My thought process,
thoughtful, insightful, granted, it's predictable, unpredictable when taken for granted,
racing, pacing itself to get nowhere fast, upon finishing, it's silent after losing train of thought,
annoying, maddening, out of body like, needed, adored, and calming with logic to bring back perspective to make me comfortable in my skin,
what an idea.

Words follow silence. Silence follows words. Words follow one another as numbers follows the other. Words can speak of silence, and silence gives us room to observe those words. Words can say a lot the less they're spoken; or sound vague, a lot of words said can be misunderstood; or sound vivid, both ways could be taken for granted. I admired you through silence and didn't want to be anywhere else. I cursed you out through my words and rushed you to get me to work. I told you that I love you for the first time since marrying you. I chose not to talk to you when you wanted me to and needed me to. Silence proves words mean nothing though words can make something out of nothing and allow communication to exist to help most understand why or how they mean nothing. I require detail when too little is said, but I get the main idea. Silence gave me space to find that the devil was in the details in those few words said when I read between the lines. I adore rappers that are the greatest storytellers, the words of other rappers gets lost in the mix, but both can have a problem with repeating themselves. I either know nothing about them or back at square one and a lot is to be desired. At the end of the day it's stupid to question silence, I already know what it is except I hate to accept it sometimes. Words can't explain it though they can speak of it, the only thing I'm left with is the space between my thoughts about it and the space that I'm left with when all is said and done. It's Silence, I was aware of it when I was silent but I used words to help it sound more interesting. I love them both in this collection of words that may be lost or understood, I call it the lost tapes, found at your leisure, enter or exit at your leisure, think it's the **** or not the ****, think I talk a lot of ****, or ain't saying **** at all. Everybody's **** stinks and this has me written all over it.

forecasted to hit
mother earth dead in the face
father shed his wrath.

My security blanket of calling 911 got destroyed in the burning bed in which I lay my dreams down of serving and protecting people ungrateful and simply don't deserve my services. They only call me when **** ***** them up and it's them that wish to be saved. Such silly hoes. They don't want to be saved. Can't turn hoes into housewives but I learned wherever there's feelings a *** does exist, even in me cause now I'm on some *** **** with this passive aggressive ****, and until you wish to come back to this burning bed with me and see what started it to fully reconcile, it won't rain 40 days and 40 nights to fully wash out that demon and turn this bed into a waterbed. GOD isn't the typical firefighter, he won't save us from our **** ups if we don't want to be saved, we'll lead our newborns into a burning house as long as there is no happy home. GOD was knocking on our door which is our heart but represents the mind caught in sin, mind over matter, grow up and confess your sins, his ladder stretches to infinity, anything is possible, his vehicle is equipped with anything, he can save us anytime, but you gotta answer his call so he can lead you out this hell hole. And maybe I'll consider rejoining the crew, not as a captain save a **', but it's my purpose to help the people, it was a part of me that burned on that bed but with a little CPR, I could revive it to be stronger than it was before, cause now it's thankful that it lives again.

Tell me the truth about how my lively spirit gave you life again and was something to live for, lie to me about how you love me to death and shall death do us part, my life was something to die for, we're together but alone in this, enjoy and indulge in our affairs with growth that feels it lasts forever, till the truth strikes us both to see things clearly, take it serious but don't regret our last moments, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, darkness never lasts eternity, open eyes sense reality when the speed of light constricts the pupils to the simplicity of truth, I know you know it's true because your pupils dilate in our deep conversation, allowing me to see the intimacy through the windows to your soul as simple as love causes us to see things differently than before, die with the truth that our energies could never last a moment apart from one another; put your life on it.

I slept on sleepwalking, woke conscious people can't stand to absorb the vibrations of folks who's mind is tweaked off the twilight zone, at supper time it's a wake up call that it's bed time soon, solar eclipses brought the halo effect, daylight savings time causes us to fall into the habit of taking advantage of the night as the new early morning though summer was my season of love; I had nightcaps at women's houses, my baby making time to **** and call it a day, holiday season, I was greedy but valued giving more as the world turns, becoming a grown man woke for my kids, they stay sharp from rest from the stress of this ever changing day and night, people of the world, I married venus as the man on the moon on cloud nine, haters say I'm from Mars, I'm one with the Universe!

