Hot chocolate
On a cold winter day
Hot chocolate
Toe warm the soul

There she stood at the far end of the gym
Red dress  
A blue sash around her waist tied in a bow in the back
Blond hair in a ponytail
The biggest and brightest blues eyes
Focused on me

I stood at the entrance
Black slacks
Black dress shoes
White dress shirt
An awkward jr. high student
Nervous to

Our eyes met
We crossed the floor to each other
Hugged
Then stepped on to the dance floor

She glided along the floor
Like gravity could not touch her
I on the other hand
Stumbling
Clumsy
Oaf
She did not seem to notice
Nor seem to care

We danced a little
Had refreshments
Sat on the bleachers and talked a little

After the dance
We held hands and walked to the front of the school
Where our parents were waiting

We hugged once more
said we'd see each other in class on Monday
Then departed to our parent's cars
And went home

Wishing all my friends a wonderful and joyous Easter

Bound and gagged
Laying on the floor
Naked
Bleeding
Hurting
The Salt from my tears stings
As they wash over the wounds upon my boby


For three years we had been friends
For three years we had been like brothers
Having cookouts
Going to ball games and parties
Celebrating each other’s life
or
Just hanging out
Just the two of us


Little did I know the monster within my friend
It started out as small stuff
Touching
The way he spoke
Sometimes it ways the way he acted


Then one night while we sat on the couch
watching tv
He made his move
And jumped me
I tried to fight him off
But
To no avail


When I fought he fought back
Punching
Kicking
In some cases cutting me with a knife


Finally I gave up trying to fight
Seeing it was doing no good
And was just getting me hurt worse
Once when he had his knife out and was cutting me
I screamed “ Go ahead and **** me while you’re at it.”
His response “No I want to here you scream.”


He finally bound me
And started his ***** deed
Pounding his tool in my ***
Like a jackhammer
Again, and again, and again
The more I screamed in pain
The more he laughed


Through tears and blood
I endured it all
Then he was done
Before he left he told me
If I said anything to anyone
He’d come back and **** me
He gagged me just to be safe


After he left
Through much struggle
I worked free of my bonds


I never said anything about that moment
Until now
Two weeks after this happened
He was in a car crash and died
Justice paid from above

Depression is an acid
That slowly
Eats away
Your heart and soul

Depression is a void
From which
There is no escape

You lose interest in things that used to bring you such joy
You fade away from the people you love and care about

Depression is a piece of fly paper
Once it sticks to you
You can never get it off

Depression is a killer
Sneaking up behind you
To stab you in the back

You no longer see in color all is gray
You no longer feel true joy just an empty facade

Depression is a hole in your heart
An emptiness
A vacant spot
An icy tomb
To never be warm

Depression is putting a smile on your face
When all you want to do is die
Cast off leave the world behind

You smile so the world doesn’t see the pain
You smile so the world doesn’t see the fear

Depression is being sad and not knowing why
A constant rain cloud above you
No light just gloom

Depression is always fearing the worst will happen
Depression is a car spinning out of control
Depression is a tornado inside destroying your life
Depression is voices from your past that even afters years
They still haunt you
Teasing
Laughing
Tearing you down bit by bit

Depression is never seeing yourself as good enough

I consider My time in the FFA
(Future farmers of America)
The best part of my High school years
The friendships I made
The leadership skills I gained
The fun of the contests

Those blue and gold jackets
Were beautiful and comfortable to wear
Even if a tide warm at times

The trips were a blast
All of us laughing and joking
Riding on the bus

Yes my time in the FFA
Is among my favorite times
In my life

Turkey
Stuffing
Cranberry sauce
Pumpkin pie
Pecan pie
My stomach is going to bust

I cry for lonliness
I cry in pain
I cry because the world has gone insane

I cry out for freedom
I cry out for joy
I cry out to every girl and boy

I cry I shed tears
Both in pain and in fear
Sometimes tears are shed for Joy
These are tears to not avoid

I cry out to be heard
Joyful singing
Or just to spread the word
To sound a call

For one and all

Love has no gender
Love has no age
Love has no category

To many people
Try to put love in a box
It doesn't work
Love
True love
Honestly love
Is a free spirit
Loving and caring
As it will

Sorry I have not been on here for a while.  I had surgery on my hip and was layed up for a while.  But am feeling better now.

