How to live as yesterday
In a perfectly natural way,
Every word that fills the page
Each concept that does engage
Imagination's highest thought
Is my yesterday's wrought.

Love Mary

I just wanted to say
That I have never met anyone
Quite like you,
Never heard your voice,
Sometimes get confused with you
But always come back to you,
You are both goodness and yourself
As we all are.


Love Mary x

Be thy on the corner
The day after tomorrow
Watching.
The days will
No longer be the same
And your love free
To travel other streets
That I will never know.

Love Mary **

There is a place I'd rather be
Where the world is clear to see
No direction, cannot breathe
Only saints are trouble free
How to wait, patiently,
For the time set down for me
Travelled all familiar roads
Came to a halt, no longer bold
All that is and all that was
Is what I gave and what I lost
For my life I say but little
I loved it so and want to get better.

Love Mary **

I like paintings with passageways
They point you in two directions
Multispectival,
Metaphysical all the way.
In my hall is "The Courtyard",
A print by Pieter de *****,
It shows two Dutch ladies
Contemplating their chosen routes
One looks outward to the world
A solitary life,
The other in humble domesticity
A child playing at her feet.
Both cut off from the others world
One wonders what has changed
Are women any happier today
Combining two distinct domains.

I guess there are pros and cons
For all us women folk
Times when life fulfills ourselves
Others when we'd throttle throats.
Children need to be born
To continue the human race
We all need to put them first
So they can enjoy their race.

Love Maryx


My four children survived their upbringing
To be creative , loving individuals .

I loved it when you read to me
Sitting together on the orange settee
Babies  fed and in their beds
Your words in my head
Images fill my mind
Travellers on a roof top climb
Comrades gathered around
Against evil to find
Gandalf was my superhero
Reminded me of you.
Now nearly seventy-two
It really has come true.



Love Mary **

The Lord of the Rings by Tolkein

My favourite book
Read to me at 16 , And again and again by my dear Roger

We had a  game on a train
Two stops far enough apart
For art .

Love Mary ***

The waves tickled the beach with their coming
Just on the turn, gathering shells and shingle
The sand was sloppy, waterlogged,
You watched me skip along the bay
A brief honeymoon in a homemade wedding dress
With the bouquet of pink roses in a guest room vase
They must have surmised our new status
I felt surprisingly shy.


Love Mary **

Sometimes it has to remain a secret
Forever.
My very dear Aunty had a lover
For over forty years.
She was never named to his family.
After her death he had only me
To share her memories.
He was very lonely for a long time
I did my best for him
Keeping in touch
Seeing him at Christmas
Going to Art Galleries together.
I am grateful for the twelve years
That I got to know him
Differently from my Aunty.
When I die he loses all contact
With anyone who knew her
And him as partners.
Sometimes it has to remain a secret
Forever.


Love Mary ***

If you came to my house
A toy room  you would see
With lots of bits and pieces
Collected by little me.

I pretend they're for the grandchildren
Who love them more than can say
But really eBay bargains
Mother bought to stay.

I have pound puppy doggies
And pound kitty cats
Tiny plastic teddy bears
In a cottage pack.

Lots of playpeople
Lego fairy Belville
But best of all the dollies
Over a hundred to thrill.

There is a police station
And a collection of cars
A garage with a lift
And a small farmyard.

The children always happy
When they come to play
Grandma's Christmas grotto
Every single day.


Love Mary xxxx

Hand in back of my dress
We wandered over the forest
The grass dried and sandy
The evening slowly
Terminating the sun
A yellow globe above the flats.
I thought of home alone
No telephone
And Ovaltine mixed with your love
Your smell of tobacco and *****
And oh those first *******
Taking me out of myself
With desire.


Love Mary **

Bluebell  and Blossom were two little girls
One had straight hair the other curls
Their eyes were different shades of blue
And they both loved going to the zoo.

Bluebell liked the Panda bears with soft tummies
And lots of fur
Blossom's favourite was kangkeroo, she fed it leaves
And a chocolate chew.

They got on the red train and raced around
Faster and faster till they found
The cage with the Giraffes big and small
Sticking their heads through the open roof floor.

