firecracker sparklin'                                                        ­   Heating  up the fires that burn within                                                      Summer romances on the horizon                                                          ­           The lazy days and the long nights                                                           ­  staying  out  late by the bonfire light                                                            ­ The magic of romance ,touching your life                                                Feel  the rush and come alive

You are a two-faced poser, a wanna be,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                          
  a tourist in your life, who are you gonna be?                                              
               ­                                                                 ­                                          
  A Gemini, chameleon, you're a deuce                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                    
  everyone you've known you've abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­
You've spent whole your life trying to be                                                              
­                                                                 ­                                           
  a real-life person with integrity                                                        ­          
                                                                ­                                                
You're a hater & can't stand to see                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                            
anyone who's happier than you'll ever be                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A ruiner of life, you're a charade                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
filled with self-loathing & rage                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
I wish I could feel bad for you                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but you make that difficult to do                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
If you could admit what you've done,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
you could have had what you want                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                
True to your nature you remain to be,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
a backstabbing snake & a wanna be

You drug me down in my despair,                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
you shamed me into staying there,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
made me feel that no one cared,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
I was a prisoner in the devil's lair                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                              
Every time I gathered up strength,                                                        ­            
                                                    ­                                                                  
 you assured me you were my friend                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Went on & on to great lengths,                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
you loved me when others didn't                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'd given more than I really had                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                
held you whenever you were sad                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
but you never gave me anything back,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 
leaving me broken & in your grasp                                                            ­                                                                 ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I was focused on that tiny light                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  that shone in my heart, so bright                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
I knew there was a better life                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                     
not with you but Jesus
Christ                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I called out to God in Jesus's name,                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                        
asked him to heal this heart of pain,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
to let me walk in the light
again,                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                          
allow peace of mind to begin                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
as I planned my
disentanglement                                                  ­                
                                                ­                                                               
 from life with you &
  punishment                                                    ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
for a power that was heaven
sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
and now I cherish life's every moment

You & I have disconnected,                                                    ­                                  
somewhere along the way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 I've been feeling neglected                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
more with every passing
day                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  If I ever asked you to
go,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  would you ask me to
stay,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  and even if I had said
no,                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
   would you stay
anyway?                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
   If I thought you
cared,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you loved
me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
   the house that we
shared,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't feel so
  lonely                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
    If I believed you would try,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you'd be there,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
     then my crying eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't have this cold stare                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
    I have done more than my part,                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
    I've stepped up to the plate                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
   and now my once loving heart,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
   ­ is only filled with hate

You said you would never call me names                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
But you lied & now nothing is the same                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
If you hit me, it would be less pain                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                               
 Love is replaced: resentment has remained                                                         ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
 I remember when you loved me much more                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
And now you don't love me anymore                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
We live together, yet we live apart                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
  Our hatred has changed our hearts                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  We'll never go back to what we had                                                              ­                                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
All the good in you has changed to bad                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't be who you expect me to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
   You've ****** the light right out of me                                                               ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
   I won't try to hold on to you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
   Make my heart numb. not be a fool                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
    It won't help to say that you're sorry                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
    You meant what you said, no apology                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
    I guess I needed to hear a moment of honesty                                                
                                                                ­                                                
    Even if was peppered & haughty                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
   I won't say that you didn't tear me apart                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                           
   With your wandering eye, wandering heart

Is it that you aren't up to the task                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
  or maybe you are too afraid to ask,                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­     
    when you see that I'm falling apart                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
that I detect apathy in your heart?                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
Was our love real or was I wrong                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
have you always been stringing me
along?                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
I thought you were always going to
be                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                   
someone who would be there for
me                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I've been truthful & true to
you,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
had your back when you felt
abused                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
 ­ A shoulder to cry on when in need,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've patched you up
repeatedly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
but every time I have fallen down,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
  you let me lay there on the
   ground                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                     
 It was easier for you to walk
away,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
than to be support for me &
stay                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I think deep down I 've always
known                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                     
  that your true colors have
shown                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I was too in love with love to
see                                                              ­                                            
 that you never stood beside me

