The garden leading to her Edwardian house
Came swiftly off the main road
The front path straight and lengthy
With bobble brick edging in grey stone.

Roses gathered irregularly along the borders
And a privet hedge lined the perimeter
Needing lots of attention in the Summer months
A few small trees and bushes broke up the space.

Every year I would visit my mother's sister ,Betty
Very different from my mother in outlook
As the front door opened the aroma of sweetness
Gathered from the year's cooking apple crop.

And so it would be a weekend of difference
Spread out as the art books lining the walls
A collection of shells, labelled with dates and places
Displayed on a trolley and covered with cellophane,
An old piano,  Boosey and Hawks, on a side wall
And record cabinets containing her favourite music
Everything had its place, still, motionless, peaceful.

Very kind of you but please this is too generous.
Staying indoors for the remainder of the winter.
Catching up on books waiting to be read.
You too must look after yourself.
Hibernating!
Love and best wishes
John


Love Mary

Mum I never a got a chance to say goodbye
I felt you wouldn't want me there
Standing by your side
I knew you would know
The end was in sight
And as never ready for heaven
It would not be right.

Dying is not a picture house
Or time  for voice transmitters
So I sat by a vase of flowers
And thought of you for ever.

And in the many years
That have past since your death
Have put you on Facebook
The place you'd love the best.

I hope I was right.

Love Mary **

Everyday we separate from sheds of skin
The crack in the drainpipe gets wider
The moon changes position
The rain is borrowed damp
And I depart from the first place
I ever knew,
You .


Love Mary x
For my Rog love Mary

When words don't do I say them still
They seem quite blind but that's unkind
Lingering around the room
Not landing in the heart
But by some gentle frame
That cannot bear them to be heard
These words I need to share.

And on and on all through the night
These words lie in me failing sight
I lift them up to tired eyes
Hoping for some surprise
But again and now I hear the words
That cannot be heard even by a little bird.

Perhaps only a few can hear my words
And bear the truth
And so I put them on a shelf
As cards that can be read someday
When the words are strong
And you no longer vulnerable
They can speak.

Love Mary x

When in my thirties whist reading philosophy books
Had this big discussion I called non- space,
In a pub in London with Ian  Pinda and a few
Family  members I'm  not sure who.

Talked about existence and how to escape
Into this place we called non-space
Alex jumped their first with his yellow book
Many years later he finally understood.

Lizzie did it her way with a humour at hand
Made the people laugh, sometimes quite outland
Katie stayed at home against all the norms
Found her own non- space in the palm of her hand.

Vicky went out gliding she  took the slippery slopes
She ended up in Watford with Thyme and a rope
To all those who try reach out for the sky
Find places hidden from other bidder's eyes.

I say well done to you the effort was worthwhile
Don't dig ditches in other peoples styles.


Love to my creative family from Mother Mary ,Grandma ***

I always wanted to meet a genius
Being not one myself
But every time I thought I'd found
Was always something unsound
A scratch or scrape in the wrong place
An area unclearly seen
That in the end
My search did end
No genius to be my friend.

Plenty in the times of old
The voice vigorous and bold
Now there is shimmer on the bough
Temptations for an hour
But that quality I do seek
Lies dormant and not complete.

When you were a little girl
I came to play each Monday
We had such fun as did Mum
Sitting at the covered table
Drawing pictures and writing poems
Cutting and sticking
Our hearts were glowing

We loved the dollies and the flowers
Cuddled up and played about
Barney came and looked around
To see if I had sweeties found
Milo in his pushchair
Dark brown eyes and softest hair
Always gave a smile to me
When I came and stayed for tea.

At your house I loved to be .


Love Mary

Thank you to Daisy ,Barney ,Milo and Katie , love Mummy ,Grandma ***

Whenever my mother went out
There was a place I knew about
Not a step too far
Up the stairs and behind the bars
Along a dark and narrow hall
My parents bedroom door.

Standing outside in my dress
Could I enter without a trace
My fingers grasped the handle ****
Twisted gently the door was fast
Found the chiselled metal key
Opened the door quickly
Stood a while least I collapse
The smell of sweet lavender plus
Stretched out on my parent's bed
Bounced a bit it must be said
The springs were rather creeky too
Wondered what they would do
Two pillows at the head
And a candlewick bedspread.