Back to the train then the pelican's van
Pink and prissy making a stand
Then the penguins joined in the fun
Lots of fishes for their tums.

Two little girls growing tired
Their feet wobbled, and heads bowed
Time for home with cake and cheese
And a drink of milk if you please.


For Evelyn and Florence
Love Grandma ***

I never got out of my nursery rhyme books
Daffy down dilly is still coming to town
But wearing bright leggings and a plastic crown
Little Boo Peep has lost her sheep
But does not want to find them
**** Robin sings out of tune
But nobody tells him it is too crude
The three little kittens threw away
Their mittens and mother began to cry
And if your look in the garden
You will find Mary Quite Contrary
And Ted in a flower bed
They have forgotten their *****.

Love mad Grandma ***

He sat quietly in the parking lot
The unprotesting man
With a chess set on his knee
Radio four to please
And Beethoven spinning out the widow.

I flicked up my skirts and flew
Straight into the arms of Masaccio
Landing at the foot of his Madonna
And two angels.
The halo of the Christ child iridescent
Elation graced me, I thought
What marvellous balance
The position of these angels
Then gravitated down
To the unprotesting man
And knew this was love
In the highest .


For my Roger love Mary ***

Love filling a blank page
What it says at the end of its days
Is what two people made of it.

Love Mary x

I remember the death of my grandfather
My head filled out the spoken words
There a man stretched out, sublime,
In an upstairs bedroom room,
Unable to breath, doctor called,
His family standing at his side.
This was 1957, I was five.
My father had gone to be with
A father he both loved
And feared, felt tenderness for
and pitied.

I stayed with my mother,
Saying "just because
I do not cry Mummy does not mean
I am not sad."
With my small child's hands
I made her a cup of tea.

Grandfather was a rough, tough
Man,
Always impeccably dressed
In white shirt and a tie,
He threw his dinners at the wall
Collected greyhounds
And raced them at the White City
They all died, all six.
Gave me a shiny half- crown piece
At every visit and a razored kiss,
He was a lamplighter, fifty- six.

I loved him
In a child's simple way
Knew his heart loved
But life was tough.
My father spoke kindly of him
"Poor burger" my grandfather said
When my father took on a mortgage.
Poor ******.

Love Mary x

Evelyn came today
Only a short stay
On her way to Stroud
Spent a couple of hours.

Such a joy to see her face
Lighten up the whole place
Fascinated by her toys
Cheeky grin for all to win.

Gentle careful little girl
As she explores the world
Looks at every detailed trace
Of the objects neatly placed.

Filled with sunshine in her smile
The Beauty of a Summer's flower
As I whisper in you ear
You melt like sugar drops
Turn you face and snuggle in
I love  you sweet Evelyn.


Love Grandma ***

On the beach the children playing
In the August Summer sun
Splashing, swishing, dancing, laughing,
Jumping backwards handstands done.
Watch the sparkling and the glistening
Hear the water's gentle song
Stand together for a moment
Realise life can be such fun.


Love to Lizzie and her nine beautiful children,
Mum ,Grandma xxxx

Tomorrow is a special day
When from babyhood turns away
Little feet , inquisitive hands
A little girl in a new land.


Happy first birthday
To a dear granddaughter ,
Evelyn love Grandma **

Evelyn has got new shoes
Does not know what to do
Do not feel like her socks
So Evelyn took them off.


Mary x



Happy 1st  Birthday Darling
Granddaughter, big hug and kiss
Love Grandma x

I have a special gardener
He learnt his trade from me
Because I did his mother's garden
While  I stayed for tea.
Joyce was my special friend
And very nice,
We worked together, often,
At the hospital
On nights.
She talked of her son
At Art school when young.
Years passed away
And I met her son one day
He taught painting classes
And I learnt a lot from him.
Now I am very ill he visits me still
He has become my special gardener
With patience and skill.



Love to Ian and Joyce to dear friends
And thank you Ian for doing the garden.
Love Mary xxxx

A fairy in a dress of snow waves to the plastic butterfly,
A six pointed star watches as the painted bird sleeps
And ceramic leaves make circles in the wind.

