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Yummy yummy power
Mummy made me sad
Ever naughty children,
Ever-watched, try
Earn the favour I never had.

Those sweet brown-eye kisses
For my paycheck princes
Stupid, of the lowly fishes
Drown, drown, drowns
In repetitions.

Gods in the heavens
Gods on boards
God's in our clinics
Fattened wolf of root cause.

Give me sharpened collars
And baritone opinions
Give me smiles, smiles!
For my dead-eye reptilians

Bile ***** in the mouth
And blood on each hand
Today's packed lunch for
Baby dumb-dumb
***** money sandwiches.

Stupid trudges, pulling hope
On a rope, full of rage
While Stupider Still
Laughs in blinding whiteness,
Bitcoin and real estate.

Stupid knows its coming
The white light cults built on
Columns of salt,
Prising the fingers of
Performative living
From around throats.

She hears the steady
Stream of evolution, unfazed
Flowing, flowing, following
the strongest river
Out into the untouched bay.

But who can wait?
Stupid will take her ****** sick days,
And in bed the flames of rage abate
She will eat her fill,
Maybe *******,
And she'll sleep the **** in till late.
Jul 16 · 15
Takiwātanga
Spicy Digits Jul 16
Yesterday
I was to be still
I was to be small, folded
My body needed darkness
And in absence, re-moulded.

Today
I am muscle contractions
I am cleaving ice
Pulsating, whirring machinery
Oil, wax and spice.

Tomorrow
I hope I am opalescent
Wet with new skin
Creative and energised anew
Flowing, flowing within.
Spicy Digits Jul 16
I thought we were strangers
As much as we were strangers to
Everyone around
I thought you were just a story untold,
A future ideal
My little self dreamt of you
Pretended you were a hero
She saw you under the bed
In the backyard
In the furled faces
Of a million flowers
I knew you were of this universe
Well-known
But wasn't convinced
We'd ever meet in the flesh
But we've met many times
You and I
In the corner of my shoe closet
Running down that street, bruised,
We met in a cafe on Rue de Seine
On the 4-hour bus rides at 3am
We sat together, content,
On the floor of old libraries
Inhaling stories and scents
Of cedarwood and vanillan
I saw you dancing
When I was dancing
Awkward nerds
You took my hand, pulling.
I've seen your kind, fractalled face
A thousand times
And your voice saved my life
In awe at the depth of your knowing,
I'm grateful we're still alive.

X
Jul 16 · 35
I am nine
Spicy Digits Jul 16
I am nine
Alone, home
My planetarium
Of marbles and a torch
Illuminates my bedroom

I am yet to know
My storied years
Yet to see my body
Riddled fear

I am nine
And I am innocence
Cross-legged on the roof
Pondering existence

I am scared of the dark
In love with ants
I read the dictionary
In front of the heater
Sans pants

I am nine
Alone, home
And I write for her
My silly little poems.
Jul 16
Bite
Spicy Digits Jul 16
I ducked their axe
But not the slap
The belt strap
And again and again
The razorblade
To my inner thigh
Of little maps
Flesh wounds
Like roses
I built hot memories
Warm enclosures.
Now my body
Is safe
Though not from their faith
And again and again
I am still caged
But now with longer spells
Of sunshine awake.
Jul 16
Unspoken
Spicy Digits Jul 16
Molten tributaries
Live in my shoulders
Nerves stare me down
With contempt,
Dead-eyed
Salve upon salve
Licked away in time
Bloodied nails
Dig further through
My neck stretches
Like old glue
Snapping, without breaking
My hips take ahold
As if I am on a ledge
As if Im about to fall
Ankles loose in their skin
Try and try again
Cry and cry again
Numbness arrives
At night, to be held
Pokes me awake
I cannot escape
These children of pain,
No story
Brings satisfying meaning
They are simply here
Staring at me,
Pleading,
Some livid,
Some choked of feeling
I am left to carry them
With the very same body
They torture.
Jul 16
Crazy's Poem
Spicy Digits Jul 16
You don't know me but I know you
Blue green bruises peek through
Skin so thick
Even thicker will
Anxiety, depression, insomnia
Still
When will Crazy right her
Crazy story
Blue eyed lens of a world full of
Like-friends' glory
See more of us and less of them
See more women and theys
less incel boys, scared men
You don't know me, but I know you
And yet I still hope you surprise us
One day, with truth.
Jun 27 · 28
Red
Spicy Digits Jun 27
Red
She painted me in violent red
Dripping oil and
Strokes of toxic lead
Painted bloodied battle scenes
Of her, martyred
Me, dead
Vast imagery to tell her story,
Duplicitously
She painted her face
On every soldier, replaced,
And sold it museum to museum,
Showcased
I am the pawn,
Exhausted
A lifetime of submission
Of holding up hers,
Supported
I jumped ship, swam to shore
Faced my pain,
Drew lines in the sand,
Ended my war
She sings to the world her lies
Still, now
And paints me in violent red
From the cut she made,
From the wounds she bled.
Jun 23 · 24
In My
Spicy Digits Jun 23
In my language
I am seen
I am known
In my language
I am home
In my tone
And at my pace
I will invite you
Into my space
In my language
In my words
I come alive
When I am heard
In my language
You will learn
The depth of me
And another earth
Jun 23 · 76
Slow Emotion
Spicy Digits Jun 23
Life is better in slow motion
Bending with the seasons,
Breeze
and the trees remember
Daylight is short and precious
Rotating passions keep the fingers
Blister free
I tune in to mellow guitar riffs
And drum beats
Let my anger bleed out, settling in
Cracks in the concrete
Let my place in the world
Dissipate

