Miss Me

Miss Me Jul 2017

Am I

I turn and glance
And she does it too

I lean to test me
And she pushes me right on through

am i
Am I
am i
AM I

At the end

Only feeling this blue at times
I will never succumb to these atrocities!

#feeling #suicidal #depression #theunknown #scaredtoknow

Miss Me Jul 2017

The Haunting WHY

Why do i feel so dangerous
   When i ask the simple why question

Its hidden and tucked and pushed
    Just outside of my reach or should i say my mind

I want to like the me inside
    But every glance of her
She simply spits and spats
    In my direction

I think she hates me
    I don't blame her
But again i must ask
    The same **** question
Why?

Fear is always with me. And i dont know why

#fear #dread #blocked #unknown #scared #depressed #seekinganswers

Miss Me Jul 2017

Whispers of the Night

Loneliness smothers me in the night
  My mind tired of the ride
Blissful thoughts
  Are not even a trickle

I whisper sadly
   You should JUMP
Then loneliness
  Shall be no more

I cry to myself
  I deserve more from me
How did I get here?
  Is what i ask

I cannot remember
  This day or night
For it takes its stroll
  Right through the light

Only to leave me
  On this same old path
How did i get here
  Is all i ask

There is not
  But just one ride
I answer myself
  Just hold on tight!

#sadness #loneliness #depression #isolation

Miss Me Jun 2017

Bye bye my ....

I opened my...
And then I felt my soul leave
And never did it return
To me

I searched high
I searched sober

Then I stopped searching
Altogether

I thought when I wrote this that it was a strange one indeed! Now reading it again sometime later and looking, and hoping , and learning, I now see what I was trying not to. (****** abuse)

#****** #abuse #**** #disassociation #addiction #searching #soul #looking #hopingtofind

Miss Me Jun 2017

Roll the dice

I ache to roll the dice of pain
Over and over

A sad die, lost die, lonely die
Help me with a new lover

Lost somewhere gambling

#gambling #daring #losing #mania