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4h · 29
Velvet
When the world
Screams in my ear
You are faulty,
You are worthless
A little paw stretches,
Resting on my chest
And I am reminded
I am her world,
I am lovely.
When the dopamine hits
My tongue whips
Colours claw
My heart skips
I start to warm
To people, the outside
When the dopamine hits
Play, quips
Imagination is alive.
1d · 25
The Weight
You ripped us to shreds
For your tourniquet
Silenced us with your book,
Lauding it
Used your belt to whip us
Into your childhood
We fill ourselves with loathing
To hide it.

Yet you are absolved from blame
As your fathers did the same
And as we are older, aflame,
Per tradition, carry the shame.
Behold!
Here is the white chair
Here is the speech
Here is my *******
Rotating as you preach

Forsake my vested energy
Take your begotten gift
Brace yourself, insert it rectally,
And doth my **** do kiss.
Hello morning dew,
Hello hot tea,
Sweet pigeon chats,
Atop lemon tree.
Feet to keep warm.
Ears to hear the purrs.
Hello slow writings
Of song and whispers.
Good morning sun,
Miss you moon,
Hello smiling mirror
Hello winter cocoon.
All eyes narrowed on The One
Here comes the voting, voting
Tongues poised for validation,
Ever doting, devoting.

To keep us all in check, below,
The arena's set of old man lies, lies
Confidence overflows,undeserved
Them ego's high, so fight.

Dying slowly from lack of oxygen
Stench of fakery, faking
I've only ever wanted real connections
And for that I'm broken, breaking.
Spicy Digits May 30
Unpicking the glue
Torching this torrid past
Peeling strings of false skin
Good morning baby iconoclast.

Watch her absorb the 'tut-tuts'
Drinking in the dislike,
These cold baths of solitude
Grow a **** anti-christ.
May 30 · 30
Spirit blob
Spicy Digits May 30
Radical to care
Radical in passion
Radical non-profit
Misplaced compassion
Radical aesthetics
Radical slowing
Purposeful rejection
Radical self-knowing
Beautiful cadence
Radical restarts
Radical for existing?
Radical, my ****.
May 27 · 27
Midnight Panacea
Spicy Digits May 27
Tiptoeing past the cemetery
Barefoot and free
The 1am beckoning hour
When I am no longer me

Draped in midnight hues
Unshackling of roles,
My body glides in sacred silence
As a piece of the whole

Leave your lamp on,
String lights, windchimes
My pain will wander quietly through
Returning at half-light

And when everyone wakes
I hold on again til night
And tiptoe past the cemetery
Away from the streetlights.
May 23 · 39
Pre-excision
Spicy Digits May 23
I missed her.
I did not mean to lose her.
I barely knew she existed
To begin with.

I remember her curiosity.
What makes people laugh?
Who is lying?
Who is fragile and sad?

She was erased
And I learned to be perfect,
But remained invisible.

I spent years as a husk.
I learned to die
Over and over again.

I barely knew she existed.

Even now, she is only
A faint outline.
But we are in touch
Every so often.
May 22 · 67
Some/day/
Spicy Digits May 22
I'll see you next someday,
Passive but free,
I'll meet you where the
Clouds turn to trees.

I'll see you next someday,
Wearing naked honesty,
I'll meet you deep in the
Wastelands of tranquility.
May 22 · 95
Here's to the lies
Spicy Digits May 22
I will not empty myself
For profit
Replace her with a brand,
Digestible,
Instead of root-bound.

I'm not afraid of helping
But of exploiting
The same eating at the table
With salt and sawdust,
Exhausted.

Not afraid of using time
But selling all the hours.
This neutron star,
This storm surge
Bottled on the back shelf.