Everyone's breaking off their pieces,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  leaving me broken & so empty                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
As long as they fulfill their needs                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
in the end who cares who bleeds?                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
­Tugging on the scraps of what's left                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                
pulling at the heart in my chest                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They get their fill they leave the rest                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
finally feeling sated, I clean up their mess                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I thought that what I gave to them                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
would be returned to me in the end                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
Leaving me sick with my confusion                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all I am is & disillusioned                                                    ­                              
                                                                ­                                              
Never give your love away
 you may need it yourself, someday

The wind whispers softly to me                                                               ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
 Telling me how my life could be                                                                  ­                                                    
 A story unrehearsed                                                                          ­                                               
Love in every verse                                                                    ­                                                   
Of two who overcome                                                                            ­                      
the odds to falling in  love                                                                          ­                             
Gentle breeze , tell me more                                                                         ­                                                  
Let me know what love is for                                                                                 ­                                                      
I listen quietly every day                                                                          ­                                   
To hear if love is on the way                                                                     ­                                    
Even leaves fall in pairs                                                                          ­                                                     
It seems that love is everywhere       
                                                                                                    
Everywhere but here with me                                                                            ­                                                     
all alone under this old tree                                                                                                                                                      ­   
The wind caresses my skin                                                                  ­                                                    
Where loving hands could have been                                                                    ­                                              
Why must I be all alone                                                            ­                                                                 ­                    
I want a love of my own

Get your knee off of my neck                                                             ­                                                                 ­                
Take your foot off of my chest                                                            ­                
 You used to say I was the best                                                             ­               
You fill my heart up with regret                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
You build me up to bring me down                                                             ­                                                
I do better when you're not around                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
You want me 6 feet underground                                                      ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Prefer me not to make a sound                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
At one time, those big dark eyes,                                                            ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                       
made me feel safe inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
but there was hatred brewing there                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                              
  exposed by your cold, blank stares                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  Y­ou are not who you used to be                                        
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes, I think you'll **** me                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I think you have a monster inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
That you wish you could still hide                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I no longer feel love for you                                                              ­                                                                 ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  I only stay because of what you'll do                                                               ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  I'm too scared to run away                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I know that will fan the flames                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
The thrill of the hunt in you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
will give you any **** excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
  To give me what you think I need                                                             ­                                                                 ­
  A lesson you're sure that I'll heed

Someone asked me what I do well,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
I didn't know and couldn't tell                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
Never really thought about that,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­         
I had always worn the same hat                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  Decided I should go find out,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  who I am, what am I about?                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
  Set out on a journey to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  my aspirations, my realities,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                
  Found out I liked to write,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                          
couldn't turn it off at night                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Pen to paper opened in me,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
a hidden talent, an ability                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Bought a journal & set down,                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it became therapeutic, I found                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Couldn't get words out fast enough,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
I felt self-conscious opening up                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Now keeping it in hurts me more,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
so many stories behind these doors                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
Now it's second nature to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
to be starting journal twenty-three                                                     ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Feels so good, just to breathe,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  to get all of this out of me

You say you are ready to talk,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
after I tell you I'm gonna walk                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
Tired of the procrastination,                                                 ­                                             
 you bring to every situation                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                         
I hear your silence out loud                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                              
I'm the only one in the crowd                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
who's always picking up the pieces,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                        
whenever your attention ceases                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
This is the same thing, different day,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you don't know what to do or say                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and when you speak you tell me
  lies,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 so many reasons that you can't  
  try                                                    ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
I have heard all of this before ,                                                                ­                      
about how you will be there
more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
Your love has filled my heart with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
you have nothing I can't live
without                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
I really can't take on another
bout                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
  of surviving your nuclear
fallouts

Lying in a field, of tulips so red                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
Endlessly staring, into nothingness                                                      ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
Is anyone caring? Am I being missed?                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                       
Frozen in time, left in this place                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
The days go by, slow as a snail's pace                                                            
­                                                                 ­                                               
Winter blows in, I'm chilled to the bone                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                   
When summer comes, I'm still not home