What intrigued me most of all
The dressing table mirrored wall
Creeping to the window ledge
Peered around least I be found
Intrepid invader of secret worlds (drowned)

The top drawer was the best
The others containing mainly vests
And neatly folded underwear
Stockings rolled into *****
Pulled open the heavy drawer
Began my journey to explore
Opened up the jewellery box
Placed the trinkets on my chest (lap)
A moonstone set in filigree
My grandmother's, I do believe
Clipped it round my slender neck
Held it up with great respect
Then a golden nugget chip
On a sort of safety clip
Came from a mining town
Somewhere in Cape Town.

Rings and other dainty things
Curry grips and cream tins
Powder puffs and pink rouge
Pear earrings with a *****
Letters bound up with string
Hankerchiefs written in
A little note I did write
When my spelling was not quite right
How I loved all this stuff
Smelling of my mother's love.


Love Mary x

Whenever my mother went out
There was a place I knew about
Not far away up the stairs
Behind white painted bars
Along a dark and narrow hall
Came to a locked bedroom door.
Took the silver chiselled key
Turned it gently as could be
Lest I be heard
Intrepid invader of secret world’s.



Love Mary x

Would you believe it
One in the morning
Of a Sunday dawning
A couple of kids
Thought it might be good
To travel back along the tracks
(After all they had missed the last train)
"Scary ", I thought,
But at sixteen anythings fun
Even a death run.
In a Sunday dress and shoes
Meant for prancing not stony floors
With rats and that
Into the black
(And it was when the tunnels
Neatly bent)
Not a thread of light to be seen.
The lad in front
And I behind, trembling slightly,
But did not mind,
Watching for trains appearing blast,
Into the cut away hollows' cast
Many stations we did pass
Along the platforms quick and fast,
After about six miles
Just as the sun began to smile
We two, laughing, very tired
Saw the steps cut in the side
Up a steep and grassy *****
Through the churchyard
Like two ghosts,
Along the empty, silent streets
Hoping not to meet
A policeman on
His morning beat.
Home at last and into bed
Please don't do what I have said.

Love Mary

Thank you Roger for being such fun.Love Mary xxxxbig

I saw the children who came back yesterday
Brown as berries , hair blonde sprayed
Limbs golden tan from a week in the sun
Hearts full of lightness from this year's fun.

You brought me a present from The Old Gift Shop
The one with the window and Winstanley cats
It is a glass crystal to hang in the bright
All the colours of reflected rainbow light.

Thank you children for visiting me, today
And to my Lizzie whom I love always.

Love Mary

Looking through my photographs
For an image that will last.
Having something to say
About how I lived my days
Individual not in disguise
No forced colours or inverted skies
Or those enhancements using other links
That make your mind blink.
Has to be simple not constructed or planned
Touch of serendipity lending a hand
So my new update from a photo I take
With a child's windmill and a bird on a slate
A friendly sheep , a ceramic heap
Scattering stones, last season's bulb grown
A clematis shoot ******* with string
These are some of my favourite things.
For what is beauty but a surprise
Something unexpected, a moment's desire.

Love Mary

Ruby I can hear your helpfulness
In every word and breath
Quietly you look around
Find  a mission to make sound
Quided by an inner thought
To make the way less thwart
In your silent cares
The needs of others
Always there.
A pleasure to have around
A lovely girl good and sound
Understated child
You grow more beautiful
By the hour.




Love Grandma for Ruby

A photograph captures  a heart ,
It is a sensation
A fixture in space
It tells a story but not of the sitter
Or scene that is taken
But imagination
The thrill of captivation
The concentration of inspiration,
So when you look at a photograph
It is the artist you see
Colliding with what could be.

Love Mary

The children have finished their holiday
Packed up the tent ,paid the rent
Been to the shop for presents forgot
Awaiting the taxi to catch the train
Standing together in the pouring rain
Gazing at the patch of green
Where yesterday their belongings had been
Now no longer part of life
The playground and the roundabout
The beach with its incoming tides
The chips and funny seaside rides
Saying goodbye is not much fun
Friendships made, places to eat
Treading new ground under feet.
Holidays open ones eyes
To adventures full of surprise
Takes one from the daily grind
Bringing hope and sunshine.

Love Mary

You bring the outside to my bed
In your brightly coloured dress
Hair tied back in a ponytail
You dance about in a grassy field
The sun's gone in but do you care
Dancing around in the clear air
Wonder who you think you'll be
A circus lady home for tea
A fairy with a golden wand
Whoever it is you'll sing your song.

Love Grandma for Delphi x

I told you yes when I meant no
I told you a lie about caring so
I told my dad I was shy
That you unkind
I began to cry.