Pancakes
Waffels
French toast
Eggs, bacon, and more

Orange joice
Apple juice
Coffee
Hot chocolate for cold mornings

Hashbrowns
Potato cakes
And more

Pop tarts
Doughnuts
Cinommin eolls

All this is good
But
The best part of breakfast
Is sharing it

With some one like you

Let's take a journey
Let's have an adventure
See new place
Greet new faces
Try new things

I went to your wedding
The woman I love
Marring another man

The service was beautiful
You in your dress
He in his tox
Standing under the arch
At the front of the church

The preacher was giving The " I Dos"
The preacher turned to you
Before you said "I do"
You called me to tthe front

When I got up there
You pulled out a knife
You stabbed me in the chest
Then you told the preacher to continue and said "I do"
You were both married

I woke up in a sweat

This iceberg grows
As the cold wind of depression
Courses through my veins

If you want me in your life
Tell me
If you don't want me in your life
Tell me
Stop with the mind games

He whirls
He twirls
He tells jokes
He does a little dance
He does this all to make us laugh

However
At the end of the day
He goes home
And cries in dismay

Stupid
is the one
Who hates to learn
For they shall never know
The truth

It pains me to see you with other guys
Though I knew it would never be
But
I can't help but wish that I was he

Love is a great secret
Between to souls

With Jesus I make my stand
With this spiritual sword in my  hand
To knock out all the evil that I see
The Lord has made strong
To knock out all the wrong
Together we will set the people free

The machine will find you
Once it does
It will destroy you
Or tag you
To be part of the system
Another
Mindless
Emotionless
Drone
Just going through the motions
Following orders
Never caring
Never loving
Never an individual again

The machine owns you
You have no choice
From the day you are born
The Machine owns you
The machine tags you
You become a part of the system

Still there is hope
There are those who resist
Though they know it is a lost battle
They fight anyway
For there is always hope
To keep the individual person alive
To sound a voice
To release a cry
To let the machine know

It's a party
Everybody have fun
The music playing
People Swaying
To the tune
That's going on

It's a party
A time for joy
A time to let go
From all the stress of the day
Relax have a good time

It'a a party
Staying up late
Hanging with friends
The best of times
Never let it end

It's a party
Everybody have fun

BBQ
Friends and family gather near
Meat and veggies on the grill
Smoke smells so good
Laughter
Games Fun

Snow falls down
Fluffy white
Beautiful

You monster
How dare you touch
A child in such a way

You monster
How dare you treat
A child in such a manner

Children are our future
They will one day
Running this world

I walked into your church that Sunday morning
You had your Bible in your hand
You were preaching out the good news for every women, child, and man

You were preaching about salvation
About God’s truth and loyalty
You told us how to receive salvation
So our spirits can be free

I felt it welling up inside me
I fell to my knees
I prayed Jesus guide me

Come on and save my soul
I don’t want to live like this no more
I need you Jesus in my life
My life’s been on one bad trip
My soul feels like it’s going to rip
Come on and help me with my life

When you finished with your service I had given my life away
I still thank the good Lord I walked into your church that day
Now I preach the gospel in a church in my home town
I still remember the day I let the walls fall down

I felt it welling up inside me
I fell to my knees
I prayed Jesus guide me

Come on and save my soul
I don’t want to live like this no more
I need you Jesus in my life
My life’s been on one bad trip
My soul feels like it’s going to rip
Come on and help me with my life

Thrown against the wall
Given a black eye or two
Busted lip
Bruises
Scars
Cuts

The pain
The betrayal
The emotions run wild

She loved him
Gave him the past years of her life
Had to kids together

One day it happened
He beat her ******
She had done no wrong

The next day
He beat her again

This went on day after day
She still loved him
She asured herself he would get better

Then one day
She caught him beating their children
She fought him off
She then took the kids and left

She still loves him
But
She loves her kids more
Him beating her she could deal with
Him beating the kids they had to leave
The marriage was over

Life in prison is what he got

A new life for her and the kids

To write
To explore one’s thoughts
To write
To question one’s being
Venturing into the darkest
Corners of one’s soul
Grabbing hold of the truest
Person of your heart
The truest thought from within
Your own mind

To write
The great exploration
Of one’s own soul
To try and understand
Who you are
Where you come from
What you are to do
Questions asked
Yet never answered

I didn't choose poetry
It chose me

When the world needed a voice
I was chosen
When the lost and hurting
Needed to cry out
I was chosen

Like my brother and sister poets before me
I speak for those without a voice
I comfort the hurting
I bring joy to the sad

I didn't choose poetry
It chose me
I accept

Every time we’re apart
I lose a bit of my heart

Every time you go away

My heart breaks

Sunrise on a brand new day
Orange
Blue
Yellow
Purple
Red
All in beautiful array

Sunrise on a brand new day
New hopes
New challenges
To test me
To make me stronger
Physically
Mentally
Emotionally

Sunrise on a brand new day
Let's get started

Come sail away  
To points unknown
Come sail away
Adventure behold

Come follow me
Chasing the wild wind
Your hearts desire
Is your command

Come sail away
Open yourself to something new
Open yourself fully
To your imagination
To your whims
To anything at all

Come sail away
For the adventure of your life

Within my soul there
Is a light that shines upon
The shadowy darkness that
Theatens to destroy me

Though the light is dim
as it glows
A mighty fire it will become

He was born different
A freak they say
The others would laugh
Mean games they would play

He could not help the way he was born
Isn't like he had a choice

The "Normal" kids don't care
They just want to stare
Poking fun
Making jokes
Causing tears

