as a candle in the rain
and the smoky vapor hung
leaving shards of purple pain

Your light blew out
as a broken bulb
flickering
a fish out of water
thrashing about
till it wears itself out

Your light blew out
and darkness crept in
a shadow on the wall
flat as a silhouette
breaking out in a frothy sweat

like an acorn
from the old oak – kerplop
in a shower of nuts
I couldn’t stop

I fell
as a bowling pin
hard and straight down
with my head spinning round
and around

I fell
from the sky
like a lightning rod
and split a tree
as I hit sod

I fell
in a second
like the second hand
on a clock
racing at top speed
just like a ****

a crystal beach
of snow-white sand
and turquoise sea
so, within my reach
a violet starfish in my hand
til the day you ran

I thought you were
an azure sky
of marmalade dancing butterflies
till the day you lied

I thought you were
a lullaby
soft on the eyes
lulling me in reverie
on feathered twilight wings
how could I tell
the heartache you’d bring

I thought you were
the golden sun
a blooming garden
I was young
but as I leaned in for a kiss
darkness fell like an eclipse

her hazel eyes
beneath the mascara lies
a pool of brine
enough to pickle a memory
to dine on past reverie

Underneath
her golden locks
beneath the curls
lies a wily old fox
that hunts with a trotting gait
and dangles smiles as her bait

Underneath
her puffy blouse
is a woman that lives to grouse
about all she can't rearrange
and a life that sees little change

a diamond
was only dust
what once shined bright
turned into rust

What looked like
a prince
was just a frog
I wasn't kissed
I was repeatedly flogged

What looked like
a home
was a house of cards
that collapsed in a breeze
and stuck me with shards

What looked like
a rainbow
in red, green, and gold
was a broken kaleidoscope
that some old man sold

when the stars fall
from the sky
and it snows smoky ashes
as the char catches
on those lashes
I’ll summon the wind
in billowing gusts
to blow off the dust

I’ll be there
when everyone disappears
and every day is like a year
marching on as a soldier
I’ll lend you my shoulder

I’ll be there
when the weight of this world
makes you crumble
like plaster on the wall
after an earthquake
as everything starts to fall
I’ll catch the pieces in my hand
as they land

as red lipstick on fat cheeks
it’d run down my face in streaks
and leak into a puddle on the floor
I’d mop it up, so it’d be no more

I'd like to wipe it clean
as chalk on the blackboard
my eraser as my sword
and be rid of every word

I’d like to wipe it clean
as a stain on my blouse
I’d douse it in laundry detergent
till the spot came off in the wash
and be rid of the big thick blotch

I'd like to wipe it clean
as the tide rolling in
knocking the sandcastle down    
as a bowling pin to the ground

a heart.
You have a pit.
Underneath that skin
a stone sits.

You don’t have
eyes.
You have dented slits,
that isn't fit
to let in the light,
not even a bit.

You don’t have
hands.
You have hard leather mitts,
catching fly *****
that are aggressively hit.

You don't have
a voice.
You part those lips
and all that falls out
is copious spit.

a tortoiseshell.
But not a living thing
does dwell.

He’s harder than
a tall brick wall.
But not a crack
for an ant to crawl.

He's harder than
a steel locked cage,
throwing woman into
his blind rage.

He’s harder than
a concrete slab.
His heart’s manufactured
in a lab.

as autumn leaves
breaking off from the trees
snared in a breeze
carried in a billowing wind
not to attach again

You pulled away
as light from the day
when storm clouds turn to grey
dusk hovering like a hummingbird
and all my dreams deferred

You pulled away
as a crusty scab on a scar
shrinking my life
as a smoked cigar
all turned to flaking ash
scattered in a blinding flash

in pieces, you shatter
as brains splattered from
the shot of a gun. Your insides
spill out like a puzzle, in red

blue, and yellow. You lay in
your waste as a baby in a day-old
diaper. Crawling out your head
a two-foot viper. Your limbs

unhitched, when only before they
held on by a stitch. Your eyes rolled
back. But the whites are not white. They're
stained satin black. And none of

the king's horses or the king's
men can put back your pieces together
again.

isn’t so nice. Pull out
a block/stack it on top
so many men pulling
my pieces now and again
leaving me with empty slots
but none fill the holes
and so, the pile grows
till I implode

of hollow bodies with no souls
heartless men in mocked-up roles
It’s hard to take a cleansing breath
the fact of this life's death
of war, surfeit, and poverty
sickness and countries under seize
polluted beaches and acid rain
every day is filled with pain
closed minds and deaf ears
blind eyes and lost tears
hands clenched in rageful fists
drug dealers and slashed wrists
underage *** and violence
cut my tongue
have me silenced
but I can't face another day
swimming in this sea of pain

beneath the Earth
in a fiery pit
with lapping flames
brains and spit
crawling with blood-
******* leaches
it’s at the office
and on the beaches

