The hardest thing I have ever done
Is told my daughter
That I no longer love her Mum.

Another dart to edge the thoughts
To feed the idle hands
Another sup to ******* the angst
Of a bitter and twisted old man.
The toxins ebb and flow
And slow
The time which fury paces
It is only he who tastes it.
Cracking slap of now and then
Needle into flesh of sudden memory
Shake the sepia to ashes
Back in the fickle stem.
Bellows of old echo
It is only he who hears it
Abyss breath allows the forget
Age allows to control it.
Choose between venom green
Or amber coals of liquid
Nicotine dreams manifests the scene
The constant, past and forgotten.

It will all makes sense when nothing else does.

Skies blue
Through effort
Pains become memories
And lessons.

Hold on tight my dear
These bumps won't cease
At least until retirement
At least.

Clean thoughts
Passionate kisses
Holding hands
Through crowds distant.

Let the demons fester
Just ignore them
Allow the angels to guide
Through the mist.

Look back, if only
For reference
Allow each word to evolve
Into sentence.

If you remember
Try not to forget
Who you were
Before

Stop, just stop for a moment
Breathe deep.

The demons inside refuse to sleep
They crawl and twist
Amongst **** and sweat and ****
They scream with white knuckle fist

I try to slumber within the thunder
Of bellows just beneathe my skin
So wide awake, I stay and wish
That they cease the crawl and twist

Eventually they calm and tire
Rest in the coals of once raging fire
Only to awake before my eyes open
Whispering promises of future desire

I drown their screams however I can
Inhale the poison, ingest the pain
Unbeknownst to me, this is how they feed
So, now, I fall to a knee

From open blue, from somewhere new
There she is, she is you

A calm spreads across the field
A faint light shines from behind open eyes
I haven't heard the demons roar
In a week, maybe more

Conversation, erratic but true
Honesty brutal, at least it's the truth
An emotion from nowhere
I let it settle right here

The demons, they sleep
Starved from the toxins they need
A sudden desire to light the internal fire
Just for the warmth, just for me

I will travel to her
I will hold her in my arms
I will kiss her as I gaze inside
I will watch her demons run and hide

And I will say
Stop
Just for a moment
Breathe deep.

The silence sneaks back in
Amongst the noise
The chaos.

Shivers in the heat
Don't bother to sleep
Nor weep.

Miss past ghosts
Beautiful kin
Don't fit in.

A fools muse
Poked bruise
Broken truths.

Calm the shakes
Misinterpretation
Misled adoration.

Poisons seep deep
Wolves creep
Hoard just to keep.

Single entity
Breaks the mould
As it was foretold.

Cram the love
Into hollow bones
Shoes and stones.

It will all make sense
When nothing makes sense
Just let the silence
Sneak back in.

Forever in love
With the dream
Of forevermore
In love

In you I see
A place to sleep
Safe and secure
Safe and assured

I speak heart truths
To you
And you
You know

It's just for you.

My collection of masks
All set aside
With you
By my side

Finally
This poor old soul
Can stop searching

Forevermore.

Happiness is a lie,

The pursuit is in vain
As the world has been constructed
To give nothing but pain.

Your friends will depart
They will move away
And all you will have left
Is your disinterested family.

Everyone will be too busy
To come to your wedding
To come to your birthday
To come to your funeral.

You will finish school
Work until you're insane
Retire and wonder
What the **** happened.

You will despise your partner
Never get laid
Even a simple conversation
Will be like pulling teeth.

The money you make
Will never be enough
One day, you'll awake in your bed
With nothing.

There is no point.

Your spark will fade
Your drive will dissolve
And your stupid life story
Will never be told.

Maybe it's just me
Maybe I'm just being negative
Or maybe, just maybe
I'm ******* right.

Good luck.

You'll need it.