Red ink spills upon the page
Like blood pouring from my veins
As I write my emotions down
Once again

One beat
One song
One voice
One

God the beat
Always was
Always is
Always will be
Before the beginning of time
It was so

The Holy Spirit the song
Joins the beat to give it
Movement and action
It's drives the beat onward
So it doesn't stand still
Or fall on dead ears

Jesus is the voice
Joining the other two
It gives
Words
Power
Grace
The voice calls in the wild
It calls for all who will listen

This is the very core of existence
We exist only because
The Beat GOD
The song THE HOLY SPIRIT
The voice JESUS CHRIST
All live in perfect form and balance
Without this balance
All falls apart into the void
Full of darkness and chaos

Ask me if I love you
The answer will be yes
Ask me again and again
A million times over
The answer will still be yes
Once I start loving you
I never stop

Hot wings
Buffalo wings
Tangy sweet
Or spicy hot

Bake them
Grill them
Fry them
It's all good

Enjoy them
Eat them
Savor the goodness
Lick the sauce from your fingers

Hot wings
Buffalo wings
Tangy sweet
Or spicy hot

Lord you're my God and king
I will praise your name
With my voice I sing
Your praise forever

You did save my life
With your sacrifice
Now I can live
Forever

You have set me free
From the pain indeed
And the sin and death
That plagued me

Live life on your own terms
Do things your way
Do not follow the crowd
Strike your own path
Forge a new trail



You are you
You are not like the rest
So don’t treat yourself as if you are
Find your own gifts
Build them up
Be strengthened by them



Yes there will be pitfalls from time to time
But
Learn from them
Do not run away
Grow

When you introduced me to your new love
My heart broke
Sure we may have just been friends
But at least there was a glimmer of hope
Now however
There is nothing
But my broken heart
And the emotional flood that pours from myself
As I slowly cry myself to death

Barefoot
Grass underneath my feet

Flowers grow upon
The graves of the fallen
Those who gave their all
To shine a light
Into the darkness of this world

Flowers grow
Their blood stains the Earth
They fought
They died
For a higher cause

Now they lay
Sleep the eternal sleep
Now they lay
The flowers marking their spot
Now they lay
Gone but never forgotten

Life
   Draining
           Away
              Into
                  The
                     Void
                          
                           Life
                               Falling
                                      into
                                          the
                                             darkness
                                                     that
                                                         eats
                                                             your
                                                                 soul

                                                                      Death
                                                                            Awaits
                                                                                  Darkness
                                                                                          Gloom
                                                                                               Hell
                                                                                                    And
                                                                                                       Doom
                                                                                                            
                                                                                                           Goodbye
                                                                                                                  World
                                                                                                                       I shall
                                                                                                                                See
                                                                                                                                   You
                                                                                                                                      No
                                                                                                                                        More

                                                                                                                                            Last
                                                                                                                                                breathe
                                                                                                                                                       Eyes
                                                                                                                                                            Close
                                                                                                                                                                 It
                                                                                                                                                                    Is
                                                                                                                                                                      Done

You want me
Come and get me
I see the fight in your eyes
The hatred
The heat

If you want me
Come and get me
I'm ready

Here on base
Bat in my hand
Focused and ready
I have taken my stand

The pitcher on the mound
Ball in his hand
Waits for the signal
From the catcher's hand

The pitcher looks left
The pitcher looks right
Then the pitcher winds up
Sending the ball into flight

Closer it comes
Floating in air
Untill it reaches the home plate
Then "CRACK" it's out of here

Faster and faster
It spins up and up
It flys past the fence
"HOME RUN"  what luck

Naked I stand before the world
Not a physical nakedness
But emotional

Every hurt
All my pain
The river and ocean of tears
All layed bare for the world to see

My life’s journey
My joys
My struggels
My faults
My failures

All on display
For the woeld to see
All on display
For the world to judge

Every scab
Every cut
Every scare

A testimony of life
Life lived
Life rejected
Life learned
Life regained

Naked
I stand befor the world
Not physical nakedness

But emotional

I am the poet with my words
I can rip out the very fabric of reality
I can replace it with what I choose
Destroy one’s own ideas of life itself
Encourage one’s faith in GOD
Or make them face their darkest demon
I can crumble the government

With my words
I can bring two lovers together
Explain the mysteries of the universe
Let them know pain exists
That they are not alone in how they feel
Shine a light within this dark world

With my words
I can bring joy or cause pain
Calm fears and dry tears
Make friends

I am the poet
I am the poet

The void
The unknown
Dark and scary


To chance to partake
An adventure
A chance to stretch your limits
A chance to grow


To learn
To excell
To acheive


However
The void
Could go the other way


Death
Destruction
Damnation


The void
A mysteriuos spot
Will it lead you
To personal growth
Or
Will it lead you
To your own death


You will never know
Until you step in
The void

Sunset in the sky
The end of the day
Or somebody's life