Words haunt me,                                                              ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                          
forming
unprovoked,                                                      ­                                        
                                                                ­                                            
growing inside   me,                                                              ­                                                              
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
stuck in my
throat                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                              
Keeps me up
nightly,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                      
sometimes I must
write,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
can't take it
lightly,                                                         ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                    
till I make it right                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
Pushing,
evolving,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                        
thoughts in my
head,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                           
puzzle solving,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
writing in my
bed                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
Causing
anxiety                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                             
if I don't get it out                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
It stays in my
memory                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
and jumbles about                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­     
Finally, the ******,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I've got it all down,                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                           
 as I try to go
  back,                                                         ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                          
to sleep safe &
sound                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
Like a leaky
faucet,                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it comes back
on,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've had
enough,                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I write until dawn

I've been running around trying to change                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                              
   but found one mold doesn't always fit                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                
There's not a lot I can do about being strange                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
it is what it is & that is this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I may not have the typical family,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm not ashamed of being me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
there's no reason for trying to be,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
someone else other than me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I might not share your point of view,                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
that's because I'm me, not you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­  
If we were to act exactly the same,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
we may as well all have the same name                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ might not like how I carry myself                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
but I don't want to be like everyone
else                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I like the differences I see in me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
I am not a clone or a wanna
be                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
You can point at me in judgement,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­            
pretend you are heaven sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
But I know I have common sense,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I don't want to live a life as someone I resent

Like a tape player on rewind,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 I see it all clearly in  my mind,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                          
memories flash before aged eyes                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the things I lived before I die,                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I see my children, small & frail,                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                    
acknowledge attempts that I 've failed                                                           ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
that I would have done differently,                                                     ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
in the life of another me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  I remember first days at school                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
  picnics­ at the swimming pool                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  all of those wonderful
memories                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                 
 and others not so
pleasantly                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I remember how love can hurt                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                              
 of things that were far worse                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
All of this pain I pushed away                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
to remember another day                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I hope if that day comes,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I can stand up & be the one                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ that is so convincingly                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­       
another version, another me

There comes a time when it's all or none,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
   when you don't want a bite or to even have some                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Some people I know say, that it's called greed,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
  but I believe it is fulfilling your own needs                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                    
I always wanted more than some might,                                        
                                                                ­                                                
wished I had the wings to take flight                                                           ­ 
                                                                ­                                                  
There is nothing wrong in wanting to succeed,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
to set the goals that you want to archive                                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
 It's not like I take more than I can eat,                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I am just a little more hungry                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
That gleam you may see in my eyes,                                 
                                                                ­                                                        
may take some of you by
surprise                                                         ­                             
                                                                ­                                                      
If it makes it too hard for you abide,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                    
  I'll step over you & not ask you why

Sometimes to transform you have to inspire yourself,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
don't wait for it to come from someone else                                                             ­                                                  
 If it starts to hurt it means you are growing,                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
   when things start to turn your wisdom is showing                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                
­  Give yourself the permission to
cry,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                           
  never give up you will succeed if you
try                                                              ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
The top of the hill seems far
away                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
but you will be able to conquer it someday                                                  
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
All of the mountains you have put in
place,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  will all be behind you when you win the race

How quickly life passes us by                                                         
  That we often don't enjoy the ride                                                        
   Always wishing our days away                                                            
   Like we are assured another day                                                    
  Days turn into months, then
  years                                                         ­                         
And just like that we disappear                                                    
While loved ones go through all our stuff                           
Holding onto trinkets we held dear  by us      
Every once in a while, our name comes up                                         
A memory , a life , a loss of love.

