for four-leaf clovers
rainbows
or unicorns
no stars in these eyes
they’re open real wide

I’m not looking
on a happy-ever-after
a fairy-tale life
with castles and white knights

I’m not looking
outside
for answers
I’ll take my chances

I'm not looking
for a fix
no panacea
my idea of happiness
is fighting like a lion
sleeping like a bear
soaring like a falcon
high up in the air

cheers
from wanton dears
that burst from my ceiling
in a downpour
I locked in my bedroom drawer

All those
kisses
that snuck through
the window
in chilling whispers
I tucked under my pillow

All those
dreams
that smoothed over me
in Chantilly cream
I stored in the floorboards

All those
lies
dancing fireflies
that lit the night
I ignited with gasoline
and built a bonfire
on his smoke screens

a bud
you cut me off
before I could bloom.
So, I couldn't
resume to grow
into a bright red rose.

As I was
a flittering butterfly
you sheared my wings.
So, I couldn’t fly.
But I still danced
on the ground.
Till you pranced on me
with shoes dirt brown.

As I was
the apple
of their eye
you poisoned the fruit
with bitter lies.
Till I was rotten
through and through.
Still, I haven't gotten
over you.

thrown
from side
to side
paddled
and kicked
driven
high in the air
only to land
with my head
in the sand
gone through
hoops
loop the loop
called a foul
batted
pumped up
under pressure
deflated
put in a hole
behind
the eight ball

as the moon
believes the sun
rises over the horizon.
The dewdrops
pearls of honey,
flopping ears of
the holiday bunny.
The fall leaves turning
golden and crimson.
My head swims in
this reverie
of make-believe.

I believed in you
so, I followed
as a shadow,
with the precision
of an arrow.
I was sticking to you
as marrow,
till you plucked my strings
cutting my wings.

I believed in you
as summer
believes in autumn,
till you pushed me
to the bottom.
I’ve yet to spring back.
This winter was frozen dark
like black ice.
I fell-
not once
but twice.

by the wind
sending whispers
under my dress
standing *****
the hairs on my skin

I wish I was untouched
by the needle’s eye
I can walk through now
that I'm not sewn blind

I wish I was untouched
by the grains of sand
the pendulum swinging
the two moving hands

I wish I was untouched
by the papers, I’ve seen
in the darkroom
how the red light burned
how they’re turned in the trays
hung by a clothespins
put on display

knocked the wind
out of my sail
threw me over for her
like a humpback whale

You
were such a tease
colorful as the autumn leaves
I never touched bottom

You
were pointy
like the ears on Spock
turning like the ****
on a weathervane
weighing me down
a ball and chain

I
was marked
like branded cattle
till I was in the saddle
and turned it back on
You

the apple tree
when it’s bearing fruit
and bright green leaves.
But come the winter
when branches are bare
you don't notice them there.

Anyone can love
the azure sky
when the golden sun
hangs so high.
But come the clouds
that brings the rain
you complain.

Anyone can love
a baby girl.
When she’s cooing
and smiling
she’s out of this world.
But when she cries and clings
you cut the strings.

like an egg
cracked me
on the side of my head
beat me up
till I was thinly spread
threw tomatoes at me
till I was scarlet
But I became a juicy omelet

He broke me
like a shell
on the beach
I was crushed
beneath his feet
he does that to every girl
But I rolled out as a shiny pearl

He broke me
like a branch
off a tree
I splintered underneath
the fallen leaves
But a robin with redbreast
saw I’d be fitting
for her nest
So, I returned to
where I came –
But not the same

of not seeing him
going over every word he said
fitful nights in bed
of living in a pea soup fog
sitting like a bump on a log
of rocky road ice cream
weeping till I scream
quaffing down ***** martinis
burning teddys and bikinis
going to bed by eight
gaining extra weight
cutting the pictures of us
the furniture builds up with dust
talking to myself
not leaving the house

Every day is another day
of months passing by
going with friends for Thai
not making excuses for him
not hanging by the phone
or checking emails or texts

Every day is another day
for having self-respect

in the corner of my head
as I’m busy with things
seems I just can’t shed
my hanging broken wings

He'll always be
night sweats in the sheets
broken sleep
the tingling in my feet

He’ll always be
in the swirling autumn leaves
I chase but cannot catch
He’s a rogue, a tease
an itch I cannot scratch

He’ll always be
popping in and out
dancing in the shadows
traveling about
bringing me the lows
that I can’t bang-out

He’ll always be
a cardinal on my windowsill
a blanket of April snow
burying this sweet rose til
I bleed into the snow

insults can you hurl
to a green girl
till she is shamed
from all you said
and cannot
remove this stain
you embed?