Mr spaceman , all in red, nods to the dinosaur and says,
" If it weren't for you I'd never have seen the globe of blue",
The boy on the backyard fence cries,
And the Christmas doll lets down her hair
For the very first time.

Love Mary **

Hawthorn hangs like gossamer
May breaks into sun
Clouds raise the heavens
A new Summer has begun.

Benches line the walkways
Sounds tickle the air
The lynchpin of existence
Turns another year.

Florets of Mayflower
Meet the spreading green
Trees bend into motion
Children are unseen.

And we in our circle
Paint the world afresh
Making every boundary
A moment of caress.


Love Mary

And if he thought it he did not say
But turned away in quiet despair
As if the air had cooled right down
And only others remained to stay.


Love Mary x

I am spread out in my green dress
With the buttons updone
And listening to the music
That you played for my song
It is evening and wherever I be
You're all with me
My dear poets
I'm glad I found thee.

Love to my poet friends Mary ***

British home stores once a week
We would meet Mum and I
Would sit for a while
Share fish and chips
Feed baby the bits
Go round the shops
Not buy a lot,
Then to walk home down country roads
Across the bridge, pushing the pram
Shopping in bags.
Home at last Mum and me gasped
For a cup of tea, slice of cake,
Freshly baked.
We bathed the baby, dressed her in
A pink babygrow,
Your first grandchild, I love you so.
Begins to get dark, walk you back to the bus stop
Watching the back of your tweed coat
And sensible shoes, I feel humble inside
That this gentle lady is my mother,
Go safely, I will ring tomorrow
Love Mary .




For my mum, Grace and first daughter and child, Katharine
Maria Kearns xxxxx

We are walking with our long strides
Keeping time to the day
Finding hands beating music
As our feet skip away
And my knees take the floorway
Turn to you and say
It is now forever
That my loves here to stay
Then we join in the hoping
Fill the hallway with light
We are travelling in moonlight
For an everlasting night.

Love Mary x

Standing in the garden
Waiting for my tea
I played with the flowers
Games of you and me
Gathering all the petals
To make a baby's bed.
Scently, sweetly blowing
The roses above my head
Round and round the garden
My dancing feet would leap
Floating in my petticoats
The dress with the dainty pleats
In the dappled sunshine
Of a warm evening breeze
Just a little girl happy and free
Calling from the kitchen
A face with a smile
Tea's nearly ready
Your favourite
Cherry pie .

Love Mary for her dear mother Grace x

We part but meet daily
In everything that moves
The caterpillar and the cranefly
The fairies with dainty shoes

So what I laid out for you
In times of greatest best
Will always be before
As you get redressed

Don't look in the mirror
You will not find me there
But in the books I've chosen
And plant pots here and there


I sleep with the dollies
The ones from long ago
And all those you gave me
With your love to show.


To My lovely family
Love Mary ***

I lost my maidenhead
In a big, big bed
It was not frightening
Or particularly exciting
Waiting out the waves
I lay in myself
Wondering how long
It would go on
Sweat and soft breath
Rolling together into a ball.

Stayed all night and in the morning
Saw the room
Daylight filtered through half opened curtains;
It was nice this silence
This getting to know
For the first time, another,
A man, son and brother,
Someone's father.

You stood behind me
Looking in the mirror
My freckled face, make up gone
Showing you me;
And now we were one in some unaccustomed way
We belonged to this room
Covered in your clothes
Ornaments on a fireplace
Watermarks on the ceiling
I liked it here so far from home
Mother's little daughter did it
All on her own.

For my dear Rog Love Mary ***

So here I am like a cartwheel
With the green dress today
As my hands touch the pavement
And my legs arc away
Then I float through the skyline
Reach the ground and display
All the joy of a tightrope walker
Upside down on a Summer's day.