Hell isn’t
a red-caped devil
with pointed ears
popping blood vessels
he wears jeans
and drives a car
you see at the local bar

Hell isn’t
after death
as you take a last
drawn breath
it’s day after day
getting up
going to work
getting paid

as the sky wept
stood deadpan
wouldn't call you a man
so nonplussed; it disgusts

You stood by
as the walls broke
not a word spoke
not a hand reaching out
as the pieces shattered
You let them scatter

You stood by
as a heart atrophied
with only apathy
melting in the snow
You stomped
a blooming rose
thorns pointing out
silky petals froze

as an egg on toast
in hot water
and then boast
to anyone that listens
till the skin on you is red
and glistens

I’m going to drop you
as a water balloon
out a hundred story building
at noon
so, the ground men will
see you splatter
as cake batter

I’m going to drop you
deep into the Atlantic Ocean
in cement shoes
in slow motion
pictures of you tacked
to the back of streetlights
heading "missing man"
then ride off in my van

on the mountain
high above the plain
on the rooftops
sunshine or in rain

I’m going to do me
in a forest
full of trees and birds
in the lines, I put out
see people eat their words

I’m going to do me
with or without you
not in mediocrity
but in neon blue

I'm going to do me
as I'm old and grey
till all the bombs are dropped
this life doesn't stand
another living day

as the cold, wet snow.
As the wind I must blow this leaf
to places even brief, I’d travel.
Don't walk on me; I'm not gravel.

Don’t cover me
as an orange peel,
holding me in my juice.
I must let loose.
And rip through the sky
as a long-necked goose.

Don’t cover me
in layers of blubber.
I’ll bounce back
I'm round rubber.
I won't wade in the muck.
Not again ladened down
and moonstruck.

again! I won’t have to
pull my ragged self out, cause I’ll

never put myself in. I won’t
have to pick my splintered parts up,

cause I won’t let myself
down. I won’t have the

pounding pain of the lows, cause I
won’t have the highs. And

I won't have the gut-wrenching
life from a callous goodbye.

let it rest.
Let the chickadee
fly the nest.

When it’s over
don’t resurrect.
As a mirror
just reflect.

When it’s over
don’t protest.
Don’t stick out like
Dolly Parton’s *******.

wears ties and suits
flowing skirts
and high-heeled boots

A monster
sits in swivel leather chairs
writes detailed reports
and takes the stairs

A monster
daily punches the clock
drinks their coffee
and makes small talk

A monster
smiles bright
destroying lives
sleeping sound
without contrite

A monster
doesn't live under your bed
in the closet
or in your head

as a scarlet letter
big and bright
on my low-cut sweater.

I wear the pain
as a banana peel
skidding across
the street
in stiletto heels.

I wear the pain
as a lumberjack
wielding a long-
winded ax.

I wear the pain
as a blinding torch
scorching the ground
I walk around.

is a desert
an arid wasteland
of tumbleweeds
rolling in the ***** breeze

My loneliness
is an abyss
a bottomless chasm
of pain and sarcasm

My loneliness
is a venomous snake
that lays in the grass
and waits

My loneliness
is hell
a fiery pit
of beggars and spit

My loneliness
is a friend
that smiles at me
and upends

big as a mansion
and has the expansion
of a forest of trees

Some days the pain is
thick as molasses
and quickly passes
all through me

Some days the pain is
sharp as a knife
cutting my life
in half

Some days the pain is
dogged
and I'm rotted
as a decomposing body

the green ground is
sky. I’m down in
the sewers,
the bowels of life,

a hole the rats
run rampant. Here I camp and
walk in the dank. The stench is
alarming in this waste-filled

tank. I haven’t seen
light after I fell in. I couldn’t tell
you exactly when. But I slipped
in like a mickey drink. At first

I'm flushed by this kink. The pain is
familiar. But I, bigger this
round. Too big for man to pull me
out of myself. So, I drowned.