How much
can you smack her
with the back
of a wooden spoon
till she’s afraid
to leave her room?

How much
can she weep
without wetting her sheets
and jiggling as jello
of the shiny yellow belt
flying down hard
leaving her welts
the size of
a deck of cards
in black and red marks?

How much
can you strip
of her dignity
you make-up-haired witch?
You’re all over her like
a fast-spreading itch.

How much
can she take
till the heart in her
breaks?
till her wings
are shorn?
till she'd better off
not born?

gold
when it was
glitter dust
I was sold on the love
when it was only
heavy lust

I saw
a hero
riding a steed
but it was a coward
not taking the lead

I saw
castles
but they were made
out of sand

I saw
a friend
lending a hand
but as I was broken
off he ran

you down
with dance and laughter
till disaster
strikes
is a white knight
on a steed
but take heed

The devil wears
ripped jeans
and sports a tan
but understand
underneath the six-pack
and muscles
lies hustler
not a man

The devil wears
his wit
like a written manuscript
has his lines so define
wraps you up
like you were twine

cheap cigars
they’ll smoke you
as they stroke you
then idle as a car

Men are
vultures
flying overhead
swirling as a blizzard
in your satin bed
till you bled
as a ******
newlywed

Men are
storm clouds
raining on your parade
blowing out your light
leaving you shade

Men are
Venus Fly Traps
the closer you stand
they snap
trapped in
soft hair
and cherry grin
they have you pinned

Men are
rivers
travelers carried away
and running
emptying out themselves
like broken plumbing

were a butterfly
I’d cut its wings
and have it die
then sew my eyes
so, I couldn’t see
another butterfly
dancing free

If the pain
were a sunny day
I’d cut it up
pound it like clay
draw the shades
and hang myself
they’ll never be
someone else

If the pain
were a river
I’d have it run me out to sea
and decompose
like leaves of tea
till I'm dregs
the manatees smoke
and never be
a halfwit of some bloke

up
as a paper doll
in blouse and skirt
and knitted shawl
and it’d hurt
between the lolls
when he didn’t call

He cut me
down
as an old oak tree
with tainted words
dropped to my knees
cut me in thirds
in a fell swoop breeze

He cut me
in
the spring
as tulips bloom
cut all my heartstrings
not to resume
this threadbare fling

He cut me
out
of his life
with a pen
not a knife
and then
took a wife

in a pool of water
as the camera rolled
his wayward daughter
wet and cold
but he couldn’t spot her

Loneliness sits
in a ***** martini
salty and cloudy
in her stuffed bikini
she’s a bit rowdy
for a teeny ******

Loneliness sits
in a paperback
pages yellow
lines are hacked
in type, she bellows
they say she’s whacked

Loneliness sits
in a gilded cage
a broken mirror
it’ll age
only queerer
but never sage

like pelting hail
till I had bumps
raised as braille
and he danced all over them
using his finger as a pen

He hit me
like a flying dart
pierced the bullseye
I, his mark
on his first throw
had me from the go

He hit me
like a bombing blizzard
billowing white dust
blinding me with every gust
till I was swimming in the soup
and then he flew the coop

He hit me
like quicksand
putty in his hand
as I moved
he would expand
and held me tight
into his chambers
and let me sink
like we were strangers

bell choirs
ringing in my ears
never expires
stinging within my tears

His words
echoes
bouncing off the walls
sticking spotted geckoes
barking red fox calls

His words
black smoke
everywhere
making me choke
taking all my air

His words
darts
colored feathered purple
aimed at my heart
thrown into the center circle
a bleeding cherry ****

did this hill
become a mountain?
and the hurdles
ascend higher than
the empire state building?

When
did laugh lines
turn into wrinkles?
this smile
flip upside down?
this skin hung
as a wet diaper?
and in all this grey
not a strand of brown?

When
did the years
pass as a blurry scene
out of the windows
of a high-speed train?
and all it ever did
was rain?

