Miss Me

Miss Me Sep 2017

I opened my eyes this morning
   And still i see I am alone

No one to blame however
   Because still I would push you away

That comes natural with me
   I dare to say

It's true I need you
    but will fear you instead

It's an action i call  push and  pull
and push away again

I must say I'm sorry
   But that is my way!

I live lived this all my life.

#lonely #love #yearning #sadness #aching

Miss Me Aug 2017

No Time to Waste

Oh what a place
   I so badly want to go
Back to the years
   Of a child's life unknown

To roam and wander
    And not fear what lies ahead
Only to sing and be happy
    No matter which path you choose instead

To skip and run
   Up and over the hills
So happy to see
    That you have a life still

But my tomorrows bring only
    Tears and pain
All because of a house
    So full of such disdain

My cheeks now wet
   And salty to taste
Please oh please
    No more life should I waste

The past is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a present!

#sadness #longing #fear #sorrow

Miss Me Aug 2017

A Part of Who I am

I do this
   Pretty much everyday

Sometimes you'll see me
   Other times i dont want you to

Whether it is on the outside
   Or in the inside

Its always a part
   Of who i am

It speaks softly
    And sometimes not

It can engulf me Suddenly
    Or creep up on me

What do i do
    nearly everyday

I let my tears fall and allow
   For me some Grace

Crying used to get on my nerves until i realized its part of me.

#crying #sadness #feelings #expressing

Miss Me Aug 2017

You really do not know

Let me go
   To where i will never be known

To laugh
   And play with no such shame

To the fools who claim
   They know you better

*******, *******
    You must not know any better

#struggle #anguish #ignorance #shamer

Miss Me Jul 2017

COWARD

I absolutely know there is something
hiding within me
It lays low in my soul which keeps my spirit at bay
Oh how i keep aching for a different way of life
Yet i cant get loose from its choke hold
On my heart
I could see death in the reflection of myself this morning
And yet still I cant put the
glass down
that keeps that part of me hidden
I plead for it to show itself
So that maybe , just maybe i can get beyond it
I am resisting the urge to rid myself from the creature that refuses to come forward
What a coward it must be for it is not I but IT that preyed upon me
What lays ahead I never know
but hope somehow
It beheads you
YOU COWARD

Please know me

#predator #coward #depression #resistance #anger #hurt #sadness #vulnerability

Miss Me Aug 2017

Don't Leave

I must write about my saddest day ever!

The day you left me over and over!

#abandon #sadness #loveless #loneliness

Miss Me Jul 2017

My eyes

I just looked into my soul
  I stood there lost in the stare of my eyes

Oh lord
  Help im falling

And what if when i hit bottom
   Thats it all i ever know of me

Trust me
   Just run!

#afraid #lost #fallingindepression #mask #insideme