falling deep
into calm

where waters
sit still

and wait
to be tasted

the flavor
of flowers

rose petals
that float

and move
quietly

to the rhythm
of the ripples

caused by
a lover’s

whisper

smaller than
an orange

I lifted her
and saw her

bruises and scars

she was not
perfect

but I took her
home anyway

she was
so sweet

I am long legs and big feet.

She is lady-like,
legs crossed
and curled
under a skirt,
under a swing.

I push her away from me
knowing she will return.

I watch loose black strands
escape from the butterfly clip
and dance
ritualistically
across her neck,
frenzied and forbidden.

When she is alone
her eyes cry
but she doesn’t

yet know why.

My body is mechanical
like this swing
her body is natural
like the wind.

I can hear them calling my name
the older boys
the men
for softball softball
church softball

but I ignore them.

I can’t touch her yet
but I can talk to her
like I am.

asking questions
of power

stirring things up
making others

answer for actions

not saying what is
right or wrong

that is for others
to decide

just asking the questions

because honesty has
straight answers

it is clear water

it cannot be shaken
or stirred

and I drove by
the place that
scared me

the house was gone
but the space
was still there

it never stops

now that people
are paid so much

to do it

I want to turn
it off

but I don’t

it feeds my mind
it diseases my mind

it doesn’t make
me think

it doesn’t give me
space to think

it stops me from
thinking

it makes me drink

no one knows
the future

but we all talk
like we do

not the news
people

the art band
from the last

century

make me think
make me dance

at the same time
is that legal

in this century
is it the same

as it ever was

we must experiment

spend a lifetime
searching for a truth

even if it is small
and adds little
to the grand scheme

we must experiment

spend a lifetime
to see

if we truly belong
to each other

they were
captured
together

pulled from
their tight
space

small bolts
of energy

linked by
mystery but

trapped in
separate cages

speaking
in songs

of longing
for each other

I listen to them
when I want to cry

you painted
on my skin

permanently

the image
of being lost

a tree without
roots

tossed by the
wind

looking for a
home

a place to be safe

it was an
image of me

then and now

how did
you know

as you have grown
you have grown on me

accepted all the
sticks and stones

and the hurt
hurled at you

and remained strong
or grew stronger

I can feel it
in your sounds

I can hear it
in your words

true beauty bends
but doesn’t break

and maybe someday
I will shake it off

like you

all night
I am awake

it is raining hard

trying to get through
my windows

I hear her voice

a scream from
the distant

calling calling
to me

her soul is aching
chasing salvation

but it is a rabbit
in an open field

more quick than fast
it teases her
into believing

she is eternal

I was the one
always on
the verge

of something

sitting on a
teeter totter

never scared
enough to run

never brave
enough to jump

never one to believe
never one to be trusted

we have stopped
our motion

only doing those
few little things

the absolutely
necessaries

leaving all the
things we used

to do undone

and when we no
longer isolate

how many things
will linger

how many problems
will not get solved

in time

how many things
that would have been

small will now
grow larger

it was a month ago
I saw you

face to face

the day you ate
a cheesesteak

with onions

I remember
your breath

time doesn’t fly
but it does progress

memories fade
but they don’t
disappear

I hope

I am alone
in this house

and the walls
haven’t moved

yet

I am not hearing
voices not even

my own

maybe I should
get a pet

speak my words

out loud
touch your lips

how do they
feel when they

leave you
are you gasping

for breath

is your mind
spinning

searching for space
speak my words

out loud

are you telling
your secrets

there is this tree
something mystical
and magical
filled with
thick thorns
hanging off
the branches
are yellow
sun-like bulbs
looking so delightful
and delicious
creating the beginning
of a fairy tale
protecting the entrance
to another world
I dream that one day
I will brave
the thorns and
eat the fruit
to enter this
magical world
and live to tell
my tale