There is nothing I can do
But fall behind
For my peace
Stitch where I can stitch
And live stubbornly as her.
Mar 27 · 83
Public Servant
Spicy Digits Mar 27
I hope this email finds you well
Deep in a pit of
Worthiness, untouched by
Regards and empty thank you's
For all your hard work and
Patience with the devil's detail
Taking things off-line
Touching base with yourself
And what a team, a family!
Trapped in survival,
Disposable and flexible.
As per our last discussion
Please find enclosed
Thinly veiled contempt iced
With platitudes, thumbs up,
Controlled and controlling
Reporting and aligning.

I hope this email finds you.
Mar 17 · 191
__ /__
Spicy Digits Mar 17
To hold two truths.
Knowing one,
Seeing another.

Feeling their weight.
Stepbrother.

To cry for both
And laugh at it all.

To love you
And retribution.
Mar 12 · 154
Incisor
Spicy Digits Mar 12
In witnessing the cults
The noise gets louder
In hearing the noise
Our eyes grow wider
In breathing their words
Our lungs filter

And filter.

Eat at our table
And you will become her.
Feb 14 · 205
Say when
Spicy Digits Feb 14
What a shame
She listened, asked.
Asked for their yes's
And then asked some more.

What a shame
She already knew that she's a he
And he's a she, and they're
Neither, a symphony.
Feb 13 · 676
Dimly lit houses
Spicy Digits Feb 13
No screams today,
Missed calls from the void.

My organs sleep,
Still in place.

I walked dark streets
Last night,
But happy.

So today I hug
These knees,
Dislocated shoulders.

Today I love you.
Jan 23 · 79
Seep
Spicy Digits Jan 23
Where's the ******* madness?

I want the rat,
The witch.
I want her unhinged.
Dec 2024 · 78
Honorific!
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
I watch the fear dripping
From the corner of your mouth,
So I lie.
×
You cant see me splinter
In the heat of your ignorance,
Barely alive.
×
Still, I'll be the one
Who complies.
×
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
The cup is full
~ambrosial madness~
Come dip a finger.

I taste sweet rage,
I taste power.
Dec 2024 · 837
Hermitage
Spicy Digits Dec 2024
A small speck
Rests a fragile chin
On another

We are safe
We are together

Of 8 billion strong
My lonely atoms
Waited

Now they hum
As you always have,
And you, too, call me home.
Nov 2024 · 81
Sermon on my mount
Spicy Digits Nov 2024
We'd like to be funnier
We'd like to be calm
We want what you want
Without the harm

Carried you on our backs
Carried you through the womb,
Stood smiling and muzzled,
Outside the boardroom.

We want the same freedom
We want the same care.

Take your foot off my neck.
And ******* with your prayers.
Oct 2024 · 85
Sleepless
Spicy Digits Oct 2024
The day is torturing me
For being unruly
My stomach is cursing me
For being unruly
My back is clutching my spine,
While my brain is on a diatribe.
Oct 2024 · 79
Father
Spicy Digits Oct 2024
I will love you forever,
You are part of my soul.
The words of our wounds
No longer take space.
I hope we meet there,
Embracing and ecstatic.
I just need you to know
I always saw you.
I will love you forever
Sensitive one.
Sep 2024 · 280
SPIT
Spicy Digits Sep 2024
You scream
"NORMAL!, NORMAL!"
Drunk on ego.

You dream in whiteness
And self-pleasure to
Freud's mother.

Nimble sausage digits
Scribble words
That become homelessness.

You pathologise honesty
Diagnose innocence
And reduce real intelligence
To page number 245.

You call us children
While talking from yours,
Soiled and terrified.  

Little boy be gone.
You have made your mark.
A skid mark, a mark nonetheless.
Jun 2024 · 621
Honeyeater
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Sweet soul
Yesterday's gone.
There's fields ahead
Baby, stretch your legs.
This bright face
This tender heart.
Keep close the sun
Keep their words apart.
Jun 2024 · 769
Who's gonna pick you up?
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Grounded me earthside
Fingers of twine

Pulled me from him
Steadied my spine

Fingers of dread
Waiting, waiting

Pointing to the door
Aching, aching

Tap my sternum
Baby's lullaby

Help me breathe
Write me right
Jun 2024 · 438
Verbal conformation
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
I was the idiot clown watching the well-suited circus

It was at the 14th tooth whistle that my brain said goodbye

So many words had died and were forced to the front of her mouth

I scanned her face with intrigue

Such formality had caused deep ravines to form around her eyes, her lips

She had signed and surrendered her personality for this job years ago

Perhaps it was the price she paid to be found worthy of listening to

I wondered if she in a small corner of her home loved to turn inside out.