When
did friends
become commodities?
the government
changed its policies?
and we should go back
to the days of Socrates?

myself
with me
as I go
in the same shoes
though they’ve
grown larger
through the years
are miry
and full of tears

I carry
my pain
deep inside my chest
my chest concaved
and that shaved years off
my life

I carry
the past
in an hourglass
looking at the grains of sand fall
slow on the days I’m restless
faster on the days, with you
till I shattered the glass
and all the grains spewed

I carry
the weight
of this world
upon my back
like a gunny sack
filled with rocks
and obnoxious things
on such a petite frame
till I cut the strings

your lips
in soft satin
kisses till the tongues entwined
like roses on the vine

I covered
your lies
in cherry wine
till they left a port stain
on the bed frame

I covered
your screams
in chocolate-chip ice-cream
till the gallon emptied

I covered
your past
in a fossil
how's it possible that I
dug it up
under that much dust?

If I were water
I’d vapor
as I boil
I would taper

If I were paper
I’d float
till I became
completely soaked

If I were cheese
I’d curdle
like bulging fat
stuff in a girdle

If I were wood
I’d splinter
turn to mulch
come the winter

If I were rock
I’d roll alone
be nothing more
then a rolling stone

I’m steel
strong and shiny
tough enough
to face an army

child, let go! Even the trees
can’t hold onto the golden
crimson leaves. As a breeze blows
by they lift off the branches. In autumn
they dance as butterflies

Let go
of the thoughts swirling
around in that head. Put them
to bed once and for all. They’ve
taken up a lot of space. You’d be rich
if you charged them rent for the place.

Let go
of this. Every woman has
her moment. But the moment’s
shed as a chick that lost her down. This bird
has flown and left the nest. You’ll not reach
the crest by holding onto emptiness.

I cried enough
nights to drown
in my sheets, so, I made
a swimming pool from my head
to my feet.

I cried enough
brine to salt the roast beef. So,
I invited some friends over
for the feast!

I cried enough
tears, so I built me a raft
to sail to the end of this world
and back.

I cried enough
over him, never to let myself
be a victim again.

by my body
it’s only skin and bones
a place to hang my clothes

I’m not shaped
by my scars
they’re not my calling card

I’m not shaped
by man’s opinion
it’s just his thoughts -
they’re often off

I’m not shaped
by money
success, or fame
it’s not where I am
it’s how I became

as the branch
was snapping
my arms were flapping
as wings
but I couldn’t fly
I fell on his lies

I held on
to use to Be’s
left me pining
up at night whining for the past
letting go of my hand
as a balloon tied to a string
and I saw it grow smaller
as it caught a breeze –
floating higher than the trees
till it wasn’t seen

I held on
to a dream
of could Be’s
of knights in white satin
riding on steeds
a prisoner in an ivory tower
till I uncovered the stain
that was painted over
in rosy gloss
but I plucked the tartar
like dental floss

as the trees in winter
and all your colors splinter
into shades of black and white
and caused a spotted blight
sit tight

If you are bare
as the hot desert sand
down to your last strand
your arms and legs pinned
don’t go chasing after the wind

If you are bare
as a blank page
sitting inside your cage
somebody’s clipped your wings
cut all your heartstrings
swing as the monkeys do
break free from the old you

held upside-down by my feet
from the doctor/white as a
sheet and swung
like a pendulum/as a teen with a speculum
as I widened my knees.

I’ve been smacked
together as two erasers hanging out
the window blowing billowing
clouds of smoke floating in the white
dust till I choked.

I’ve been smacked
in the head by the hands
of my mother. Pulled by the hair,
pushed like the button of a buzzer
till I splintered as the timbered door frame.

I’ve been smacked
as the ice in winter. Some man stuck
a pick in me till I screamed.

I’ve been smacked
in the face of reality
as I lost all my dreams. I wore a
gray mentality/unraveled at the seams. Till I
sewed the hole back together. And mailed it out
like a letter.

for him
to change
like a cold hard winter
waits for the spring
like a swelled red splinter
waits for the body
to push it out
like the brittle dried grass
waits for the rain
after a drought

I waited
for him
like a caterpillar
in a chrysalis
like the papery husk
covering up
the shiny amber physalis
like the green plants
in photosynthesis

I waited
for him
to turn golden
like the leaves in autumn
but all I found
were dregs
as I got to the bottom

I waited
for him
with tears
and in pain
like a fat ugly stain
that sits and ferments
like I'm the **** of his cigarette
a stump lying in ashes
after he smoked me

as peat on the bog
a planted seed
the fat bullfrog
sleeping in the reeds

I’m the wind
I’ll slap your face
mess up your coiffure
and just as the air
take all the space

I won’t be overlooked
as wet cut hair
that falls to the floor
from the old barber’s chair