He met the boy
And told him why
I did not turn up
He told a lie
Now is time to tell the truth
I'm sorry
I misunderstood
What was right
And what was strong
Not to tag you along.

You had one bad eye
And I was scared
I was uncomfortable
I am aware
So please forgive
It was me was blind
Sorry that I was so unkind.

Love Mary

Lady do you still sit in that leather chair
Where dreams are held
On paper screens
Did you know how often
Conversation turned
To that necklace
Below your face
And the downey baby
Called Grace.
On rainy days
Taken from a drawer
We saw a glimpse of
The yesterday
We never had.

Love Mary

about

I've been watching the hollyhocks for years
The tall stemmed, open petalled, plants
Colourful Mid-Summer blooms
Collected the seedheads
For others to spread
Across county and country;
Biennials so will take two years to perfect
By then my Autumn will be long gone
Leaving the bees to carry my scent
And the flowers to speak
Of a life well spent.


Love Mary

I will not know you little child
Or see your shining eyes
Look up at me.
Never trace that tiny face
And hold you upon my knee.

It is a sadness I must bear
But bear it tenderly
With a love that knows
No infinity or finality.


To Victoria and Pieter for their baby
Love Mum ***

I measure out my days
Not in the expected ways
With outings to friends
People popping in
Sunday lunch
A telephone call
But by how far
I can fly
Without any wings.

And in doing so
Turn it into
Something
Beautiful.

Love Mary x

When I look into your eyes
That gaze back with intent
Symmetrically aligned
Parallel to the ears behind
I wonder who you will be
Pondering the world you see.

And under those Speedwell globes
Is a dainty buttoned nose
You can twitch and wriggle
To make any audience giggle
Dropping vertically down
Is a mouth that rarely frowns.

And on the top of all of this
Is the fairest of the gifts
Lightly feathered cap of gold
Onto your shoulder folds
But it is your big blue eyes
That is where your beauty lies.


To Evelyn at two Love Grandma Mary **

Have you seen Delphi dancing
On the sand in the Bay
Arms outstretched to catch the moonshine
All the fragments of golden spray
And her feet scatter the sandstone
Her body sways as if to say
Listen as my heart flies skyward
On this glorious of days,
Along the beach the people gather
To watch the plaited maiden dance
Far away in her dreamland
She always gives what she has.


For dearest Delphi when she was seven.
Love Grandma ***

Read a passage by Herman Hesse
Who wrote about trees and what they meant to he.
Got me thinking about our Park
And the two trees that were never apart,
One was tall the other smaller and rounder,
They lived together in a binary state.

The Summers came and went until in Winter
One looked bent,
Slowly after melting snow the leaves began
Not to show,
The smaller tree, for it was a she,
Got cut down leaving only he.

Now in the park and proud
The tall tree has his hour
Although a singular frame
The patch of earth still remains
On which he cherished his love
The best companion he ever had.

At twilight when the light is low
He hears the rustling of her leaves
And sways a little to and fro
Just to let her know.


For my dear Roger , love Mary xxxx

By the wall sat I
Dressed spread out
Tear in eye
On my knee a baby boy
Borrowed bundle
Of treasured joy.

Love Mum

Thank you to Pam for sharing her first baby
With a young girl.

A little boy read me his story
Written slowly and with thought
Listening inside his head
As the words he learnt to talk,
Saw his head intently bent
Earnest to get the right  scent,
Stopped here and there
Could he hear a cat's purr?
So the story became about
Two cats in a scary house
A nasty character masquerading
And spooky ghosties
Going through the ceiling.

Thank you Monty for your inspiration.
Glad you want to be a writer..

Love Grandma ***

Where did you come from
No one knows
Arrived in October
Before any snow
Deep brown eyes
A splash of dark hair
Rosy and chubby
We all looked and stared.

Mummy took you home
Wrapped in a shawl,
Tucked you in bed
With the rest of them all.
Now there are nine
To wash and dress
The oldest can do it
That's for the best.

Under the Liliacs your were born
A flower fairy if ever there was
Mum named you Bluebell
To match the rest
Of the flowery names
She loves the best.


Love Grandma xxxxx

You may be born in some unsightly shed,
Or in a hospital bed,
On the floor on all fours,
Wanted, planned and loved,
A wicker cradle for your bed,
A mistaken holiday plan,
Left in a station van,
Fed with a tube
Or breast, if best,
Cuddled, coiled
Wrapped in sheets,
But however it is
You are complete.