I wondered

Before being interrupted with another ambiguous, impossible question

But I couldn't care, just as her voice couldn't care

The circus was still in session.
Jun 2024 · 1.4k
Your hall, my mirrors
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
I circle the abyss,
It does not speak.

I cry for it to answer,
It does not speak.

I am never alone,
It is always there.

I arrive in hot earnest,
But leave in warm care.

Those condemn me to it,
See only me in a dress.

They don't see it behind me.
They don't hear my footsteps.

So I do not speak,
When I am alone

And it does not speak,
But we both know.
Jun 2024 · 966
Big blue
Spicy Digits Jun 2024
Too much
For too long

Hurricane head winds
Head strong.

There's a socket
Unlit fuse

Movement's a'brewing
Missing a muse

I am hated
I am confusing
I am confused
But still refusing.

Too much
For how long?
May 2024 · 571
Praise be
Spicy Digits May 2024
Chase your tail
Chase your tail
Heel on neck
She will prevail

Sacrilegious fun times
Cowardly Sundays
Spent in mourning
Singing hymns about crimes

Nights of hedonism
Days of dissociation
Baby birthed a daughter
Before opening her legs
To leftism

Douse the unbelievers
And pass the match
Watch them light us up
In self-righteousness

Spit at us cruel kindness
To bathe us in false prophecy
Ready devices of your fathers
Pointed in hypocrisy

Chase your tail
Chase your tail
No longer master
She is your hell.
Apr 2024 · 131
Midnight stills
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
There are days I merely exist.

I breathe, I beat
I eat.

The whir of passing cars
Is all I hear.

Those days I play no role.

My hands are empty of purpose,
My thoughts sleep.

My body is neutral
Neither beautiful nor wrong.

I am nothing,
Yet something.

It is messily forced upon me
To shut up and watch.

I gaze out and over life.
It stares back,
Consuming me.
Apr 2024 · 53
Behind It All
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
You never took up space,
And raged only in private.
I know, I was there.

I heard your natural voice
Before it was edited and rebranded.

But you've always been magnificent.

Back then your innocence was
hazardous to your health.
I was there.

I loved you enough to hide you.

I held closed your wounds in
The quiet embrace of the closet.

You're older now,
Outpacing the daydreams
that kept you alive.

Brandishing a loose razor
To cut only through the dogma.

You held on to life then,
And you hold all the power now.

I am there.
Spicy Digits Apr 2024
The system robbed my father
Of his soul
And silenced my mother
Of her will

They are two young leaves
Glabrous and magnificent
Spinning atop a torrent.

Unaware of their power,
And stubborn in their fear,
They placed a finger on my lips
And never took it off.
Mar 2024 · 728
How thin the Shroud
Spicy Digits Mar 2024
My voice is not sick.
My heart does not lack charge
And my fingers rest beautifully.

My wires are impeccably engineered.
My brain is alight with knowing
And my belly, understanding.

Tell me, what does yours say?
Does it lie to you?

Our voices are not sick
Our words are not misguided.
We simply know you well,
And suffer for it.
Mar 2024 · 1.0k
We will burn you
Spicy Digits Mar 2024
We will burn you.