Sometimes it feels as if you're forced to run through quicksand, it's deeply quickly tiring, quicker than it takes sand to fall out of your hands, unpleasant enough to have you second guess going to the beach allowing sand to run between your toes, it's resistance in it's most blatant form, more obvious than a smack to the face, more abrasive than the sandpaper like tough skin I drowned in tattoos that signaled tolerance and triumph over the toughest people I ever knew, but I slept on the Sandman and now I must somewhat not panic to this unfamiliar face in the face of this probably being my worst nightmare; them tattoos ain't **** for him to dispose of; I might be rich as the soil, able to house and produce much fruit from my works and be able to maintain it, but the sand wants a piece of it too and will devour it whole and be poor again fore the sand even reaches the bottom of this hourglass; time will tell how I respond.

Looking for the silver lining struck gold around the time the new year arrived with a new resolution that I will rush towards profiting prolifically, unapologetically, though not a copper thief this time. I take back the setbacks I placed many in cause now I find with greater power comes more responsibility to respond to. The midas touch I may possess but turning water into wine is my greatest aspiration that trumps any means of charisma I felt I had to flaunt. I attended a ball one night and felt that I was ready for the world but got anxious when the first challenge presented itself to feel honored to give the world to the President's daughter. I feel treated like a stepchild now plus I feel resentment towards my father figure, Mr.Washington who influenced me to think I never had enough to start with. So as I came with what I had, my resolution became infamous as the epic fail though I was great enough to find a place in the library of congress, take that father!

Daily
Increase
Steady
Solace
Involving
Practice
Allaying
The
Ego

Simply put, as honest as this story is, I'd be a lie if I told you that this was easy to illustrate, partly due to memory, partly due to insecurity, I pick my poison to be mixed, play with fire cause I heal quickly but love to only **** with slow burn gars keeping years on my life though it poses a risk of suffering more. So recently I put down the grass and spend my time in the desert, plus this food desert helps with my other habit of bloating off dessert. So this detox has re-upped my openness to be a minimalist only for a while, abstinence is exercise also. I'm quicker to identify the things that **** you slowly, living and preparing for the future where our inventions might live faster than we do. I hope I'm wrong, at least I'm honest. I'd be a lie if I already said I was right, a little humility gave me the insight to see that lies come back to you in the future, and right now can dictate tomorrow. Can you see where I'm coming from? Can you see it?

To give you the power I don't even have by admitting that I was wrong and you were right, at least it's off my chest so I can loosen up a bit and adopt a better workout plan. Constantly overwhelming my muscles with work I could've put off tomorrow, I choose to come prepared now and well rested for any test that presents itself to me. I love to see you getting fit and not needing me to spot you on everything anymore cause slowly our favorite spot was turning into a detention center. I have no choice now but to pay attention. It can serve as a reminder that I haven't walked the stage and graduated just yet, I'm an undergrad. Teach me more.

On the surface it seems that I don't take too much personal but my energy beneath is personified as a mad man. Does the mind play tricks or do I get in that man's way because I always have a logical explanation referring to human nature as to why it's not that man's day, I can't cry a river for him cause then my fluidity goes dry. Reserve brain fluid and chemicals for better chemistry, reacting only to a man that could never be taken out of his element, cause then the math is simple and I find no problem to second guess anything, although the feeling is growing inside that I've become caricatured on the surface. Who have I become?

Got flak for being a clout chaser, I used reverse psychology and praised them for being haters to approve my agenda. It's what the world revolves around these days besides glitters I used to criticize current day rappers for glorifying; I recently bedazzled my footsteps to follow, made em all blind, materializing this path as if it's the way to heaven. It's hell to get here but as long as you believe in yourself, and don't let nothing cross right under your nose, sniff out the bloodthirsty fish within this ocean, the current does make a way for others soon to follow, never have no worries. Quite a smart *** I may be, or maybe I lost my mind, no regrets at this point, it evens out; you should get your sensitivity back once the high comes down, but do it over, and over, and over again.

Rich as the soil, my people rich as the soil, I want no dirt on my name, compared it to ***** in a bucket; so I don't want to stay in my community, I thrive with the people with hearts cold as concrete, no cookouts, at least there's no shootouts. My people lost in the sauce, I'm seasoned to drain these ***** ****** that taint my kids growth, no room for weeds to induce it. I'm rich as the soil, my people rich as the soil, until they know it, they're nutrient poor as the sand, you won't catch my kids at sand boxes; we'll be in gardens growing sweet potatoes and cabbages and poison it to savages.