salted with crimson tears
that rolled so low
their feet stuck to my hair

turning black
from ear to ear
I’ll not have back
this lost year

Now I caw
from dusk till dawn
this has gnawed
the man I spawned

thinner than a wafer
I’ve not felt safer
since the incident
I'm bent as a crowbar
and just as hard

if
her blouse is low
her dress too high
her pants are red and too tight
lips are loose
they don't like her hips
as she moves

her make-ups too bright
her nails too dark
she wears her hair tall
without a part
her height’s too short
but they all stare
as she walks through the square

her voice is loud
her touch immense
can’t you see
she makes them all too tense

her flesh is too soft
and it hangs
they don't like her wavy bangs
her head hard
everything she does is not right

she's left with herself
they don't like
how she lives her life
but she carries it off
without airs or loft

and saw
the grass
turned to straw
the sunshine sky
to acid rain
all the branches
pointed to me
with their stubby arms
and nubby twigs of tweed
every robin flown
the crimson leaves
have blown
the air
cold as a refrigerator
bit me hard
as an alligator
I put my foot
down in a puddle
stuck as a marshmallow
on a stick
the mud deep
and twice as thick
my heart dropped
as a hailstone
shattered
as a splintered bone
my head scrambled
as an egg
and I beg this pain
to leave
I look in
to see a soldier made of tin

You were a shiny apple
with emerald leaves and golden
stems. Hanging on the tree for all
the world to see. You fell into

my arms, from a gusty
breeze. But as I sunk my teeth into you,
I felt something squirm. I realized
this apple is filled with crawling

worms. Poking their heads into
the flesh, making holes. Digging
tunnels darker than my soles. I grew
sick upon every bite. So sick my skin

turned yellow. My touch
as ice. I melted like a popsicle turning
into cider. Now men drink me up
with a plate of cheesy sliders.

knife
and cut you
out of my life.

I’m gonna get the biggest    
gun
you can’t
outrun

I’m gonna get the biggest
box
padlock the past  
and throw it in the ocean

I’m gonna get the biggest
lipstick
red and thick
paint a smile
from ear to ear
while I stand and cheer

I’m gonna get the biggest
torch
and burn this bridge
with no remorse.

I’m gonna get the biggest
Buick
and drive on out
I’m gonna do it!!

Fallen
as the leaves in winter,
splintered. Shaken
like a pair of dice. Sprouting till

a cold snap
cloaked me in a sheet
of ice. Trampled on. Covered
over like a yawn. When did I become

cut-out like a silhouette? A drag
on some man’s cigarette? When did life
beat down on me like a drum? My tears
have bled. My head is numb. Just a shadow

on the glass. And they say, “this shall pass”?!
But every day passes just the same,
a blank canvas nailed to a wooden frame.

detached

              and floating
More to me
than the tip. I can
rip you apart.
You say
I’m small. But
under
it all,
I’m a mountain.

the wind
it blows in gusts
and picks up dust,
turns over trees
swirling leaves
flying debris

You cannot silence
the robin
he sings his song
all morning strong
at the top of the crest
throwing out his red breast

You cannot silence
thunder
the raucous clap
cuts the sky in half
with a lightening
zapping sting

You cannot silence
Injustice
the bells of freedom ring
over borders and seas
and so as with me
I won't leave quietly

in a forest of trees. So, I don’t
have to stand straight and tall.  I can
catch a breeze, hear the nightingale
call. Floating in the air wearing gold

and red. Coasting on the water
in a wavy riverbed. Drifting in
the sun, lying on the grass. Bouncing
as the toads pass out from under

a log. The nutty smell of acorns
and the thunderous paws of dogs. I don’t
cling to the trees anymore. I was slow
to let go. But now I can soar.

over the mountains
into the sea. Some men
are broken in quarters
and halves. I’m smashed

like a bat swung
to glass. Shattered to
smithereens. My pieces
are pasted in ***** men's

dreams. The little fragments
reflect light if I hold them
at an angle just right. Some
take off like fireflies, shining

in the night sky. All this dross
like dust in the air made it
by seeds I planted with flare. Every
piece broken off grew from the loss

into a garden bed. Flowered
from the toss and rooted with
spares.

out there that can
catch a butterfly before
her colors melt in
the razor hot sky?
Before they bleed
in the sun? And forever
stain the rye?

Is there anyone
that’ll listen to
the rantings of
a cockatoo before
she chokes on her stew?

Is there anyone
that’ll uncover a rose
beneath the April snow
before a man crushes
it again so, it doesn't have
space to grow?

Hello’s Pain

A beginning has to
end. When you leave
my friend, as you turn, I split
in half. I mask the pain

in a laugh. This heart is
broken. For every word said
a dozen not spoken. I fail over
and over. Some things for me

haven't closure. This I picked up
from mama -
Every life has some drama.
I'm walking through a stage

carrying my props. Weeping
in the backdrop as the players
pass. I stand to drain.
Goodbye’s pain.

shaped to hold
the pain in me. It's cold
and hot from one day to
the next the color

I spot on this skin. Some days
I'm dripping yellow. I'm Jell-O-
and wiggle and wobble
within. Some days I’m tripping

red hot/poured to
the top/spilling out
burning, churning blobs
on the lip. Some days I skip

to black. You can stick
a knife in my back
and slice me two. I’ll have half
to myself/giving the other to you.

from the winter storm
that cut me down.
Now I’ve thorns
I wear as crowns.
A fallen tree,
my bark stripped.
Now I’ve quills to fill
the holes
since I tipped.
No one wants a pointed edge,
broken stock,
a spiky hedge.

to fall
but slow to leave
just as sap on the tree
I bleed amber honey

I’m quick
to jump
but slow to think
just as a frog
in a blink
I make a splash

I’m quick
to carry
all this weight
but slow to empty
what’s on my plate

as a dime
when she’s a silver dollar.
She’s often home.
But he hasn’t time
to call her.