With love to all new babies.
Mary ***

I saw your garden
For the first time in months
All the perennials had
Trebled in size
The agapanthus, by the wall,
Put out many heads
And by the fence
The large poppies
And fluted penstemons
Flutter in the breeze
Which sways the hollyhocks
To and fro
On that same windy spot.


Love Mum to Victoria ***

Connie is upside down
Head between her knees
Feet flaying in the air
Two bunches in her hair,
Connie just likes to be
Upside down
Between her knees.

( for all to see) alternative .



Love Grandma ***

With your flower name
A face pretty enough to frame
A talent greater than us all
In your sketch books
Carefully formed.
Animals are your best
In many different coloured tests.

Returned to college to complete
That ability you have so neat
And a loving daughter be.
To all your family .


Wish you wisdom in your days
Happiness along the way
Surprises that give you joy
And success as you toil.


Love Grandma ***



Thank

Hugo you are an enigma
I see photos of you and your sister
On my iPad as I rest,
Pictures in my head.
Life seems to be fun
With your siblings
And your mum
Going out to the beach
Into the waves
Darting, leaps,
Another day it's climbing trees
With your Ruby at your heels.
In the woods where it is dark
You imagine many parts,
Costumes drapped across your chest
Delphi in a bright blue dress
Piggy - backs are all the rage
Laughs and giggles all the day,
Holidays are your best
Time to play and time to rest.
Like your grandad you do look
Clever with your reading books.
I see your picture on my wall
A young boy unspoiled;
Wish you many happy hours
And adventures to inspire.

Love Grandma ***

Forty years or so ago there was a boy
Who thought life was about building towers
And plastic ships
Out of all those Lego bricks.

His hands shook at every stage
Sometimes getting into a rage
Whilst others watched the tower tops
Hoping none of them would drop
Breaking dreams , beautifully seen.

Once you have glimpsed the stars
It stays within you at all hours
In the night when the moon's alight
It goes on in delight.

And now that age passed the infant blast.
This  boy, who is a man
Travelled throughout the land
Creating timelines in 3D
For other users eyes to see.





To Alex and Tasha and daughter's Evelyn and Florence
Who are all so creative.
Alex also built a Lego room.
Love Mum , Mary Grandma xxxx

Oscar, so it's  Summer,
School ends for lost boys
And errant masters, alike,
Skipping out the doors
Books still in cupboards left
Football shed untidy
With lost socks
And punctured *****
Old paintings
Cling to the walls
Flapping blue-tac ends in
Open window jam wind.

So what will you do
In the holiday, grandson?
Write me a poem
Of your own growing
Make it strong so it belongs
To tradition, whatever that
Means from your perspective.



Look forward to it ,Oscar
Love Grandma
Second version .

love Mary

He thought he had permission
Gazing into womanly eyes.
She encouraged him
"Give her a kiss! It is Christmas"
I succumbed,  blankly,
My newly formed *******
Settling under plain top.

"He has taken a shine to you"
She smiled.
Was I flattered?
What sort of marriage
Did they have anyway?
I began to realise when
A hand under my top
Became a regularity,
Susan played with her
Toys.


Love Mary

I use to to call you funny boy
Because you made me laugh
With that wide smile
And cheeky grin
Red hair like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Clever with puzzles on the floor
Computer games you adored
Always shy when I called
School reports I could applaud.

All the teachers thought you bright
Gave you prise for your insight
But they did not yet see
The hidden qualities to be.

On your bike on the green
Travelling round with a team
Many friends you did have
Turned into a likely lad.

From that quiet and shy child
Something different did emerge
Clever , yes, without a doubt
But cared little for convention's shout.

Dyed your hair bright blonde
Wearing earrings wasn't wrong
All the teachers turned to see
Someone cheeky as could be .

To my funny boy, Kasper, love Grandma xxxx

Oscar, so it's  Summer,
School ends for lost boys
And errant masters, alike,
Skipping out the doors
Books still in cupboards left
Football shed untidy
With lost socks
Flapping blue-tac ends in
Open window jam wind.



love Mary

Found you at last! Under that ****** clock,
The hour passed,
What were you saying to me today
About our first date?
Never knew that stations
Had so many venues.
Anyway, my lad, I got there in the end
Found you looking grim,
Words did not begin
But I shy apologised
For being late, was my mistake;
Took your hand from your pocket
And we went out of the station
To a new destination
That lasted a life time.


