Some people deal with there frustrations,
Smoke a cigarette, drinking
Hint a door
Get mad at your kids, wife
Gamble all the money
Drive fast

There are some, who cannot handle it
Ends up suicide

I met this man long time ago
He has Average look and body wise.
Some women like
When a men has great
Body
***
Specially if he knows
How to work his snake.

Well time pass by
Men change
They want to look
More bigger.
Less Satisfaction in the
Bedroom for there love one

Well let me tell you
Men’s out there
The **** you guys take
To make your body look
Nice. Didn’t you know
That actually Strank your
Pennies down.
You when from Average size
To litter size
All that work for nothing

On my daughter house
Knowing that I don’t stay there
Anymore.
I never bought my problems
At your door.
Why you bring your
At my daughters house

Men shouldn't have ***
And get someone pregnant
If all they going to do
Is denied your child.
Than accuse you sleeping
With someone else.
When you know, yourself
Your noting like him.
The babies didn't do anything to
Them.
For them to denied there
Own blood.

You're a woman who embraces her true self- flaws and all. People find your edgy personality and positive outlook  towards life captivating.
You're the captain of your own ship- you own it, and you take control of it.

During my months of prayer, He showed me how wrong I was in my behavior toward the situation.

I don’t know why it took me so long to forgive, but I do know that God uses adversity to bring us closer to Him. Clearly, I needed that time. I had to work on me before I could move forward with forgiveness for someone else.

It's all about being AFRAID

Afraid, afraid to close your eyes because you don't want to dream.
Dreams are not reality, in fact they are everything you wished you had, teasing you till you become Insane. You cry for the day someone will understand you pain, the pain that's never the same, you've become afraid to fall asleep, to fall asleep and never wake up, but that's what you want isn't it? To end the pain you've been suffering.

you don't have the guts, you can't sit there and take your life, you fall and fall, constantly picking yourself up, but never forgetting to leaving bits behind, your body becomes soulless, it becomes dark, you once were something, now nothing, Dreaming of the day you won't have this pain, going insane, you watch others , they're not hiding, why are you?

Why are you so afraid to let others see you fall, to know that you once have given your all but have received nothing at all for the things so small , see a dream can Become you're worst enemy, haunting you with the things you desperately need.

You internally bleed, but on the outside you plead, you plead for it to all go away, you know it doesn't happen just like that and that it's within time, but what if there's not enough time.

They say that some things can make you stronger , but you've given up on being strong , as I sit here, I realize that there isn't one strong bone left in my body, I carry my self to only let myself down , I put faith in others for them to only let me down, it's a never ending cycle , and it seems to have become all I've known, we all need and want someone to care, but that's not what I want nor do I need it, I've mentally and most times physically been on my own.

I'm not upset anymore because I don't have anyone there or anyone who loves me , I'm upset at the fact that I allowed myself to fall into such state of darkness , the darkness that tell you that's it's okay to let this be the end, you have the devil on one shoulder and god on the other , but the devil is playing tricks on you , tricks of the mind...

So I sit here and ask myself what it is that I truly want , and who I want to do it with,

No one and nothing , you hear all these inspirational speakers who can talk about their journey, their struggles and how they overcame them.. What if you don't know where it all began , it could of just popped up out of no where, but that's not how it is, there is always a beginning,  and an end, for now I will hold onto the beginning, and hope for the end

I think being with some one you love is a blessing in itself. Making memories with that person lasts you a lifetime.
Treasured moments too precious, too shorted lived to ever forget or even ever let go.

Dear Racheal,

I did a reading about this person you’re always thinking about.

My cards showed something I wasn’t expecting. I see feelings that are developing.

This person is thinking about you all the time.

But I also see negative vibrations coming from a third party.

Get mad at yourself and your partner.
Everything started with her.
You don’t go attacking a person
Especially with a heart problem.

I remember as a child
The man ask the woman her hands
I remember as a child
The man take the woman out to
Dinner and movie
I remember as a child
You both become friends
First before anything
I remember as a child
You both don't have
*** before you says
Your bowels.

My mother is
The one gave birth to me
My mother is
The one who raised me up
To a beautiful flower.

No, matter
Whom or what they
Have said in the pass.
His heart will always
Look for his comfort zone.
He will always come back
Home to the one
Holds his heart.
Why, step in
Why push yourself to him
If your not important
To him....