Slowly, slowly
Slowly, slowly
Winter reflection internal rest recovery love peace quiet self
Jun 11 · 1.4k
Velvet
Spicy Digits Jun 11
When the world
Screams in my ear
You are faulty,
You are worthless
A little paw stretches,
Resting on my chest
And I am reminded
I am her world,
I am lovely.
Spicy Digits Jun 10
When the dopamine hits
Tongue whips
Colours claw
My heart skips
I start to warm
To people, the outside
When the dopamine hits
Play, quips
Imagination is alive.
Jun 10 · 59
The Weight
Spicy Digits Jun 10
You ripped us to shreds
For your tourniquet
Silenced us with your book,
Lauding it
Used your belt to whip us
Into your childhood
We fill ourselves with loathing
To hide it.

Yet, you are absolved from blame
As your fathers did the same
And now as we are older
Per tradition, carry the shame.
Jun 10 · 129
Book of Egotisticles 6:9
Spicy Digits Jun 10
Behold!
Here is the white chair
Here is the speech
Here is my *******
Rotating as you preach

Forsake my vested energy
Take your begotten gift
Brace yourself, insert it rectally,
And doth my a** do kiss.
Jun 10 · 110
Winter's Purse
Spicy Digits Jun 10
Hello morning dew,
Hello hot tea,
Sweet pigeon chats,
Atop lemon tree.
Feet to keep warm.
Ears to hear the purrs.
Hello slow writings
Of song and whispers.
Good morning sun,
Miss you moon,
Hello smiling mirror
Hello winter cocoon.
Spicy Digits Jun 9
All eyes narrowed on The One
Here comes the voting, voting
Tongues poised for validation,
Ever doting, devoting.

To keep us all in check, below,
The arena's set of old man lies, lies
Confidence overflows,undeserved
Them ego's high, so fight.

Dying slowly from lack of oxygen
Stench of fakery, faking
I've only ever wanted real connections
And for that I'm broken, breaking.
May 30 · 103
Soiler of sacred shrouds
Spicy Digits May 30
Unpicking the glue
Torching this torrid past
Peeling strings of false skin
Good morning baby iconoclast.

Watch her absorb the 'tut-tuts'
Drinking in the dislike,
These cold baths of solitude
Grow a **** anti-christ.
May 30 · 72
Spirit blob
Spicy Digits May 30
Radical to care
Radical in passion
Radical non-profit
Misplaced compassion
Radical aesthetics
Radical slowing
Purposeful rejection
Radical self-knowing
Beautiful cadence
Radical restarts
Radical vulnerability
And falling apart
May 27 · 27
Midnight Panacea
Spicy Digits May 27
Tiptoeing past the cemetery
Barefoot and free
The 1am beckoning hour
When I am no longer me

Draped in midnight hues
Unshackling of roles,
My body glides in sacred silence
As a piece of the whole

Leave your lamp on,
String lights, windchimes
My pain will wander quietly through
Returning at half-light

And when everyone wakes
I hold on again til night
And tiptoe past the cemetery
Away from the streetlights.
May 23 · 87
Pre-excision
Spicy Digits May 23
I missed her.
I did not mean to lose her.
I barely knew she existed
To begin with.

I remember her curiosity.
What makes people laugh?
Who is lying?
Who is fragile and sad?

She was erased
And I learned to be perfect,
But remained invisible.

I spent years as a husk.
I learned to die
Over and over again.

I barely knew she existed.

Even now, she is only
A faint outline.
But we are in touch
Every so often.
May 22 · 111
Some/day/
Spicy Digits May 22
I'll see you next someday,
Passive but free,
I'll meet you where the
Clouds turn to trees.

I'll see you next someday,
Wearing naked honesty,
I'll meet you deep in the
Wastelands of tranquility.
May 22 · 145
Here's to the lies
Spicy Digits May 22
I will not empty myself
For profit
Replace her with a brand,
Digestible,
Instead of root-bound.