I’m the scissors
sharp and shiny
the pointed edge
the sun and the briny

I won’t be overlooked
as a hush
the dew on the grass
I’m the morning’s rush
the horns blowing
the beating pavement
a traffic jam
a star-made firmament

the bleeding scars
they’re baked
in smiles and candy bars

You can’t touch
this heart
it’s sold
it’s airbrushed
in solid gold

You can’t touch
this burning yen
not you alone
or a thousand men

You can’t touch
the able wings
they’re not encumbered
by man-made strings

You can’t touch
the broken pieces
a mosaic made from azure
and crimson stone
not a man can duly clone

You can’t touch
the lines of ink
they’ve warmed the nights
like a stole of mink

off my arms
so, with the bumps
I grew wings
they chopped off
my feet
so, with the stumps
I grew springs
they chopped up
my words
into dense clouds
of smoke and vapor
so, I threw ink on stained
scrap paper
and line after line
created a shrine
they chopped that up too
splintering all the pews
so, I built up an ark
with the splinters, they left
and headed out west
over the horizon
into the sunset
of marmalade
where I’m not touched
by their blade

can I walk toward the fire
like a moth to the flame
wearing my yen
having my wings burned
again and again

How many times
can I leave the safety of the shore
swept up in a riptide
over my head
lied flat as a piece of driftwood
on the seabed

How many times
can I weep
till these eyes are pools
a hundred feet deep
big as a mountain
till I froth as a soda fountain
and can't see the trees
or their crimson leaves

How many times
can I scream
till my breath is shallow
my voice raspy
I don’t have an answer
when they’re having to ask me

how many times
can you go on like this?

till I looked behind me
that the sun is blinding
a fly lit up my path
the streams all had a laugh

I didn’t know
till I stopped
the sunflower’s head
is cropped
the sky is grey as Bristol
his words are liquid crystal

I didn't know
till I listened
the ground is christened
with every step he takes
made this chest concave

I didn’t know
till I turned the corner
I’m a foreigner

I didn’t see
what is. My eyes grew cataracts
the size of mountains. I laid in
honey fields/swam in fountains of

eternal yesterdays. Swept up in
this haze of evergreen/not seeing
the falling pines/the dry spines sticking
into my skin/bleeding out from within

a memory. Living in a bubble
that popped I was thrown off the
white horse. I'd more holes than
a golf course. Like seeing a black

and white movie you fill in the colors
on the screen. The reds and the violets
make you scream. I’d the torment of
what followed as my chest hollowed out

like a spout dripping the last
drop of water. I emptied out
like a loaded dishwasher/that is I’m clean –
clean of what was yesterday’s dream.

grow up straight as a blade
so, I’m laid down flat on
some man’s bed/killing the dreams
swirling around my head.

Why should I
work nine to five
so, I’m boxed in a job
not for me/a clone
to tin soldiers/not
my own woman.

Why should I
standstill as a pill
in a bottle till somebody
shakes it/I’m awake as the wind
a **** on a weathervane blowing
in every direction.

Why should I
not fly on my own/not tied to a kite
held on a string? I have wings and songs
to sing.

an onion
the more in deep I peel
back the layers the more
I weep as sap on the tree

You’re like
a porcupine
the more I touch you
the more I’m poked
by the spines that line
the stuff covered up
in smiles and dust

You're like
the boards
on my deck
you splinter
in the coldest winter
leaving me stuck
as a hunted down duck

You're like
the trees in autumn
you bloom golden and crimson
having me imprisoned
with the bouquet
only to blow away
and then leave me barren
as a miscarriage

will I buy
the lies. Fed to me
as golden honey. But the runny
nectar bit my tongue as vinegar.

No longer
will I sweep myself up
in the love. I felt colorful
as the leaves in autumn, swirling
in crimson till I hit bottom.

No longer
will I pine
as the evergreen in a sky
of blue. The cue turned brittle. And I
whittled till my needles dropped
to the ground.

No longer
will I hold
the dream of rainbows
unicorns and emeralds
green. The attack has painted
the reverie shiny black.

the nouns. The sounds can’t
pass his cheeks. High as Alpine
peaks, the air is thin soon
as he begins.

He can’t speak
the truth. It’s a decaying tooth-rotting
in his gums. Even a drill
couldn’t **** out all the tartar
crumbs.

He can’t speak
as his foot’s stuck
in his mouth. Like the swallow,
his song has flown south on wings
that grew sprouts.