Moving up while down. The fact I left looks right. I stopped to go slow, fast to locate trafficking at all costs. Back and forth it comes and goes, highs became lows as my self image of life in heaven was ego death within hell, I switch sides to play it safe, I'm on nobody's side, we go our seperate ways, and our differences unites us.

Excitatory signals fizzes out to satisfactory aftertaste once madness finds motivation and passion to let it go, I fly kites as a pacifist, the wind compassed it to encompass constant effortless field of featherweights, I believe I'm from the feather that flocks with superhumans that possess such birds eye view while my critics eat crow, I am so-so fly, on this so called surface where most just watch the clouds go by and never go above and beyond, they **** and dunk while I shoot for the stars, a shooting star I can be- beyond the court where we appeal but let the dome govern our range, I'm such a gamechanger.

Started from the bottom going over the top into a bottomless place, I over thought it from the top of my head, simply stuck with the basics at the tail end of what begun to be the last resort, rise above your situation, what goes up must come down, back into reality, head out the clouds, on to my hideout, head in my ***, headed to ******* myself over when the surrounding atmosphere becomes thin, my skin ain't thick enough to handle the pressure, the ******* blew by back out, legs became shaky, moaning from the pleasure and pain, I'm sprung with this nexus, sexually confused.

Winded while at a standstill, breathless!, the standard to win with integrity, I felt like I lost my life for a split second so I'm at a loss of words, give me time recollect what happened before the impact, think before I speak!, speak less to respect the flow of nature and regain the balance with this life force and trust that I WON'T.. FADE.. AWAY.

An elite caliber collective in its prime, strength in numbers used to be my weakness, as I was Mr. Do-it-all with a to-do list that left me clueless, even I do's were proven to be useless; left alone to contemplate it, I was ran off the playing field with a game plan predictable. Predicted to fail, my addiction left me winless, raindrops on my window, window pain became foggy, when I evaporate it with such brute force, I was weaker from such blunt force burned to ash. Rollover, toss and turn, racing thoughts kept in an urn, to open Pandora's box means to freefall but come out stronger, what can't **** me makes me stronger as I've risen above apathy, happily thankful for the nosedive or better yet skydive I lived to tell about. Accompanied by comrades that helped me get up and walk again, soon y'all will see me fly again once- I have fully recovered, kiss the sky and pursue your dreams, we all wake up at some point, once my eyes are fully opened, mine too will manifest in reality.

Mostly kept quiet, my loudmouth is reserved for those that deserve it; hard to keep a low profile cause a high demand burns holes in my pockets. These Levi's were hand me downs that's quickly tossed to fire, gave back to the earth as a chemical compound; you got nerve to call me cheap and selfish. Your talk is cheap cause you obviously don't understand illiteracy and it could cost you never being heard due to increasing expectations. This comes from experience and just to make ends meet, I had to quiet myself and find where all the hype was coming from, only to learn that closed mouths don't get fed, yes; but, you have to say the magic word(s), and I went hungry for a while, though you still won't see a bib around my neck; hell naw!

Receiving substantial compensation from no other than my competition who knew I was still hungry like a mad man fighting for the little he has left. His pride never left him and he's hungry to feed it back to health so he can be easily distinctive from these sorry motherfuckas expecting handouts but had no will to fight for that ****. I'm the first one there and the last to leave, not tooting my horn cause all I need is my headlights to expose that weakness in your physique. My technique is simple, just a knock out artist punching in and punching out when I'm satisfied with my results after giving it all I got. Another challenge lies ahead; time to lay down another law cause the law of yesterday is not enough to dictate the moves I have to make today. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, bob & weave *******, this survival **** evolves to be one step ahead, gotta step up to the plate- fight your way to heaven, that is all that's left to say.

Such a return to form I feel fluidity fastening freedom faster fore I fully fasten my seat belt, flat compositions fattened the first though last effort filtered for finishing my fabulous flamboyant firework. Fanboys filling fanmail with fatuous filler, factually it's fractious, firmly, I will return the favor feeling legendary, abanoning facetious features, feasting on the fever to bring back balance, all that's factitious will fantastically flee, fishing for fiction can't fit with the flow, it's empty calories like fishy feces used as fertilizer; I can't fathom to fixate on a flower that can't grow to fulfill the fantasy into a factual reality, which it now is just a futile factor of a false hope ******* up the future to be fatally flawed & fake.