The man I loved didn't love me                                                                        ­                                                
 He told me I was unworthy                                                         ­            
                                                                       ­                                            
Called me names, that I won't say                                                                         ­                                
Made my life hell everyday                                                                      ­                                                 
His whole goal was to break me down                                                                               ­                                              
Make insults with others around                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
  I took it & swallowed my pride                                                                       ­                                              
Went along on a hell of a ride                                                             ­                                       
Telling myself If still loved you     
                                                        ­                        
 You would really love me too                                                             
        
Now I know there's nothing I can do                                                                     ­                                             
There is no fixing you

I took a knife & cut the
vine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
that tethered me to
you                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
No longer mine & that's just
fine,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
   I consider myself
rescued                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
  I'm happy to see you missing
me,                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­               
  because I'm not missing
you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                        
  Predictably, it's clear to
see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  without me you couldn't
  do                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  While under your care I didn't
thrive                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
 you starved me of your love                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
It made me know &realize                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ you would never grow up                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I now have reclaimed my
energy                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
it has grown &
bloomed                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
A bouquet of positivity                                                       ­                               
                                                                 ­                                                 
  and a life that is brand new

Here I am feeling your pain,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you've afflicted over & over again,                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I'd like to give you some of the same,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
but sadly, some love still remains                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
Claim you do it 'cause you love me
so                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
But all that your love is letting me know,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
is you love yourself way more than me                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
That you can only fulfill your needs                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They say time is a good remedy,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­ 
but there's not enough time for healing me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                               
So here I am, I am letting go,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the only love I have ever known,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
where I'll end up, you'll never know,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                          
because if I stay, I will never grow

You didn't confess when confronted with your lies,                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
how quickly I regret ever letting you in my life                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                               
  You think you were so smart, leading me along,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
an actor playing a part, convincing me I'm wrong                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Making me think it's me being paranoid,                                            
           ­                                                                 ­                                         
since then, I am done, it's you I now avoid                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So now, you say that you are missing me,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  like that will somehow change my mind,                                              
                                                                ­                                                
I think it is time for you to see,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
these eyes of mine aren't blind                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
You are telling all our friends,                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
you don't know what you did,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
when will all your lying end?                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ treated me like ****                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
  It isn't up to me to tell                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­  
everyone my side                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                     
 You just wait, you'll see                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
the truth you can't hide

Have you ever held on to a love you know is already gone?                            
                                                                ­                                                        
Are they all you think about when you hear a certain song?                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
Have you ever reached out to an empty bed at night?                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
Just to feel the repercussions of always being right                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
Did you ever breakdown because you miss them so
much,                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
have you ever closed your eyes to remember their touch?                                        
                  ­                                                                 ­                                   
Do you ever wish that you could reverse
time,                                              
                                                                ­                                                        
change everything that has happened, make it all
fine ?                                       
                   ­                                                                 ­                          
Have you ever sat alone in an empty room,                                        
                                                                ­                                                
with pictures & cards that say, ''I love
you?''                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Have you ever had such a badly broken heart,                                                    
      ­                                                                 ­                                             
you don't know how to begin or know how to
start                                                  
                                                                ­                                                     
 It happened to me, I must confess the
truth,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
my broken heart is the ultimate proof                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
If there's something I can say to help
you,                                                    
        ­                                                                 ­                                           
It's to thrown yourself back into loving
you                                                    
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
Toss away those things that remind you of them,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
it's the best way for you to start living again                                                
                                                                ­                                    
Remember how beautiful you can be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
take the time to find the "real me"                                                      
       ­                                                                 ­                                          
Get up, get out, go with your
friends                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                
soon you'll find your hearts on the mend                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
 If you ever find yourself in love
again,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                      
remember always being right can make that end

It's been raining in my heart all day                                                              ­   storm  clouds gather, growing dark                                                  The  chances of the sun's bright rays                                                        are  looking completely stark                                                            ­       A  thick blanket of fog rolls in                                                               ­       followed by strikes of lightening                                                       ­      A  wave of emotional turbulence                                                       ­  the  storm in my heart's closing the distance

You can't stop me from dreaming,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                    you can't stop me from reaching                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I may be an over achiever,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
it's because I'm a believer                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                          
I trust in no one but myself,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
can't depend on no one else                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll climb the mountain and not fall,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
conquer and break down every wall                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll hold my head up with pride,                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
  with confidence in every stride                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                              
  Proud of every step I take,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
  be sure of every move I make                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The master of my own destiny,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
I'll be whoever I want to be