He can’t speak
as the cat has his tongue. A feral
mother raised him as her young. Stuck
as a *** of gum under the high school
desk the hardened blob turns grotesque.

He can't speak
as his lips are sewn
with the splinters from all
the winters he has roamed.

of zebras
I’m a stallion
a red-hot blooded Italian
my stripes don’t brand me
strong as brandy
I kick up dust

In a world
of dark clouds
I’m a bolt of lightning
Look out!
I’m striking

In a world
of blooming roses
I’m a thorn
I’ll husk you
as an ear of corn

In a world
of compromise
I’ll not acquiesce
I'll stand my ground
as men aggress

the veneer. Slipping
pieces are chipping and
falling to the floor. I’ll sweep them up,
placing them in a paper cup
drinking a toast to “no more.”

I see-through
the bravado I said
once a hero. The swashbuckling
buccaneer turned to road-killed deer!

I see-through
all the holes. I’ve crawled
between the cracks I once called
love. I can’t have myself back –
the self-made glue of all I misconstrued.

I see-through
the glossy bubble. I'd trouble
for many years. But as it popped
so went my tears and all the heaviness
of airs.

the sun
blanket it in billowing clouds
drape the grey on jeering crowds
but I’ll still waltz in moonbeams
flittering under the evergreen
in fields that glean

They can take away
the songbird
cut all his notes
so, none are heard
slash the humpback whales
drowning their song
in a blood sea bath
wearing a sarong
but I’ll still swim thin as a lath
making a wake in the aftermath

They can take away
the flowers
pulling up their roots
no perfume showers
or bearing fruits
but I’ll still lie in the dandelions
waving and bobbing
as the bearded dragons

for walking all over
me. I can only see the bottom
of your feet. The impact has
laid me flat as the mat
outside your door. I’m not curled
into a ball that you can throw
around. I'm thick as the ground.

Thank You
for lying. I’m not weeping. All my
teardrops have dried into splinters on
my face. I’m a porcupine. If you step
near me you’ll have a face of spines
that’ll debase.

Thank you
for breaking the pedestal
I have you on. The crash has made
me strong. The landing was a long
ride. But took the trash out with the tide.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09PHC1BX5?ref=pe3052080_397514860

He was sweet
as honey dripping
until he spilled
his last drop.

He was bright
as the stars shining
until he shut
the lights off.

He was cool
as a fan blowing
on a hot July day
until he pulled the plug
and took his breath away.

He was bearing fruit
as the apple tree
until the winter frost.
I stood starving
under him
until I was lost.

out of the roll call
in high school basketball. None of
the girls picked me for their team. Those
girls are so mean. They walked around in cliques
and taunted me for kicks.

I'm left
out in the cold
so, I froze. I weep droplets
of ice that stick together like grains
of rice. As I blink you can skate
in my rink.

I’m left
out in the red sun
so, I burned. My body
turned from soft, fuzzy peach
to a black, slimy leech. They don't teach
you this in school
that the sun is not so cool.

I’m left
speechless
by the things men say
and do. I’d rather roam the foothills
with the elk and the ewe.

I’m left
holding the bag
by men, I put my trust in. Their
promises thin, blew as dust
in the wind.

bend me
to their will
but I’ll snap back. Not
allowing them to fill
my head with flack.

They can
sting me
with their tongues. But
they’ll die as the stingers
fall. Words to me
have no weight
at all!

They can
throw me
to the wolves. But I’ll dance
in the sun/warble in the forest.
I kick up my heels when
I’m the sorest.

the oceans drained
till the sea turned desert
and the clouds inert
so, it stopped the rain
someone pulled the plug
and it's hard to feign

All
the stars collided
till the sky broke gas
in this billowing mass
men cried
it wouldn’t pass

All
the forests burned
every tree that stood
took a turn to fall
nothing but ash left
in a smoky squall

All
the flags bled
from mans oversized head
into the mire
the birds on the wire
were cooked
as the chickens in the fryer

of the bread
the thick part at the end
everybody discards
some men feed to the ducks
I’m just a piece of crust
But I hold the whole frigging loaf

I’m the heel
of the foot
a cracked, dried bottom
people walk on
not the shiny, painted toes
that everybody shows
But I’ve soul

I'm the heel
some men say
a punk with junk
a stinging ray
a callous mutt
so, they say
but I aren't I tough!

I’m the heel
of the red high shoe
the stiletto
that raises woman’s view
I make them taller
when they’re smaller
I make them ****
men get apoplexy
and swoon