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stillhuman Mar 2021
Through yellowing pages
I've travelled many places
And tasted pastries from that baker
And held a man when he was crying
And seen the sun when it was raining
And fell in love when I was hurting

To trees now gone to create
a contrast strong in black and white
I feel thankful for creating life
Who knew paper could be so magical?
stillhuman Mar 2021
I saw you in a dream
unexpected but nonchalant
as you always are,
your skin touched mine
and sunlight covered us both.
It felt like summer,
like time had stopped
and never progressed
to the moment you let go
of whatever was left of love
and affection and reverence.
I awake to chilly night air,
no sun nor arms to warm me
I check my phone, it's two a.m.
It's cold.
How is it that even now you still haunt my dreams?
stillhuman Mar 2021
"Can you hear that sound?
Do you see those tears?
Can you feel their pain?
Do you know for real?
Are you actually prepared?
Can you do anything?
Will you let it fall down?
Will you make it easier for me?"


No.
I will
conquer.
stillhuman Mar 2021
That's why I'm here
I'm here for you
to hide in fantasies
in your living room
We don't live in a perfect world, but I'll still be by your side when you come back to it
stillhuman Feb 2021
Love hurts
And that's an understatement
Cause it hurts when i worry
It hurts when i care
When i can't see you smile

I can't see you smile

I haven't in a while
It hurts to not see you smile
stillhuman Feb 2021
In your big warm hands
and in the smell of cigarettes
and that cologne you wear
that clings to the nice suits
that seldom touch your skin

I find that here
there is only safety
and the crushing guilt
that has always forced
my head down
and my shoulders to curve
on myself to hide
just how many scars
are visible on my face
-I find it gone,
suppressed,
blinded,
by your light
and your warmth
and I forget
its taste in my words
and its shameful existence
in my core
And I only care to be
embraced and devote myself
to you
Maybe you didn't put the sun in the sky but we could enjoy it together while it lasts
stillhuman Feb 2021
Spring opens up
something more
than the sunlight
through my heavy curtains
It creates new life
where there used to be ash

And that's what we do
getting rid of the old
to welcome the new

And we make do,
with every intake of breath
just for our lungs to have felt
more than rusty and dusty
old anxieties and panic and hurt
and to feel the new air
we grant ourselves

Because life doesn't end in winter
'cause humans persist
against the cold sharp glass of pain
just to see with their eyes
all the goodness and the warmth
and the happiness and the people
that we love and embrace with our souls
reconnecting and recognizing
ourselves in them
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