1995 I remember a lot
I was a single mother with two boys
Trying to make it
On my own, I didn’t ask my family for
Anything. To me, if I lay down with someone.
And had does two boys, own my own.
I’m going to try my best to take care of my kids.
I will do anything for my kids.
Working three jobs
Back on back
Just to make sure, I have food for my kids
And roof over there head.
I don’t depend on my family for anything.
If there’s away
You will do anything for it.
I have a lot struggling in the year of 1995.
I could easily get help from my family.
But I didn’t. I didn’t want to be just like all my sisters. Depending on are mother and father.
Until I meet someone at one of the places I work.
He affords to help me.
To just watch my kids for me.
Until I started to like him.
If you to compare now 2020 to 1995.
Back than it’s different
How man act’s than now.
2020 are more, let’s have ***. Nothing serious.
Back than you like someone. You get to know him. He takes you out. He come visit you at your apartment or house. Than go home.
They take there times.
That’s what I remember 1995 for me.

I want what’s in your heart
Not some lies
You been telling
Tell me
Deepest your heart
You don’t love me anymore
Your eyes tells the truth
Your words don’t match.

I want the truth.
If you could tell me
The goddess truth
I’ll listen. If another
Lies, I’ll walk always.

Enough with the lies.
Lies is the devil work
The truth is gods work.

If you ever want to move forward in life,
the first person you have to be honest with is yourself,
forget everybody around you,
because either they are with you,
or just there to hold you back,
life too short to wonder about what if's,
make mistakes but know the consequences,
life feels better when you know who's truly by your side,
and who only there for the ride,
because when times get hard,
and you need somebody to talk to,
only those people who truly love you,
will be the only ones by your side,
so live life to the fullest,
laugh your **** off along the way,
and love the people who remind you who you are,
when you start to wonder off and get lost,
but most importantly,
always be honest with yourself.

For me to able to do what I must
Do, I had to sacrifice my love one
Sometimes you have to
If you deeply love someone
You have to do
What you need too.
Don’t mean you don’t love them.
Don’t mean you move on either.
You will always have them in your heart.
To get what you want in life,
To able to reach your goals.
Sacrifice your love to a side.

Look I already knew the time you and her got into a fight. My guts never lie to me. If you don’t like ppl lieing on you. Why do you keeps lieing to me. I’m to ******* old to play a game. But if you bring it to my attention. I’ll play your game. I saw it the minute I spoke to you. You try to compare me with her. I’m sorry I’m much older than her.
I’m a woman who knows what I want in life. I’m a type a person. I’ll go and get it myself.
But I don’t Saddle for less. I learn my lesson with you. And I wasn’t about to be. Fool again.
I found myself already. That’s why I’m not to stress when it comes to you.
How do you love someone. When that person can’t love you same way. How do you care for someone. Don’t even care. For you
How do you give your heart. When your heart is made of stone.
See that not me, I could talk so much ****. But that’s me. No one can’t change that. But doesn’t mean I can’t love someone. I love myself to much. To just follow a man who looks at me as a $$$ signs. My health and me personal comes first. I feel much better finding the truth. I could work and go on with my life. The next person that’s comes in my life. I’m not jumping that fast anymore. I never run after no man. Like I was saying next person comes in my life. I don’t want them to think. What I could do for him. Is what we could do for one another. Is about teamwork. I don’t want to be compare to the next ***** either.
My life is not about comparing a person to another person. Who’s better than.

But if a woman
To ask that.
They so quick to
Ignore ****.
I have no problem
Saying in your face.
Bring your face to
Me. I’ll say it.
But there’s one problem with
That.
Some men love
Cutting off a woman.
When they are talking.
They don’t give them change
To say. What they want.
Than they love using
There inner voice.
That way the woman will
Get scared to even speak.
That’s how man
Love to control woman.

You want it to say in
Your face, give me a
Change to speak.

No, matter what happens
Stand by your partner
No, matter what happens
You take care one another
No, matter what happens
You always support your love one

True love
Is what you feel deep inside
Your heart.
That you cannot explain
True love
You stand by it
True love Is
Don't trade
Your inner soul with another
Partner
True love Is
Something you cannot replace.
True love Is
Something you cannot hide it.

I gave you everything
Myself, money and
Especially my love
Let me enjoy my life
That’s all I got left.

I want to stand behind you and
     press myself up against you.
I want to gently nip at your ear.
I want to wrap my arms around you,
     and trace my fingers over the arch of your eyebrows
     and down your cheek.
I want to outline your lips with my finger tips
     and to bring them down your neck, slowly.
I want to trace your clavicle and run my hands over your torso,
     producing all kinds of friction.
I want my hands to find your hips
     and work my fingers under the waistband of your jeans.
I want to keep you close to me,
     keep myself pressed up against you.
I want to kiss, lick, and bite
     at your neck and shoulder.
I want to make you moan.
I want to have a moment like that,
     and I want to make it last

Some people's lose communication
To families and friends
Some just put themselves out
Distance from other's
There's so many reasons
Why people don't do it.
In the world we live in
We need communication
Communication is very important
Without it
How can't others
Know if you need help