kromwellfarkus

kromwellfarkus Apr 2020

When u feel it
U fukn feel it
Candy caught in my eyes
Rainbows entangles in my ****

When its deep
It cuts deep
Removing logical thought
Removing sleep

Cant quite compute.

Give urself a second
To think
U cant
Cos it's deep

Tangled flow
But u know
U fukn know
Cos the rainbows in ur ****

And candy in ur eyes.

kromwellfarkus Apr 2020

Lawless

From everyday, endless and boundless,
To nothing.

I chose this.

It kills me,
To be unable to love
Her.

I wait, for a sign
But, she has so much respect
And so do I.

I want to reconnect
But the flame will reignite
And we will get burnt.

Maybe, it's not our time
Maybe, our time is to come
Maybe we missed our chance.

Maybe, it was my big fat stupid fault.

Trapped by my own decisions
To do the "right" thing
I will break every heart I love
If I manifest this.

I am unsure
What hurts more
The fact I can't love her
Or the silence.

I chose this.

kromwellfarkus Apr 2020

dad n kids

One day you'll understand
Why I am the way I am
How I came to be this man
One day you'll understand.

Dad comes home and cooks our tea
Still in his work clothes
He stinks of effort
Cigarettes and beer

He doesn't kiss Mum anymore
He doesn't eat with us anymore
He does the dishes
And he sings to himself

Then he just disappears
Out to his shed
We see him, from the house
Sitting and smoking and drinking.

I hear them from here
The arguments and the laughter
The conversation and cursing
I hear them from here

This poor loveless man
Perched alone in his shed
Fighting demons on his own
Fighting demons in his head.

We say goodnight from the back door
We just yell it out
He screams back that he loves us
And to sleep well

He doesn't know of our problems
He doesn't care for our pain
He is the ghost that covers all the bills
He is a broken man, my Dad.

I wish I had the strength
To be what they require
But, the love is gone
And so have I.

One day you'll understand
How I came to be this man
One day you'll understand
Why I am the way I am.

kromwellfarkus Apr 2020

Pass the light

Stop, just stop for a moment
Breathe deep.

The demons inside refuse to sleep
They crawl and twist
Amongst **** and sweat and ****
They scream with white knuckle fist

I try to slumber within the thunder
Of bellows just beneathe my skin
So wide awake, I stay and wish
That they cease the crawl and twist

Eventually they calm and tire
Rest in the coals of once raging fire
Only to awake before my eyes open
Whispering promises of future desire

I drown their screams however I can
Inhale the poison, ingest the pain
Unbeknownst to me, this is how they feed
So, now, I fall to a knee

From open blue, from somewhere new
There she is, she is you

A calm spreads across the field
A faint light shines from behind open eyes
I haven't heard the demons roar
In a week, maybe more

Conversation, erratic but true
Honesty brutal, at least it's the truth
An emotion from nowhere
I let it settle right here

The demons, they sleep
Starved from the toxins they need
A sudden desire to light the internal fire
Just for the warmth, just for me

I will travel to her
I will hold her in my arms
I will kiss her as I gaze inside
I will watch her demons run and hide

And I will say
Stop
Just for a moment
Breathe deep.

kromwellfarkus Mar 2020

Me lad

Me lad.
He's 14.
And, hes been in ****
At school.

Now, we have his back
And all that.
He's my boy
Me lad.

It has come to light
At such recent time
That his forgery skills
Have been paying his bills
To freedom.

"Uncle Matt"
Has a note for you teacher.

You must do
What Uncle Matt wrote.

As per Uncle Matts last note,
Here is another,
Signed...

Uncle Matt.

The signature said
Uncle (fukn) Matt.

They accepted this
And off he went
To where ever he desired...

Good ol Uncle Matt.

Me lad,
He's 14.
And he's playing the fools
For the fools they are.

We had a meeting.

Me, the missus and me lad,
It didn't turn out too bad
But, then it did
And we had to take a step back.

Me ol mate.
Me lad.
He's got demons in his head,
That I can't slay...

Cos he's in his room most of the time,
Figuring out his identity.

So, from outside looking in,
I just let him breathe...

Cos he's me lad
An I'm his Dad.

kromwellfarkus Mar 2020

The kid's ok

Exhausted
Disgusted
Muddle-headed
Betrayed

My own blood
Taints my perspective
Of how it is
To be young and free

Love is unconditional
But I am exhausted
In trying to love
A fiend

This is my responsibility
But I am disgusted
In the behavior displayed
And the actions portrayed

I have more than one priority
But, I am so muddle-headed
Dreams and reals, haters and feels
All mix into colossal confusion

I will always have your back
But I have been betrayed
By your actions verses what you've said
It's hard to love with a head full of regret

It's not too much
But it is
Please, please just be good
I can't take too much more

When all is done and said
I will crawl back to my shed
**** the memories with new dreams
On a hammock, on a beach, in my head.

kromwellfarkus Feb 2020

Before the storm

Happy birthday kid
You made it this far
May as well keep on goin
Cos time aint slowin

The years seem faster
And the months fly by
A second seems shorter
Than the blink of an eye

Before I kick off
With the festivities and such
Just know, I have always
Given a ****

This is the calm
Before the storm
I won't be home
Until the morn

Keep a light on
So I know where to stagger
10th birthday of a 40 year old man
But, that doesn't matter.

May the hangover be kind
And the drugs be pure
May my friends all get along
You *****.

Before the night of my 40th...