She runs to catch up, he leads the way,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sure that their love has seen better
days                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
It's probable that they'd always held
hands                                                      
                                                                ­                                                     
  while she made sure he felt like the
  man                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­   
  He'd hold the door open as she walked
  in,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
  now he runs ahead & she's left chasing
  him                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  They both sit at the diner with nothing to
say,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
he reads the dinner menu as she looks
away                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­          
What ever happened to how was your day?                                    
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
  The golden couple is now a dull
  gray                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
They eat in silence & when they are
through,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
he pays the bills without any
cues                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
They leave the same way they walked
in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
he runs ahead & she is chasing him                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                        
Whatever happened to make them this way?                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A couple with nothing left to say

I am going on a journey, I don't know where,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll let you know the details, when I get there                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
You call it running away, I claim escape,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
anything to put a smile back on my face                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
You call it self-indulging, I say it's a
need,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
this deep-rooted hunger that I have to feed                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
See, I have been trying to make myself believe                                  
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
that your sparse love is all that I need                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Now I've awakened, that doesn't satisify me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
and I'm the only one who can make me happy                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
If my leaving hurts you, know I am sorry                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  but I'm long overdue for this journey

No love is known where no love is shown

Not so very long ago,                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                                    
I tried hard to let you know,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you played a part,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
in creating hate in my heart                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
I wanted you to pay,                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
every single **** day                                                              ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
but while I punished you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I was punishing me too                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
It took all my strength,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
to hurt you at great lengths                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I wanted to see you cry,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
you knew the reasons why                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I wanted you to break,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
yearned to tie you to the stake,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
to watch you hurt and bleed,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
just like you did to me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Now you are old & gray                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                             and I too have also aged,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
I heard you are alone,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    feeling bad for what you've done                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As stubborn as can be,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you won't say you're sorry to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but as I have grown up,                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel you've paid enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So, I'll be the bigger person                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and tell you're forgiven,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
as much for you as for me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I will say I'm sorry

I want to shrivel up and blow
away                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
like a fallen leaf on an autumn
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
      a carefree dancer, waltzing in the
breeze                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                   
 form a pile on the ground, jump in
  me,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
  feel the rainfall wash over me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  then bask in the sunlight, so
  colorfully                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to melt into the damp dark
earth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
 to be born again when Spring gives birth

I have weathered the storm                                                            ­                   I've swam against the riptide                                                          ­              was tattered and torn,                                                            ­                                                         
 turned­ in from the outside                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­  I didn't know how to swim,                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                  I was lost out to sea                                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­   I had nothing to left to give                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ and nothing left for me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ Lost in the black forest                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 that was thick with trees                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                For the weary, no rest                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                  heart weighed down heavily                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                               No bread crumbs or trails                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­  to show me my way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­       Only the will to prevail                                                          ­                                     Has saved me today

I was faced with a choice when I met you                                                    you came in with an X and were someone new                                                              ­                                                              I was with a guy, but I wanted you                                                              ­ now I pay the price for breaking all the rules                                                     I broke the heart of a good man                                                              ­    didn't see him in my future plans                                                            ­      but **** ,the lessons I have learned                                                          ­   loving you was like being burned                                                           ­      I had never loved anyone before                                                           ­             gave you my all and so much more                                                                        I gave more than I could afford                                                           ­     until I finally shut that door                                                             ­                    I wonder who I could have been                                                             ­               I know now that we weren't meant                                                            ­        I worked so hard to be your number one                                             when I was already that to someone

