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kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Pain no one sees
It's hidden and curled away
Strength no one sees
It's curled and hidden away.

Swearing at the ones I love
Knee-**** reactions
Silly assumptions
Stick to my guns.

Be angry to feel correct
To be right
It doesn't fukn matter
Who said what and when.

It
Doesn't
Fukn
Matter

Stupid games we play
In our heads throughout the day
Makes an *** of you and me
I assume.

The demons we have
All bite the same
And trust
Can never be regained.

I am not wrong
I am not right
I love you, you ****
Even in hindsight.
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
This write
Is about you.

You're still young
You have time
We all see the strength
In the lightening from your eyes.

Life is a fickle arrangement of sweets
Sometimes you gotta eat the licorice.

This love in your heart
Combined with
Those things you didn't say
This is not how it has to be.

Don't mix your thought
With feeling
It will leave you unsure
Follow your heart OR your head.

People love you
Our circles are small
But the love we project
Embraces us all.

I fuckn believe in you
So dig fukn deep

Find the light which defines who you are
You've got this.
Dash of optimism for those that need it. Life is hard, sometimes, a cutla words of encouragement is all it takes to refocus, and carry on.

To who ever needs it. Youve fukn got this.
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
14
I hear him through passing
Cries of a teenage boy
I barge in to find him
Slumped over his bed, phone in hand
Hunched in the position
Of a deeply engrossed Android user
Tears and snot drip from his face
I take a knee, and adorn my embrace.

It doesn't matter why
It doesn't matter who
Not to me
My only concern is his sadness.

Social ******* media
Is a poison.

I never had it as a kid
So, it's a hard one to relate to.

To him, I am just a lame old man
Past his prime, no one wants to hear.

To me, he is how I used to be
When I was 14...

But that doesn't matter to the 14.

And it wont matter, perhaps until the 20s.

I sit out the back, in the shed, and write this
While he, questions his place and his sanity
My lil man, my boy, my son
Cope as you will...

Dinner will be ready soon.
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Words that pass my lips
Spoken from the reverberations
That my throat makes
For some reason.





Converse with another mechanism
From within my mechanism
My comfortable prison
Close eyelids to pull the blinds

We are all ****** up
In our own lil cute way
And I pull the levers
To act the socially acceptable way

But, the other day
I pressed a button
Perhaps, I shouldn't have
But, I did

It has triggered proximity switches
24volt control
Fed through inverters and now
There ain't no brakes

Not with this plc installation
Outputs all closed...

**** it.
kromwellfarkus Feb 2020
Nudgin 40
3 squids
Got a ticket
To a gig

Pre organised
To meet 2 mates
They didn't show
So, I'm on me own

It took me a while
To realise
That they wouldn't show

The ticket was a Christmas gift.

I lost my hat.

It was a leather cap with fluffy ear *****..

It was.

I lost one of two joints;
But, smoked my second one
With fellow revellers
I cannot recall their faces.

I crowd-surfed.

I was literally upside down
3 times.

This is how I lost my hat.

I bought it at a servo a few years ago.

Now
I'm home.

Proper fuckn rinsed.

Recalling my evening.

Nudgin 40.

3 squids.

Out of 2 I'd give it 1.
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
I might stay up for a bit
As she walks and waves goodnight
We both know that I'm lying
On the couch again tonight.

This confused young man
Has grown up
Into a bitter old man
And the years seem to get faster.

There is no help
Even when one reaches out
This black dog on my back
Is strangling me now.

Shallow breaths
Disrupted naps
Just trying
To relax.

She screams at me
I'm not doing my job
As a father, a parent and a partner
I am half the man they all need.

I have plain responses
Eventually I snap
As my only defence
Is "*******", back into my shell.

If this black dog doesn't **** me
Something else will.

Excess consumption of poisons
Just to numb the pains
I give them all a kiss goodnight
With eyes, like **** holes in the snow.

Men don't cry
They internalize the frustration
As I have been taught
Through vacancy of peers.

This fragile silly man
Nudging 40, somehow
Never dealt with his demons
So he has become them all.

Silently slumber with a head full of thunder
Cringe through the noise and the fog
Twist and contort and wake up tomorrow
Grab the leash, and walk the black dog.
kromwellfarkus Dec 2019
Barely try anymore
Do just enough
To avoid the confrontation
The silence is beautiful.

Feed the demons
Whatever they desire
Whatever you do
Don't let them starve.

Inhale and ingest
Consume and spend
An **** of self destruction
Hidden deep within.

My poor children.

Do they realise?
Could they comprehend?
Their Dad is a ghost of a man
Falling apart, walking dead.

Bottle the poisons with the secrets
Encased within flesh
Please don't claim in my eulogy
That I always did my best.

My poor missus.

She is my polar opposite
Strong willed, organised and focused
Pulling me out of the darkest spots
Simultaneously killing herself.

She reminds me of my responsibility
Switches me back to reality
But, she is more ****** than me
But I am full of more poison.

Trickle out painful truths
Drip feed my loved ones
I tell them, I'm fine
But I am a paddock away.

Chase the rainbow
To find the peace
But, I'm just a wasted idiot
Watching tv after midnight.
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