To account for this meaningless daytime stroll, I'm taking footsteps in the dark to save my fuel for something meaningful and bright enough to outshine the ghosts I tend to see around this time. No need for gas, get off my *** and show the moonlight some respect, keeping me comfortable enough to sip on wine in this starry night, make a wish to see another day, in the words of Pac, "through every dark night there's a brighter day" to accompany a new born mindset I promise to keep as sunny as can be, no need for the kiddy beverage of Sunny D, this is practice to be a changed man and practice what I preach in the heat of the night, and to all that took the time to listen, sleep tight, I keep you in my prayers to see another day as well, let's make it last forever as is heaven and hell.

When you came full circle and showed yourself all the way around, I knew you was a square, trapped in a corner, no boundaries, not even rough around the edges. You're formless, quite predictable, you shaped an image I wish to waste no time defining, struck my curiosity to get you off this block cause you block the pyramid I know constructs this emotionally flat community. A flat-earther?, no, although you make your daily round trying to make a point of uncertainty in this type of atmosphere where we're certain that there's symmetry in this sphere of influence, so you have the freedom to spew all of this obtuse unrest but now I'm filled with this acute asymmetrical unease; might be, chemically imbalanced though you say you, advocate for balance, my realm of understanding is now the base of feeling misunderstood by somebody that feels they're on the cutting edge of things, and I can't shape it!

A vocal participant in this so-called slam poetry, my vocal range is flexible enough to push or pull the audience into my little world. My status has considerably grown, a lot of heads turning ever since they unconsciously proved the rule that the "eyes don't lie" to be the truth. Don't falsely accuse me of bringing this to light, though there's still secrets in the dark I wish to expose. Once I bring life to those skeletons in the closet you keep, they'll be able to flesh out your fear of death or maybe the paper skin and glass bones a lot of these negative energy spirits with fake *** fronts came with in attendance to see the life of the party, which is me having this out of body experience. It's many diseases in which I shall diagnose, enough to have you feel sick to your stomach about them after digesting my food for thought. So tell me, who came for supper this evening? There's plenty to go round. I'd be selfish to keep it all to myself, for I shall remain humble with no gluttony.

Mask my expressions with this ski mask, can't use my poker face cause my smile is big, my smile is pretty, I'd rather you not see me than let me deceive you, I give you minutes to escape. This is why I only strike when the freaks come out, they overshadow my intentions; I'm scared of watching my shadow do wrong and I'm in for a long night. Wish me luck, I might pay you a visit so be prepared. You'll get to know me; I'll say remember me, and be distictive from the others cause I'll give you a chance to take your **** back, and leave the scene on a cliffhanger, can you hang?

Feeling buzzed, nothing kills the rhythm except an abnormal heart rythym. The sound of a heart that's lost its confidence. It's bad blood. As I free write, I look for closure through the rythym of rhymes before I realize I don't have to suffer from the stress of blowing a gasket, it's now just my truth which means it's just me, in eternal rythym of stortelling, which means it never goes wrong. My blood thins out, this serves as my aspirin, my medication of release therapy that freed my flow. I'm fluid now, I know you missed this side of me baby, wherever you wish to go tonight, I'm capable of taking you tonight. I'm medically cleared, there's no anxiety when I find myself here, it's just the rythym of life, which is clarity that makes the birds sing, I have a song now just for us, and nothing could take it away cause with that clarity I'm certain I wish to be with you for the rest of my life. I'm fortunate I finally let it out. We jump the broom as a jump into our generation, continuing the tradition but giving us new direction into our path, I thought I'd never cross the line in a good way, my past all behind me. So insecurities are checked at the door and that's the end of the line. Cause this is our song, and I have no doubts about it. Awaken my love!

A beautiful sunset over a clouded ocean, my ocean of thoughts maybe cloudy, but nothing ***** up my day. A lover of tropical weather but occasional cold shoulders shoves these beachgoers on the beachfront where I normally just live and let live. I just ain't have no sunscreen but everything's gon be alright, kudos to those kids that share my swag, avoiding their cell phones to learn how to surf the earth rather than the internet. Don't believe everything you read, but keep aware. Don't allow the mist to haze the sunkissed vibes; you never learn to love what's in your blood. It's true your soul screams life; so every little things gon be alright.

To be or not to be. My state of being is not to be ****** with by other human beings. We intersect at different stages in life, your orbit does not infringe on the road of success I'm on, you're on the highway to hell, it takes a toll, you sold your vibrant soul so the stop sign you sped past is unable to instill discipline; life must only be a joke to you, you praise your reckless driving. I'm not gon ride or die with you, they say all birds of a feather flock together, you live by the sword so let that shotgun you ride shotgun with always stay loaded, pull the trigger and kiss the man that is a shell of yourself goodbye, it's suicide on I-45, in the fog, when it all clears up, and lifts to the sky, it's just another cloud that passes by, you passed on..may your soul rest in peace, I say again, may your soul rest-in-peace.