You pass your judgement off onto me,                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
with strategic, hurtful whisperings                                                      ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
You even believe your own lies,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
think you're a master of disguise                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You don't even care if it's right,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
   I brought my truth to a knife
fight                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Your only goal is to win the game,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  where I am expected to take the
  blame.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  A game where no one will really
  win,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, I am cashing all my chips
  in                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
   I am no longer filled with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
so go ahead and call me
out                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I think it's time I turn the
tides,                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
I am in your head, I am inside                                                          
                                                                ­                                           
   Ravaging your comfort zone,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
   leaving nothing but skin and
  bones                                                         ­             
                                                   ­                                               
  I'm now comfortable with your
  insecurities,                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
  taking the power from you and giving it to me

My heart weighs one hundred pounds,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
tethered by a chain that you drag around                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
  You­ have the power, you have the key                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ My abductor, but I stay willingly

She holds her hand over the flame,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                            
 trying to tolerate the pain                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
behind her someone calls her name,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
in their attempt to make her refrain                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
She blinks back her hot tears,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                     
 that she's held back for a thousand years                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
but it isn't the pain she fears                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                     
 and not from the voice she hears                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
In her mind she is not there,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
she's taken herself to somewhere,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  that she can escape & not care                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
from the reality she cannot bear                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                     
  running fast, she's broken free                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
  of all those painful memories                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like a horse out of the gate                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
she runs from her growing fate                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
as a child, she was abused                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
as a teen, she was confused                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
a little girl who was used                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
helped all that anger to fuse                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
into the girl whose name                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  is being called again & again                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                       
so many people are to blame                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
for hurting the girl who seeks the flame

Take my heart, tear it in two,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
put it back when you are through                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are the best at what you do,                                                          
                                                                ­                                            
showing me, I am nothing to you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
Knock me down, step over me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you treat me with such cruelty                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
Punish me with severity                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
for just trying to be me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Was there a time that you cared?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Did I imagine what we shared?                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
My heart is filled with despair,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the hole you've left is beyond repair

I will bend but I will not
break,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I have given more than I
take,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I have fallen but got back
up,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                     
    paid my dues more than
enough                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Have stood tall against the
storm,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
faced those who have done me
wrong,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
I've surprised even
myself,                                                          ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                 
walked through the fires of
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
 You may ask me
  how,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I'm still strong even
now                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I have one word to
say,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
God, helps me through each
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
  With him in my
  heart,                                                        ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                               
 each day's a new
start                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
  He gives me all I need,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
  healing me when I
  bleed                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I owe him everything,                                                      ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  I love the peace he brings                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
My inner strength is
him                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
He loves me despite my sins.

I deeply exhaled and I let you go,                                                              ­                                       
an inner peace I've never known                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
no reflex at all, going loose,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                              
      doing exactly what I choose                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
 Relaxing for the first time,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
releasing pain in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­
  Melting while I float away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                              
  living my life, my own way                                                              ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                     
  I'm letting go of me and you too,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's something that I needed to do                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                 
  Thinking of only myself,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                  
  putting me before everyone else                                                  
                                                                ­                                          
  Foreign but delectable,                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
feeling free and unpredictable                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes & sleep so deep,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
  a well-deserved dreamless sleep                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
  My mind is clear, my heart is
light                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
My spirit soars like a bird in
flight                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                            
By letting go of me and you                                                              ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                       
  it was the best thing I could do

Lies can be told without words                                                            ­                   silence is still loudly heard

You have made it so loud & clear,                                                           ­                                             
   that my efforts are not wanted
  here                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  I've given you more than I
received,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
hoping you'd give me what I need                                                                     ­                                                       
I blame myself for loving
   you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
for tolerating all of your
abuse                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                            
 Keeping your secrets to keep
  you,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                              
made me equally as wrong as
you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
  I can't even say that you used
  me,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I gave of myself so
eagerly                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                
Even when I felt you
distancing,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I gave you all the time to be
free                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So wrapped up in you, I didn't
see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                   
that you were manipulating
me                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Your happiness was my
priority,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
even if it meant I got
nothing                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They say you accept the
love                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
 you feel you are deserving
  of                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
  My eyes are open to who you
  are                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that I have been living behind bars