Your belly is full of power
That is not yours
The collective charge of a millennia of silenced people

Your greed is a starving parasite
In an empty carcass

Today she is rewarded with a diagnosis for her insight
Tomorrow he is fitted with a muzzle for his tenderness

We will burn you.
Feb 2024 · 859
Listen, watch
Spicy Digits Feb 2024
She is the witch they burned 

The compassion they purged

The expert they scoffed

The healer they refused

The lover they daily used 

The dark night pathologised

The divine objectified 

The artist they buried

The joke they stole

The house they made smaller 

The teacher they silenced

And the outlet of their violence.
Jan 2024 · 1.1k
Gas for your light
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
I have seen the hurricane

I have caused the avalanche

the firestorm met me where
I lay in bed at night

I want you to see my alabaster skin
And Pan Am smile

I want to show you my matted fur
and smoking breath

I want you to ask me why I'm angry.
Jan 2024 · 560
*checks pulse*
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
Wonder, our little boy
Saw it unfold and leaned in.

The story was a concave husk,
Dried of juice and void of vein
Until our boy Wonder intervened
Lifted up a Life dry-cleaned
And christened it Supreme.
Jan 2024 · 782
♤♡◇♧
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
For gods' sake,
Life, meet Weird.
Weird is your breath
And Weird your legacy.
Alas, You can't be alive
If You don't let Weird free.
Jan 2024 · 1.1k
You're my sun, Moon
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
Never a purer love
Stretches herself around my neck
A bliss-filled trill before
Curling against my side

The love we all dream of
Wakes me up each morning
To the tenderness of the present

This is a higher being.
And she is spending this life with me.
Jan 2024 · 635
Chapter Summary
Spicy Digits Jan 2024
I was born into dogma
And raised in decay

I leapt at death to save me
But caught my body just in time
To see myself divine.
Oct 2023 · 1.2k
Breathless
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
No-one tells you how big a wall
there is to climb
To demolish
the rotting family home,
Where they fearfully remain.

To them you are the wolf.
Always.
Oct 2023 · 406
Just calm down
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
White notions of superiority
Blessed under white lights
Souls sold
Between punched holes
Ring binders brim-full
***** overfills
Scripted words
Meals of rotten platitudes.

Here is my grateful smile
Here is my pleated skirt
Here is my servitude
#work #equality #life #society
Oct 2023 · 1.1k
See you in the aether-life
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
I can't save you

Don't save me

Your beliefs erode my DNA

I love you but I bleed

I will find God elsewhere

I bet She is waiting for me there.
#religion #fear #conditionallove #life #bigotry #unaware #cult
Oct 2023 · 1.5k
Chapter 6: An uprising
Spicy Digits Oct 2023
I could be your darkness manifest
And the first tidal wave.

If you mock my peace
I will, with mastery,  
Strip sinew after sinew.

But bare me your honest wounds
And I will create a universe
From my lips,
And from my hips.

I was born into dogma
And raised in decay
I leapt at death to save me
But caught my body just in time
To see myself divine.
#beauty #nature #human #alive #life #acceptance #intensity #sensitivity #power
Sep 2023 · 558
In your resplendence
Spicy Digits Sep 2023
What right do you have to lie there so beautiful,
So far away?

I am bathed in the shadow of your gaze as I write this,
And trying to follow the map of grief drawn, to meet you.

Transport me, my glimmer, to your dissociative place.
We'll sit there in silence.
#love #glimmer #innersanctum
Sep 2023 · 1.3k
Phoibos
Spicy Digits Sep 2023
I am going to pluck that illuminated corner of the night sky
and graft it to my palm.
I am sorry, precious sky, that we have been so distant
for so long.
Aug 2021 · 2.0k
FWD: RE: RE: RE: ATTN
Spicy Digits Aug 2021
I want to touch your base,
I want to touch base.
Now we're gonna circle back
To our circle ****.
Feel the warmth of my regards
Deep in your archive folders.
Savour the tingling of my best wishes,
Between your table of contents.
I want to touch your base,
I want to touch base.
Aug 2021 · 2.8k
Listen here baby droll
Spicy Digits Aug 2021
Loosen your

Chains,
Brains,
*****,

Your vowels
And your bowels
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