**** the inner man, I'm in outer space cause I need it. I have to grow beyond that inner critic that said I couldn't do it. Playing catch up, I'll never muster the strength to take the lead, an award winning effort that kept the doubts on the sideline. The gameplan changes to remain one step ahead, playing catch me if you can, watch your step, I've been cautious. I love the fact you came to play with your game face on, but that's just a mask to fool me cause I'll never join your team again. You're like a coach that never stayed out of my face, because even on the playing field, I saw your ghost instead of seeing what was in front of me. This is a team effort, we must remain strong when the other is down but you turned into a ***** and tried to turn me out, so *******.

It's always a photo finish for me. Such an event when I cross the line, the things that made us different just can't fly no more. I believe I can fly above these tall expectations, as I grow, they all become easier to achieve. I love that I'm over 6ft tall. I'm not average, but still I have large shoes to fill. I put myself in your shoes, explore different types of things I never thought I'd find myself in. I used to go by the notion "from the outside looking in", I'm thankful for the fact you let me into your world and now I refuse to let you down by helping to pull you back up and show you the way out. Though the question still lingers when it's all said and done, "Where do I go from here?", because there's a lot of motherfuckas who's shoes I feel I have to step on to gain some respect.Take a photo of that. And then take a step back. I wanna see how they react cause I love a new challenge. Don't throw in the towel. I wanna see you re-polish them ******* right in front of me. Cause then I know you got the heart to fight. And after we're done, we take a photo to show we have mutual respect, and let the world see we're unified to take another step to finishing what we started. A photo album of all our greatest hits, to be continued...

I keep a wallet sized picture of the big picture. It keeps me focused on my goals, when my photographic memory is weak. I exorcise demons and I never forget to exercise daily, keep the mind flexible so I can be prepared for the **** you try to pull. A big city heart so my attitude is cold sometimes, forgive my posture cause I miss being a country boy. Ride with me and I'll show you around, all the hot spots, places that would bring me the simple joys in life. It doesn't take a lot to impress me, remember how I said I exorcise my demons? I gotta stop trying to impress all these girls, some are dimes, some are average. I settle for less most often, so put in your two cents and tell me that I'm better than that, where I ****** up at, cause it's a new day, and time waits for no man.

Connection: Relate to me to see yourself in me. I wore your shoes. You ran my mile. They were tight on me. It was strenuous on you. Thereafter, in pain and burnt out, it only brought us closer.

A man with no form of discipline which elevates his sense of self-awareness has no business in being successful/= himself.

Seven days a meditator, you feel the peace in you can't demonstrate a perpetrator, you served me later with your built skills that still fulfills the feeling of guilt, we work to build a fuller thrill, when dull, indulged with pulls to ****, the bull in this revelation, is only lulled when he rules out his expectations, the cessation of the rest of this representation, can rest the case of this changing face, every place I find myself chasing happily, I find it sad I had dealt with apathy.. to recognize paths to this empathy.. becoming wise, seeing its lent to me, to feel the rest of me, by definition I'm real, steal this destiny, I was just hating to peel.. the deal that delivers the shivers to freedom.. the man in the mirror, I never can beat him.. lead him to the reading to feed him.. essentials with potential to greet him.. in the place that he wished for.. he's peaceful, now it's his floor.

To fruition reap and sow a growing mind, cautious of the weeds that tend to hinder it through vines.. be as fruitful as can be, squash the fruity roots that's taking shape, just as good as waste, one's that's playing ******* tapes, struggle just to bust a grape, OJ squeezed right out his element, I know I got the juice, leave em thirsty for quotables, Dr.Suess can cure the youth, we don't need no more killers, just teach em how to be noble and mobile children of our kind, multiply our troops and save our nation from the kind killing our mankind our tribe sees, I know that if I'm spreading this word it's on me and they hate it, harder to makeup for it than stated.. after a fine period I know my sentence will rob me of all my commas, and my only explanation is exclamation, stunned by how this oneness reached conjunction and confusion wishing patience, allows me, to read between the lines, no and's, no if's, or but's, this soon will be defined, cutting to the chase leaving less than what is needed to be said, instead just leave a mystery in how easy it's read.