Yummy yummy power
Mummy made me sad
Ever naughty children,
Ever-watched, try
Earn the favour I never had.

Those sweet brown-eye kisses
For my paycheck princes
Stupid, of the lowly fishes
Drown, drown, drowns
In repetitions.

Gods in the heavens
Gods on boards
God's in our clinics
Fattened wolf of root cause.

Give me sharpened collars
And baritone opinions
Give me smiles, smiles!
For my dead-eye reptilians

Bile ***** in the mouth
And blood on each hand
Today's packed lunch for
Baby dumb-dumb
***** money sandwiches.

Stupid trudges, pulling hope
On a rope, full of rage
While Stupider Still
Laughs in blinding whiteness,
Bitcoin and real estate.

Stupid knows its coming
The white light cults built on
Columns of salt,
Prising the fingers of
Performative living
From around throats.

She hears the steady
Stream of evolution, unfazed
Flowing, flowing, following
the strongest river
Out into the untouched bay.

But who can wait?
Stupid will take her ****** sick days,
And in bed the flames of rage abate
She will eat her fill,
Maybe *******,
And she'll sleep the **** in till late.

I am nine
Alone, home
My planetarium
Of marbles and a torch
Illuminates my bedroom

I am yet to know
My storied years
Yet to see my body
Riddled fear

I am nine
And I am innocence
Cross-legged on the roof
Pondering existence

I am scared of the dark
In love with ants
I read the dictionary
In front of the heater
Sans pants

I am nine
Alone, home
And I write for her
My silly little poems.

In my language
I am seen
I am known
In my language
I am home
In my tone
And at my pace
I will invite you
Into my space
In my language
In my words
I come alive
When I am heard
In my language
You will learn
The depth of me
And another earth

When the world
Screams in my ear
You are faulty,
You are worthless
A little paw stretches,
Resting on my chest
And I am reminded
I am her world,
I am lovely.

When the dopamine hits
Tongue whips
Colours claw
My heart skips
I start to warm
To people, the outside
When the dopamine hits
Play, quips
Imagination is alive.

Hello morning dew,
Hello hot tea,
Sweet pigeon chats,
Atop lemon tree.
Feet to keep warm.
Ears to hear the purrs.
Hello slow writings
Of song and whispers.
Good morning sun,
Miss you moon,
Hello smiling mirror
Hello winter cocoon.

Radical to care
Radical in passion
Radical non-profit
Misplaced compassion
Radical aesthetics
Radical slowing
Purposeful rejection
Radical self-knowing
Beautiful cadence
Radical restarts
Radical vulnerability
And falling apart

I missed her.
I did not mean to lose her.
I barely knew she existed
To begin with.

I remember her curiosity.
What makes people laugh?
Who is lying?
Who is fragile and sad?

She was erased
And I learned to be perfect,
But remained invisible.

I spent years as a husk.
I learned to die
Over and over again.

I barely knew she existed.

Even now, she is only
A faint outline.
But we are in touch
Every so often.

To hold two truths.
Knowing one,
Seeing another.

Feeling their weight.
Stepbrother.

To cry for both
And laugh at it all.

To love you
And retribution.

In witnessing the cults
The noise gets louder
In hearing the noise
Our eyes grow wider
In breathing their words
Our lungs filter

And filter.

Eat at our table
And you will become her.

What a shame
She listened, asked.
Asked for their yes's
And then asked some more.

What a shame
She already knew that she's a he
And he's a she, and they're
Neither, a symphony.

Where's the ******* madness?

I want the rat,
The witch.
I want her unhinged.

I watch the fear dripping
From the corner of your mouth,
So I lie.
×
You cant see me splinter
In the heat of your ignorance,
Barely alive.
×
Still, I'll be the one
Who complies.
×

A small speck
Rests a fragile chin
On another

We are safe
We are together

Of 8 billion strong
My lonely atoms
Waited

Now they hum
As you always have,
And you, too, call me home.