Love Mary **

Late in the 60s
It became all the rage
For women to wear dresses
Without any cage
Take a bit of material
Cut a hole for the neck
Sew up the side seams
You'll quickly get the nack
Put in a zipper
Long as can afford
Finish with a gold belt
How could one want more.
Everyone looked pretty
Whatever shape or size
Hid all the bumpy bits
Producing a sillth like bride
The young looked gorgeous
Even without a chest
Did not need to bother
With a bra or a vest
Nothing was as simple
As the tricel shift dress.
Never creased or wrinkled
Always looked its best
Now they are vintage
Collected by a few
Twiggy must still have some
To put on view.

Love Mary

On my wall
I have a little picture
It is of an apple
That was the sitter
Painted by an artist
As yet unknown
Living out his life
All on his own.
I like the apple
It's simple and complete
Speaks of many voices
And tastes so sweet.
I look at it  each morning,
Just as the sun awakes
Reminds me of happiness
The loveliest of states.


Love Maryx

Ballerinas are floppy things
They're all skirt  and no wings
Fairies are a better sport
Travelling the globe without a thought
Floating about is very nice
Unless you get tripped
By the old rosehip
Then ballerinas are better
Indoors out of the weather.


Love Mary Grandma

The ferry's late, we missed the last,
Running fast,
Now in the harbour, tickets clipped
Cars first, lorries and buses ****,
Passengers climb the rickety gangway
Looking down, into the murky brown,
Bags and suitcases against legs
Children scramble  ahead
Upstairs on the deck
Drinking coke
Smelling the air
Seagulls alight
We are alright
On our way over the Solent sway
The Isle Of Wight is in sight
Delight!


Love Mary x

I'm holding on and you can't come
I travel alone you hold my phone
And it rings on and on
But to answer would be wrong
And I send my love
Far out
To the world I knew
It was you and you .
And I am dancing cause I'm sad
We are together it's true
But the night is dark
I'm alone.

Love Mary ***

You know that he is looking
As the train leaves the town
The carriages are closed now
No one moves around
And your face goes down as you feel his gaze
So you drop a sideward glance
In the window pane
The scarf across your neck
Is a deep shade of brown
And it matches your hair
With its red topped crown
But you do not move
Not an eyelash blurs
Just sit in the silence as he stares.

Love Mary x

So I took the dress
Freshly ironed
The lingering warmth
Over head and neck
Letting the weight
Gravitate down
Settle around
Below my knees and
On my thighs
Where the pleats rise
The belt folds
Above my hips
Starting where the zip slips
Up one side to oblige
Pocket guides open wide
Then I turn to
And undo
All the buttons straight through
From breast to hem
Over and over
Again.

Love Mary x

I only have words
If they are of use to you
Pretty ones and silly
Ones with a lot of chew.
These words that I give
Are all I have for you
So put them in a paper bag
And open when you choose.

Love Mary x

I went down to  mossy side where the banks are green
Filled my heart with longing and cast it in the stream
I looked at the gold fishes  swooning in the winter sun
Unbuttoned my coat and gave it to a swan
My shoes were too heavy so I lent them to a boy
I'll take them for you Miss wrap them in tin- foil.
I needed some wings so reached up to the sky
Someone dropped a pair now I can fly
Remember me in Springtime when the flowers bloom
The rest of the time have a good afternoon.

Love Mary **

Wandering along the pathways
Cut between  the trees
Holding hands together
You in front of me
Watching for the ditches
And tree stumps bare
Shining in the Summer
In the clear warm air
Above the greenness moving
Against the cloudless blue
Birds and bees humming
Heron took and flew
Over tree and under branch
Still together in our dance
Find a clearing see the swings
Hear the children as they sing
Gather up my skirts and fly
Chase you back before I die.



Love Mary xxxx
Cassiobury Park and my family .

The green dress is the nearest I got
To writing a poem about sensuality
It rests in an envelope hidden
when I wore this mid-calf dress
The palest and subtlest of greens
I was aware how every seam caressed
Each pocket beckoned fingertips
The front opening's catching edges.


As I walked along the Mall
Breathing in perfumed air
Spilling out from breast and hip
Captivated by the openness of stride
I noticed people were looking
What was it that I communicated?
It was just an ordinary dress
In the palest and subtlest of greens.