For my Roger in his pink shirt,
And winklepickle shoes love from your Pinky Woo
Love You ***

Before you were mine
You looked after your father
Kept house for a man
Whose life was a disaster
His son, too, called John
Grew up to be a philanderer.
In a grey suit you worked
From nine till five
Thought each day
Could you escape
This noble role set down for you;
A sister you had
Married and free
Lived a life without much strife
So it seemed.
Then as it is the way with men
Who linger after the needs of women;
Frank, your dad,
Taken with a smile and money
Married and moved to the country
To live with Gwen and her mother.
Did he like it ?
I'm not sure
But laziness has its score.
At thirty you were not young
But beauty lay
In your dark and wavy hair
And eyes of hazel brown
That no longered frowned
For you married my dad
And I am glad
Before you were mine.

Thanks to my lovely mother Grace Emily Ayton - Robinson and to Carol AnnDuffy who so inspired me with her poem.

Love Mary ***


Love Mary
Glad to have you Mum

I remember standing in the hall
Feeling wet stuff
In my smalls
Did not know what it was
Told my mother
She did rub.
Years and years
Of washing knicks
Then my daughter's
Joined in quix.
Now I'm old and grey
This problems gone away.

Love Mary ***

Say goodbye for me to the window cleaner
And the people who empty bins
The man who delivers the papers
And all those parcels for my sins
Give a kiss to the tree cutters
And the people who pass by
And don't forget my dear friends
The ones who were too shy.
I've had enough of all this stuff
The pain and dragging on
My family, too, are tired of the veiw
And even the letterbox moved.
Phone calls I make
Are just a mistake
As the answers I get are insane
The best I've known are the artists
Who all have an open heart
They know there are no answers
That's why they do art.
So leave out the platitudes
Let's get down to the truth.
Say goodbye for me to the window cleaner
He's made my vision great.

Love Mary ***

It was hard telling him
Breaking the peace that was his world
If only it could be not this
But some other story
There was no choice
So with courage
She found the comfort of his lap
And with his love
He held his pregnant daughter.


Love to my dad from Mary **

A birthday to remember

Today I'm three what a surprise,
We're all going for a ride,
Off to the find a secret place,
Filled with colours, a landscape,
Inside the halls are brilliant lights,
I can walk and run about,
Mummy follows close behind,
I can even hold her hand;
Then there's music from a band,
All is wonderful I do expand;
Now it's time for home and tea,
Daddy made a cake for me,
I watch the candle as it blows,
Another birthday and so it goes.
Thank you all my family,
For taking care and loving me.

Love Grandma for Evelyn ***

Unassuming beauty
A manner quiet as May
Gentle in her kindness
Grateful in her ways
A life lived in Caring
For those that she loves
Undemanding peace maker
Saviour to the cubs.

Love Grandma Mary ***

Where is that girl
With the growing hair
And lips like cherry,
Asleep on her pillow,
Out with a fellow,
Watching the rain
On her window pain,
Thinking life over,
Taking her time
To find the right mind?
Stay close my beauty
Let the wind not blow
But rock and enfold
That girl we love so.

For Daisy Love Grandma xxxx

The light is slowly dipping
Moving from bright to dull
We trip along the road
Mum ,dad, my brother and I
Reaching Freshwater Bay
As the windows of the pub
Turn on.

The pebbles drag themselves
Back and forth on the beach
Boats, far out in the Solent,
Hooting  and shimmering
As the red sunset fills the sky,
We huddle together hurrying
Before night fall completes.


A quick dash for home
Moving fast along the country lanes
Under the harvest moon
The warmth of the day lingers
And birds put their songs to sleep
At last the line of Chalets' appear
Tucked away amongst trees.

Unlocking the door
The smell of wooden floors
Hot tea, sandwiches
A biscuit or two.
Then to the comfort
Of soft sheets.

Love to my Mother,  Father and brother, Richard,
For all those lovely holiday spent together .
Love Mary ***

The door was ajar
I stood at the front
Screaming into the night air
Silence betrayed me.

My mother's voice disappesesred
into upstairs rooms
My brother hiding his face
Petrified I could not find her.

I continued to wait
Bearing out the coldness
In my cotton nightdress.
Until the unknown took me to bed.

In the morning there was breakfast
And a vinyl Popeye toy in the bin.
My father stayed in on Wednesdays
To prevent further trouble.

Love Mary **

Sorry for the inconvenience
Forgive the trouble
Tried all sorts
To do my best
Watch me flickering
As I say goodbye
You were the best lights
I could ever buy.

Love Mum ***

Millions of stars
Budding into life
Filling the universe
With coloured light
From the exploding
New planets born
But nothing to guide
No morals formed,
Just indifference
Circles the globe
What is the purpose
No one knows.

Love Mary **