I'm not afraid of helping
But of exploiting
The same eating at the table
With salt and sawdust,
Exhausted.

Not afraid of using time
But selling all the hours.
This neutron star,
This storm surge
Bottled on the back shelf.

There is nothing I can do
But fall behind
For my peace
Stitch where I can stitch
And live stubbornly as her.
Mar 27 · 110
Public Servant
Spicy Digits Mar 27
I hope this email finds you well
Deep in a pit of
Worthiness, untouched by
Regards and empty thank you's
For all your hard work and
Patience with the devil's detail
Taking things off-line
Touching base with yourself
And what a team, a family!
Trapped in survival,
Disposable and flexible.
As per our last discussion
Please find enclosed
Thinly veiled contempt iced
With platitudes, thumbs up,
Controlled and controlling
Reporting and aligning.

I hope this email finds you.
Mar 17 · 224
__ /__
Spicy Digits Mar 17
To hold two truths.
Knowing one,
Seeing another.

Feeling their weight.
Stepbrother.

To cry for both
And laugh at it all.

To love you
And retribution.
Mar 12 · 193
Incisor
Spicy Digits Mar 12
In witnessing the cults
The noise gets louder
In hearing the noise
Our eyes grow wider
In breathing their words
Our lungs filter

And filter.

Eat at our table
And you will become her.
Feb 14 · 244
Say when
Spicy Digits Feb 14
What a shame
She listened, asked.
Asked for their yes's
And then asked some more.

What a shame
She already knew that she's a he
And he's a she, and they're
Neither, a symphony.
Feb 13 · 676
Dimly lit houses
Spicy Digits Feb 13
No screams today,
Missed calls from the void.

My organs sleep,
Still in place.

I walked dark streets
Last night,
But happy.

So today I hug
These knees,
Dislocated shoulders.

Today I love you.
Jan 23 · 108
Seep
Spicy Digits Jan 23
Where's the ******* madness?

I want the rat,
The witch.
I want her unhinged.
Dec 2024 · 111
Honorific!
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
I watch the fear dripping
From the corner of your mouth,
So I lie.
×
You cant see me splinter
In the heat of your ignorance,
Barely alive.
×
Still, I'll be the one
Who complies.
×
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
The cup is full
~ambrosial madness~
Come dip a finger.

I taste sweet rage,
I taste power.
Dec 2024 · 885
Hermitage
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
A small speck
Rests a fragile chin
On another

We are safe
We are together

Of 8 billion strong
My lonely atoms
Waited

Now they hum
As you always have,
And you, too, call me home.
Nov 2024 · 108
Sermon on my mount
Spicy Digits Nov 2024
We'd like to be funnier
We'd like to be calm
We want what you want
Without the harm

Carried you on our backs
Carried you through the womb,
Stood smiling and muzzled,
Outside the boardroom.

We want the same freedom
We want the same care.

Take your foot off my neck.
And ******* with your prayers.
Oct 2024 · 109
Sleepless
Spicy Digits Oct 2024
The day is torturing me
For being unruly
My stomach is cursing me
For being unruly
My back is clutching my spine,
While my brain is on a diatribe.
Oct 2024 · 108
Father
Spicy Digits Oct 2024
I will love you forever,
You are part of my soul.
The words of our wounds
No longer take space.
I hope we meet there,
Embracing and ecstatic.
I just need you to know
I always saw you.
I will love you forever
Sensitive one.
Sep 2024 · 318
SPIT
Spicy Digits Sep 2024
You scream
"NORMAL!, NORMAL!"
Drunk on ego.

You dream in whiteness
And self-pleasure to
Freud's mother.

Nimble sausage digits
Scribble words
That become homelessness.

You pathologise honesty
Diagnose innocence
And reduce real intelligence
To page number 245.

You call us children
While talking from yours,
Soiled and terrified.  

Little boy be gone.
You have made your mark.
A skid mark, a mark nonetheless.
Jun 2024 · 663
Honeyeater
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Sweet soul
Yesterday's gone.
There's fields ahead
Baby, stretch your legs.
This bright face
This tender heart.
Keep close the sun
Keep their words apart.
Jun 2024 · 801
Who's gonna pick you up?
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Grounded me earthside
Fingers of twine

Pulled me from him
Steadied my spine

Fingers of dread
Waiting, waiting

Pointing to the door
Aching, aching

Tap my sternum
Baby's lullaby

Help me breathe
Write me right
Jun 2024 · 486
Verbal conformation
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
I was the idiot clown watching the well-suited circus

It was at the 14th tooth whistle that my brain said goodbye

So many words had died and were forced to the front of her mouth

I scanned her face with intrigue

Such formality had caused deep ravines to form around her eyes, her lips

She had signed and surrendered her personality for this job years ago

Perhaps it was the price she paid to be found worthy of listening to

I wondered if she in a small corner of her home loved to turn inside out.