her body is
a rubber band

stretched beyond

her voice is
a snake

quietly

biting my lips
injecting

poison into
my veins

paralyzing me

I cannot speak
she has made me

so I do not want
anymore

I only need more

I am tender
to the touch

a fruit fallen
from a tree

bruising easily

you want to
cut out my

damaged parts
and discard them

believing enough
will remain to

satisfy you
but you don’t

know me
the damage runs

deeper than you
can see

I am tender
to the core

if I let go
I will fall

and no one
I know is

strong enough
to catch me

she knows

in a way that
is not normal

she devours
everything

she is not
gluttonous

most of it
is useless

so as she
processes

she discards them

and only keeps
what she needs

to create
her own

universe
that she

shares with
others in

the most
creative ways

there have been
moments
when I felt myself
complete

every cell
of body and soul
integrated
alive and
thriving

a universe
inside a universe
giving birth
to another universe

sensitive
to the fluttering
of air
the movement of
butterflies
from anywhere and
everywhere
electrifying my skin

penetrating
making me

come out of
my skin

emerging

with wings
white and thick

a soul aged not old

I have had moments
like this

they always start
when I stand on a cliff

and lift my arms to fly
and I jump

believing I can fly
or someone will catch me

she bends like
a young branch

or a flowing river
there is no resistance

in her
when I see her

magical movements

I think we
need to create

a different name
for her body

and declare her
the new truth

and create a
place like her

where we
can all fit in

the sun laughed
when I asked

to be set free

so I concocted
a potion

creating a powder
and blew it

into the air
it spread like

an ocean of dandelions

creating massive clouds
that never moved

caging the bright beast

freeing me from
the heat that

pained me

everything was near
or distant

everything was clear
or nonexistent

we shook hands
we hugged
we kissed

we waited for
our mail

electrons were
young and

misunderstood

I remember the
first day we

played pong
everything changed

that day

I was there for

the birth of
the universe

the passionate
kiss of chemicals

the chaos becoming

the morphing into each other
then into something else

still existing as themselves

at the same time being
part of something bigger

than themselves

purpose exists
inside and outside

of everything
and everyone

her body
is a formula

a mathematical
recipe for

perfection
and control

each muscle

has a voice
in a chorus

singing hymns
declaring devotion

to her gift

I feel religious
when I watch

her dance

she plays
with so

many things
a skinny

beautiful
creature

with a first
class

mind and
imagination

a puppet
master

creating
sights and

sounds
we follow

to our death
if we have to

but I don’t think
that is where

she leads us

when they see him
they say he reads hungry

he is so wild
pure abandon

crushing all obstacles
in his path

he is looking for raw meat
he wants the blood dripping

down his chest

he wants only tough words
to chew on

only they can nourish him
only they can satisfy his

hunger

soon there will be leaves
growing everywhere
hiding the desperate beauty
of these raw emotions
the crisscrossing chaos
the aching naked
vulnerability
of exposing more
of themselves
during the coldest months
I feel alive
when I walk
amongst them
they speak to me
they speak for me
outwardly I will
enjoy the leaves
but inside I will be
waiting for them to fall

our pants rolled up

bare feet dangling
in a cold lake

touch each other
a little at first

blood flows and
goose pimples grow

each foot has a mind
of its own

slow dancing beneath
the surface

whispering to each other

“the longer we stay
the warmer we get”

I think we
speak too much

or maybe just
too fast

there is no space
for listening

we hear our
own thoughts

a billion bees
buzzing in

our ears

I think we
speak too much

there is no space
for understanding

to form

do I laugh
enough

I think it is harder

to laugh
at this
distance

laughter is
itself

a virus
we share

with each
other

can one
virus ****

another

it is harder
to laugh

at this distance

yes it was
when I first
saw you that I
realized that
words have limits
that all that
I mastered
would never be
enough to say
what I feel
that there is
a place in me
that cannot be
reached and
because of you
I have to admit
it exists
no matter
how much it
pains me