I've been standing in the shadows watching others live,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                  
allowing them to take from me all I had to
give                                        
                                                                ­                                                
Saving nothing for myself, I'm an empty
soul,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
    I need to find a remedy to help make me
whole                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
 I was raised to give to anyone in need
                                                            ­   
  but I didn't realize that ''anyone'' was
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                        
Thinking it was selfish to withhold my
love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
allowed me to put everyone else above                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
  Trying to please others was something I 'd
  do                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  and I got satisfaction from loving
you                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  By the time I noticed, I was someone who,                                        
                                                                ­                                                            
  wa­s never taught to show myself that love too                                
                             ­                                                                 ­                    
  I've been standing in the shadows watching others
live,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  giving more of myself than I had to give

Someone told me to write what you know                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
but I'm not sure that is the way to go                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
All I know is heartache and pain,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
when writing it out, I'm reliving it again                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I'd rather write poems about someone else,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
to take some of the heat off of myself,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
to escape to a world full of fantasy,                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
where no one even resembles me                                                            
  ­                                                                 ­                                                     
I want to write of love and tenderness,                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                              
about someone who knows happiness                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
I want to write about someone breaking free                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 of all of the problems plaguing me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                              
That's where I want to be

My heart looks like a crime scene,          
                                                                ­                                                        
   a victim of love bleeds profusely                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So many cuts inflicted on me,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
your love has left it's print on me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Your weapon of words cut like a knife,                                          
                                                                ­                                              
causing me pain, threatening my life,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
only held together with caution tape,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
sealed with lies & bitter hate                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
Hit & run, I am left dealing.                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
with a heart that has no feeling                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You are guilty, the jury is in                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
may you burn with others condemned

You are here right here with me,                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
looking through, not at me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We are suffering quietly,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                                 so much is said, silently                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
The TV plays way too loud                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
You stomp your feet too proud                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
  Neither of us is willing to do,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
what's needed to get us through                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You give me an icy glare,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                     
interrupting my focused stare,                                                           ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                  
slapping me into reality                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
of how bad it is between you &me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  The washer machine in the background,                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                              
   cleans up dirt without a sound                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
   But you & I can't get
by,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
   our dirt gets materialized                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                            
   Behind the walls we are seen,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
as a couple whose grass is green                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While eating our dinner we fall apart.                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
  as we eat the other's hearts                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 The fence is white & the flowers bloom.                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as we explode in the living room                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The pictures hung so perfectly,                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like we once used to be

I see the narcissist in you                                                              ­                       so strategic in your moves                                                            ­     manipulated I Love You's                                                            ­                 used to pull me closer to you                                                                             So many secrets you couldn't tell                                                             ­      kept them hidden very well                                                             ­          While I was busy weathering the tide                                                                 it had kept the enemy by my side                                                             ­         You loved me from your ego and pride                                                 knowing I was your ride or die                                                                             I had to pull back on my emotions                                                         ­          step out of that turbulent ocean                                                            ­        God had blessed me discernment                                                      ­     pulled me from the riptide current                                                          ­   Regaining control of the true me                                                             opening up an ocean of possibilities

Broken glass on the floor,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  holes punched through the door,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
all say I love you & more                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
to those who've been there before                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
Pictures out of the frames,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
piled up ready for the flames                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                              Curse words & then your name                                                             ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
all in efforts to assign blame                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Cell phones with cracked screens,                                                         ­   
                                                                ­                                              
police called to a domestic scene                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
Bleached clothes strewn in the tub                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
   all this has to be true love                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                             
Ripped clothes thrown on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
along with your heart & more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
All of this drama, what's it for?                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
This isn't love, it's settling a score

There is not a single day, that I don't walk this way                                                              ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
It's just a path that I take, when I have decisions to make                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
It's given me the chance to see, God's work so perfectly                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
Amongst the birds and the bees, are flowers I keep noticing                        
                                                                ­                                              
They are both yellow and orange, not much to see,                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but I have seen them bloom in May, clumped in snow on a cold day                                  
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
  I can't help but admire their will, standing tall, standing still,      
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­          
its head held high with dignity, I hope I have that strength in me