I will love you forever,
You are part of my soul.
The words of our wounds
No longer take space.
I hope we meet there,
Embracing and ecstatic.
I just need you to know
I always saw you.
I will love you forever
Sensitive one.

You scream
"NORMAL!, NORMAL!"
Drunk on ego.

You dream in whiteness
And self-pleasure to
Freud's mother.

Nimble sausage digits
Scribble words
That become homelessness.

You pathologise honesty
Diagnose innocence
And reduce real intelligence
To page number 245.

You call us children
While talking from yours,
Soiled and terrified.  

Little boy be gone.
You have made your mark.
A skid mark, a mark nonetheless.

Sweet soul
Yesterday's gone.
There's fields ahead
Baby, stretch your legs.
This bright face
This tender heart.
Keep close the sun
Keep their words apart.

Grounded me earthside
Fingers of twine

Pulled me from him
Steadied my spine

Fingers of dread
Waiting, waiting

Pointing to the door
Aching, aching

Tap my sternum
Baby's lullaby

Help me breathe
Write me right

I was the idiot clown watching the well-suited circus

It was at the 14th tooth whistle that my brain said goodbye

So many words had died and were forced to the front of her mouth

I scanned her face with intrigue

Such formality had caused deep ravines to form around her eyes, her lips

She had signed and surrendered her personality for this job years ago

Perhaps it was the price she paid to be found worthy of listening to

I wondered if she in a small corner of her home loved to turn inside out.

I wondered

Before being interrupted with another ambiguous, impossible question

But I couldn't care, just as her voice couldn't care

The circus was still in session.

I circle the abyss,
It does not speak.

I cry for it to answer,
It does not speak.

I am never alone,
It is always there.

I arrive in hot earnest,
But leave in warm care.

Those condemn me to it,
See only me in a dress.

They don't see it behind me.
They don't hear my footsteps.

So I do not speak,
When I am alone

And it does not speak,
But we both know.

Too much
For too long

Hurricane head winds
Head strong.

There's a socket
Unlit fuse

Movement's a'brewing
Missing a muse

I am hated
I am confusing
I am confused
But still refusing.

Too much
For how long?

Chase your tail
Chase your tail
Heel on neck
She will prevail

Sacrilegious fun times
Cowardly Sundays
Spent in mourning
Singing hymns about crimes

Nights of hedonism
Days of dissociation
Baby birthed a daughter
Before opening her legs
To leftism

Douse the unbelievers
And pass the match
Watch them light us up
In self-righteousness

Spit at us cruel kindness
To bathe us in false prophecy
Ready devices of your fathers
Pointed in hypocrisy

Chase your tail
Chase your tail
No longer master
She is your hell.

There are days I merely exist.

I breathe, I beat
I eat.

The whir of passing cars
Is all I hear.

Those days I play no role.

My hands are empty of purpose,
My thoughts sleep.

My body is neutral
Neither beautiful nor wrong.

I am nothing,
Yet something.

It is messily forced upon me
To shut up and watch.

I gaze out and over life.
It stares back,
Consuming me.

You never took up space,
And raged only in private.
I know, I was there.

I heard your natural voice
Before it was edited and rebranded.

But you've always been magnificent.

Back then your innocence was
hazardous to your health.
I was there.

I loved you enough to hide you.

I held closed your wounds in
The quiet embrace of the closet.

You're older now,
Outpacing the daydreams
that kept you alive.

Brandishing a loose razor
To cut only through the dogma.

You held on to life then,
And you hold all the power now.

I am there.

She is the witch they burned 

The compassion they purged

The expert they scoffed

The healer they refused

The lover they daily used 

The dark night pathologised

The divine objectified 

The artist they buried

The joke they stole

The house they made smaller 

The teacher they silenced

And the outlet of their violence.

I have seen the hurricane

I have caused the avalanche

the firestorm met me where
I lay in bed at night

I want you to see my alabaster skin
And Pan Am smile

I want to show you my matted fur
and smoking breath

I want you to ask me why I'm angry.