I wake in a
feather bed

a song on
my lips

I spread
my wings

and fly

feeling
the air

as if it
is new

I feel clean
and I know

all is forgiven

I was afraid
of this life

the next step
is off the cliff

I don’t know
where it leads

or if I will land

we don’t all
survive long

enough to
become more

than we were
given

to become all
that we could

have been

I was afraid
of this life

I always wanted
another

her angelic
demon eyes

see into the
darkness

anything that
moves is hers

with her claws
she scratches

her tag
leaving her

marks in the
deepest parts

of me

she is the true
soul of a cat

she dares me
to domesticate her

as she purrs
in my ear

I was the sun god
the radiance
the dance of dust
they said don’t look
directly at me
I will burn your eyes
they said don’t name me
I will burn your soul
you were the brave one
never one to believe
the words of the ancients
you entered my realm naked
green eyes wide open
ready for whatever came
you looked right at me
called me love
and now you stand
next to me
and they tell the next
generation to never
look directly at them

they say the vortex
is splitting again
the gaping hole
releasing some of its
coldest air
to fly south
for the winter
I hope it is not
like that other year
where its sub zero
breath hovers over us
for months
and the wind
cuts our exposed skin
but we don’t bleed
until we get back inside

in the corner
legs crossed

hands folded
head bowed

avoiding eyes

she thinks she
does not exist

she thinks she is
not noticed

but she does not
know her power

the potential she
can never allow

herself to see

the way she
holds the world

together with
her quiet ways

the place I
dream of

belonging

a battle between
dark and light

people with weight
trying to

become enlightened

music with meaning
creates a background

where everything aches

voices dance and
bodies bend

chaos is choreographed
and life and death

tell their own stories
immortality stays young

by feeding on
generations of

disillusioned youth
even the sun has

dark spots that
can’t be explained

There are things that I see
that are bigger than me,
blades that resist being clipped
and stroke
the stalks of
sunflower
bursts.

Cattails that appear
as if antennae
for something buried
deeper than death.

There are things I don’t see

but can hear whisper,
as I hear a clock
winding down,
before time stops.

The wonder of it all
does not escape me.

early evening
darkness descends
in clouds
a lightning flash
a thunder crack
a window open
curtains move
is that the
sound of breath
or the wind
is that a touch
or a breeze
I shiver
and try to
keep still

red lights
frame her

s-shaped
body

she leans
against

the wall

eyes closed
she inhales

deeply as
the ashes

grow beyond
reason

smoke
is a snake

dance

she smiles
feeling relieved

we follow the wet
into the wilderness

we collect raindrops
on our tongues

and hold them
as long as we can

we savor nature
she is our mother

we dip our heads
in cold water streams

and wait until
we can’t breathe

we love the color blue

the simple truth.  escapes me.  I see so much more.  but more is not.  always better.  more becomes fog.  more is a distraction.  more helps us avoid.  a simple truth.

small angels.  use less air.  small angels.  take up less space.  that is.  a simple truth.

I am a balloon.  floating.  a child reaches.  for my string.  but I am lighter.  than air.  and just out of reach.  as I rise.  I can see more.  and more.  so many things.   that were big.  seem so small.  so many things.  that were small.  are now out of reach.

I hold a spider.  in my hand.  cover it.  with the other.  it is my secret.  it moves.  hairs tickle my skin.  I want to move.  open my hands.  reveal the spider.

we want to share.  our secrets.  that is.  a simple truth.

if we are open

each day is
a new world

nothing is
predictable

everything is
discoverable

waiting for
our experiments

to tease out
their little secrets

that make us
giggle with

surprise

if we are
not careful

we close our minds

so we only
see what

we saw

love is a dagger
with one clean edge

entering smooth
and with charm

it quickly makes
itself at home

becoming part
of me

growing in me
living off me

love is a dagger
with one jagged edge

and when it leaves
it rips me apart

taking more
than it gives

my insides
spilling outside

and I’m eaten
over and over

by

the appetite
of the ravens

love is a dagger
teaching me

everything has
two edges

I asked the mountain to dance with me
let the wind guide our movements
perhaps the birds will sing for us
so we can feel the music
come alive inside each other
you are ancient and wise
have seen it all from
your great heights
I am a new life
small yes and have seen nothing
but I have this unbounded energy
perhaps you can teach me balance
and I can teach you imbalance
as we learn to move together
to create a better world

I felt you
urgently

like a siren
going off

inside of me
something

clinging
desperately

our souls
entangled

telling each
other

a story that
doesn’t want

to end

and on those
nights

the waters grow
still and

there is no flow
all thoughts

become one
and they

don’t spread
they burrow

toward the
bottom

where the
dark creatures

swim

I could drown
it would be

so easy