I still have the dress somewhere.

Love Mary

To do your best at chess
You have to wear a vest
With a picture of a score
Could you want for more!
A tie with a pin
Helps you trophies win
Now you have a drawer
With T - shirts galore
And shelves full of more
Momentos than you can store
Two hundred chess sets
For garden and shed
And a tray with a pattern
Given by my dad.


Love Mary **

Summer meadow you are calling me
The red poppies standing as swaying trees
Heads of corn tall in the light
My dress shimmering white
I have the picture in my head
Also in my album bed
For this day of moment's power
Etched upon a life-time's file
In the shade you came to me
Held me up so I could see
The love you had and let it be
In the meadow wild and free.



For my Roger and a wonderful day we spent in Essex.in 1968/9

When feet needed no support and found brambles fun
Slid down the ravines in the local park
Forested for nuts, collected leaves to float under bridges
The stream fresh with fish.

Those hours of sunlight when time ran out energy's burst
Slipping into tomorrow with new adventures
The heart beating its chest.
For only now in my infirmity
Can I see how the time sang
And was mine for a while.


Love Mary **

Evelyn came back to me
Came over the ocean
Over the sea
Worried that she might forget
The daddy that she'd always had.

Saw her coming across the floor
Through the airport's open doors
First a smile and then a tear
Glad to have her daddy near.

Back at home it is just the same
Just as if she'd never roamed
On the settee made for three
Evelyn, Tasha, the cats and me .



Love Evelyn to her daddy .
From Grandma Mary ***

Went to stay in London when I was but a child
Stayed with my Aunty Betty always a bit wild
Put me in a bedroom that smelt of soap and lace
Decorated in liliac, that was the latest taste.
Sat in the front room overlooking the street
Books on the painters displayed very neat
Listened to the classics,  music I'd never heard
Sipped percolated coffee, never said a word.

By the grand piano a table of pretty shells
A collection from holidays in Corsica and Wales
Where there was a fireplace stood a new gas fire
Above it a reprint of Van Gogh's sunflowers
Lunch in the kitchen with a room filled with light
Yellow painted walls to keep everything bright
Plastic chairs from Heels the strings made a ridge
Susie Cooper tea cups soup with crusty bread.

Salad in a basket black pepper to add
Ice cream for pudding I was really glad
Ate all my dinner then to the garden went
Under the Willow together on a creeky bench
Wondered round the garden, listened to church bells
Thought this an unusual life no children to tell
I loved my Aunty Betty the stories she would spell
Of places on Greek Islands, her boyfriend as well.

John was a teacher, literature of course
He wrote lengthy poems and took photographs
They went to the theatre the ballet and special films
They lived not together but an hours dream
John in the country Betty in the town
Was simply perfect for them to get around
I looked at all her photos when Betty was young
The ones with her sister who also was my mum.
Although they were different alike in many ways
They both chose the sweet life but felt the other's sway
My mother had two children with little money to spare
Betty had not got any so that made her rare.

They both died at eighty their influence great
Thank you Grace and Betty you both have your place.


Love Mary daughter and niece **

Evelyn flew over the sea
In an aeroplane above the blue
To a place she never knew
With a plot and his crew.

She went to see her family there
Amongst a land green and fair
To kiss and hug those she loves
Bringing her smile the little dove.

Grandma Janet, Uncle Jim,
If there's time go for a swim
Crawling with Grandpa is such fun
Next year I'll be able to run.

Saw a lighthouse, the crashing waves
Mummy holds me against the sway
Someone takes a photograph
Be back soon it's been a laugh.

Now it's time to go to bed
Fly over the ocean sleepy head
Back to daddy and my toys
I bet he's waiting that naughty boy.


For Alex from Evelyn and Grandma ***

Everyday you took the seeds
Down our garden to feed the birds
Waiting in clusters in the trees
for the beginning of their need
The doves and the pigeons
Sparrows and magpies
Waiting for you the walk
Down our garden side.

To my Roger love his Mary **

Kisses weren't apples
But the feel of liquid
Holding on to time
Stretching out desire
To the end of completeness.

Love Mary