He treats her
as a chicken egg
when she is caviar.
She often begs.
He smokes her
as a fat cigar.

He treats her
as brass
when she's solid gold.
Her arms spread out to him.
But his, like a pretzel fold.

He treats her
as lint,
often brushing her off.
She took the hint.
And broke it all off.

be a mountain
be Everest!
Never rest till you rise
to the highest.

If you’re going to
be an ocean
be the Pacific!
Prolific
in all endeavors.
Deep inside you –
a box of treasures.

If you’re going to
be a car
be a Ferrari!
Cut through the air
in a breeze
at top speed.

If you're going to
don't wait!
Don't look back
and say, "it's much too late".

so long
I’ve callouses
on my hands/knots in
my stomach. Swinging back
and forth/now I’m going to
plummet.

I held on
so tight
I’ve burn marks
on my fingers. No foothold
for me to linger. I’m a stone
sitting in a catapult
as my home.

I held on
so bravely
hoping someone
out there
would save me.
But there's not
a sole in sight.
So –
I let go
and took flight.

is a seed
every parent
the soil
to till and plant
or crush
and foil

Every child
is a flower
and every parent
with pardon
is the garden
hard or soft
****
or crop

Every child
grows
in sunlight
and rain
through winters
and spring
the morning dew
on the blade
evening’s shade
tall as the oak tree
or fallen
as the autumn leaves

a rose.
You plucked the petals.
So, the world can see
a stem
with only thorns and leaves.

I handed you
a strand of pearls.
You wrapped around
your finger like a curl.
And pulled tight
till it snapped.
All that’s left
are empty gaps.

I handed you
a song.
You played it
till the needle
scratched,
and jumped
over the track.
Played it
till it was murky.
All the notes jerky.

I handed you
a sunny day.
You stood in the way
and became my shade.
So, now I’m a silhouette
that hasn’t set.

swept me up
as a wave, over my head. I was
a slave. I crashed up against
the rocks. No more comfy
pillow talks.

The pain
swallowed me whole
as a beached whale
rolled onshore
stored in the fat
of a carnivore.

The pain
sliced through me
as a shark, moving stealthily
in the dark. Till I was
floating body parts.

The pain
submerged me
as a submarine
to the bottom-
the abyssal plain
where there’s no sunlight
only sediment as my terrain.

can you squeeze
out of me? Little by
little I whittle. Not
a drop left to swap
with anyone.

How much
whacks can I take
before the back in me
breaks? As a bent nail
you can’t hammer me
in. You’ve more luck
with pin.

How much
grains of sand
can fall before
there are no grains
at all? Everything’s
settled to the bottom.

at “hello”.
I couldn't go.
The cherry-bomb glow
went off as you smiled.
So, I sat for a while –
sixteen years.

You had me
at the turn.
I still didn’t learn.
The roses in my glasses
stuck as molasses
running tracks over my eyes.
Still, I minimized
the pain.

You had me
wrapped around
a finger
so tight I couldn’t breathe.
Then you blew me off
like a sneeze.
And I evaporated
in the mist.
That was the last
we kissed.

You had me
****** over you.
I was cut-up meat
like in a stew.
I floated in the broth
till I was bubbling froth.

You had me
raked over the coals
till the soles of my feet
were burned.
But I discovered
I was more than
a spurned lover.

in his lies
stuck just like
a trapped fly
caught in the spider’s web
strung out
on all he said

Don’t get tangled
on the rhetoric
like a deer tick
he’ll embed his head
on you
leaving you ill
like the flu

Don’t get tangled
in his arms
hell wrap you up
like a burrito
making you itch
like a mosquito

Don’t get tangled
on the baggage
he’s as dense
as a cabbage
you’ll be served cold
on the side
till you grow old
with no allies

for four-leaf clovers
rainbows
or unicorns
no stars in these eyes
they’re open real wide

I’m not looking
on a happy-ever-after
a fairy-tale life
with castles and white knights

I’m not looking
outside
for answers
I’ll take my chances

I'm not looking
for a fix
no panacea
my idea of happiness
is fighting like a lion
sleeping like a bear
soaring like a falcon
high up in the air