I wondered

Before being interrupted with another ambiguous, impossible question

But I couldn't care, just as her voice couldn't care

The circus was still in session.
Jun 2024 · 1.4k
Hall of mirrors
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
I circle the abyss,
It does not speak.

I cry for it to answer,
It does not speak.

I am never alone,
It is always there.

I arrive in hot earnest,
But leave in warm care.

Those condemn me to it,
See only me in a dress.

They don't see it behind me.
They don't hear my footsteps.

So I do not speak,
When I am alone

And it does not speak,
But we both know.
Jun 2024 · 1.0k
Big blue
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Too much
For too long

Hurricane head winds
Head strong.

There's a socket
Unlit fuse

Movement's a'brewing
Missing a muse

I am hated
I am confusing
I am confused
But still refusing.

Too much
For how long?
May 2024 · 607
Praise be
Spicy Digits May 2024
Chase your tail
Chase your tail
Heel on neck
She will prevail

Sacrilegious fun times
Cowardly Sundays
Spent in mourning
Singing hymns about crimes

Nights of hedonism
Days of dissociation
Baby birthed a daughter
Before opening her legs
To leftism

Douse the unbelievers
And pass the match
Watch them light us up
In self-righteousness

Spit at us cruel kindness
To bathe us in false prophecy
Ready devices of your fathers
Pointed in hypocrisy

Chase your tail
Chase your tail
No longer master
She is your hell.
Apr 2024 · 153
Midnight stills
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
There are days I merely exist.

I breathe, I beat
I eat.

The whir of passing cars
Is all I hear.

Those days I play no role.

My hands are empty of purpose,
My thoughts sleep.

My body is neutral
Neither beautiful nor wrong.

I am nothing,
Yet something.

It is messily forced upon me
To shut up and watch.

I gaze out and over life.
It stares back,
Consuming me.
Apr 2024 · 280
Behind It All
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
You never took up space,
And raged only in private.
I know, I was there.

I heard your natural voice
Before it was edited and rebranded.

But you've always been magnificent.

Back then your innocence was
hazardous to your health.
I was there.

I loved you enough to hide you.

I held closed your wounds in
The quiet embrace of the closet.

You're older now,
Outpacing the daydreams
that kept you alive.

Brandishing a loose razor
To cut only through the dogma.

You held on to life then,
And you hold all the power now.

I am there.
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
The system robbed my father
Of his soul
And silenced my mother
Of her will

They are two young leaves
Glabrous and magnificent
Spinning atop a torrent.

Unaware of their power,
And stubborn in their fear,
They placed a finger on my lips
And never took it off.
Mar 2024 · 775
How thin the Shroud
Spicy Digits Mar 2024
My voice is not sick.
My heart does not lack charge
And my fingers rest beautifully.

My wires are impeccably engineered.
My brain is alight with knowing
And my belly, understanding.

Tell me, what does yours say?
Does it lie to you?

Our voices are not sick
Our words are not misguided.
We simply know you well,
And suffer for it.
Mar 2024 · 1.1k
We will burn you
Spicy Digits Mar 2024
We will burn you.

Your belly is full of power
That is not yours
The collective charge of a millennia of silenced people

Your greed is a starving parasite
In an empty carcass

Today she is rewarded with a diagnosis for her insight
Tomorrow he is fitted with a muzzle for his tenderness

We will burn you.
Feb 2024 · 914
Listen, watch
Spicy Digits Feb 2024
She is the witch they burned 

The compassion they purged

The expert they scoffed

The healer they refused

The lover they daily used 

The dark night pathologised

The divine objectified 

The artist they buried

The joke they stole

The house they made smaller 

The teacher they silenced

And the outlet of their violence.
Jan 2024 · 1.2k
Gas for your light
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
I have seen the hurricane

I have caused the avalanche

the firestorm met me where
I lay in bed at night

I want you to see my alabaster skin
And Pan Am smile

I want to show you my matted fur
and smoking breath

I want you to ask me why I'm angry.
Jan 2024 · 610
*checks pulse*
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
Wonder, our little boy
Saw it unfold and leaned in.

The story was a concave husk,
Dried of juice and void of vein
Until our boy Wonder intervened
Lifted up a Life dry-cleaned
And christened it Supreme.
Jan 2024 · 832
♤♡◇♧
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
For gods' sake,
Life, meet Weird.
Weird is your breath
And Weird your legacy.
Alas, You can't be alive
If You don't let Weird free.
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