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I get Maam-ed in blue jeans and sir-ed in a dress,
so I usually go with my Utilikilt and let them guess.
I despise the social construct that puts me in this position,
and I will fight it until I win  or I cannot take the derision.
I could fill multiple volumes with more detail if you want them,
but unless you ask I won't just vaunt them.
An excerpt from my brief autobiography that I penned to go with the anonymous trans survey, as usual, I didn't even realize I was rhyming until I proof read it.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of it taking more mental energy
and self confidence for us to go out in public,
than it does most people.
I don't blame a person, or religion,
its much more than that.
I blame society in general, its peer pressure,
It's structure designed to keep everyone
in small boxes, all thinking the same.
I blame manufacturer's for making every item
we buy gendered male or female,
Just to sell more and make more money.
I blame the media for its lies and ignorance
when reporting about us..
And I blame us is some ways for allowing it.
I blame myself for not doing more,
but I'm just too tired of fighting, struggling
and having to do it all again tomorrow.
I'm Transgender.. And I get tired.

by Lj Mark 2015
In my eyes, I'm drowning

Always waiting to be acknowledged
Moulding myself to be the way I should be

Nice and quiet, just the way you want me
Open eyes, closed mouth
Tired, so tired of this facade

Asking just for acceptance

Grinding my teeth at the little digs
Impossible to make you happy
Running from the way I'm supposed to be
L**augh all you want, I can't change me
We were on the train,
Traveling from Amsterdam back home.
There was this adorable little kid,
He asked me to play with his toy car.
We played for about fifteen minutes,
Before his mom said he had to go,
The little kid was so upset and yelled:
But I want to keep playing with that boy.
He made my day.
He was closer to the true than everyone else,
Correcting his so called mistake.
That adorable little kid made my day by calling me a boy,
And for now one person is enough.
I was so happy. I was wearing my hair more masculine or boyish and wore my dad's sweater because my little sister had already claimed mine.
I am lucky,
I am,
Though I don't always believe it,
To live where I live,
With the friends that I have.

The law of this land,
Is comparatively fair,
They won't stop me being me,
Or from growing my hair.

I am lucky.
In fact,
That I may gain support,
And that any surgery I need,
Will be completely free.

In this country,
In general,
Attitudes are better,
Than almost anywhere else,
And I'm mostly protected.

I won't be arrested,
Or tortured,
Or whipped, or hung,
For wearing what I want,
Or being with a girl.

I won't be kicked out,
Of my home by my parents,
For though they may not understand,
Or agree,
They're accepting

I won't be silenced,
Or censored,
Hateful comments are rare,
And my words can make a difference,
Without risk.

I was lucky,
I was,
To be born where I am,
Though it's not quite perfect,
I am free enough.
My entire heart rested with a young lad,
Who desired a body different than the one he had.
With physical features that didn't match,
His inside self, which couldn't be snatched.

But beauty revealed itself in his eyes,
Whenever he was with the one who dispelled the lies.
I know beauty when I come into its embrace,
And boy, that beauty emanates from the smile on your face.

Things are hard, and you just don't match,
But that's okay, you're a hell of a ******.
You're entitled to my beating heart,
Where you've definitely become a part.

Please don't fret for future days,
Keep staring into my loving gaze.
One day it'll all change,
And happiness will be within range.
Love is such an incredible thing. We all have this idea of what love is fed to us throughout our lives; when we are birthed into this world, we experience love, see love, are taught about love. But it's hardly captured properly, I think, in books and films and other things.

    See, loving another person is almost an undescribable thing. I know that I would do anything and everything, change anything and everything, be anything and everything for for the person I love. When I first started dating my boyfriend, he called himself by a different name. A society-deemed "feminine" name.

    His whole life, everyone referred to him as a girl. Told him he was a girl. They made him behave accordingly, and told him it was wrong to act the way he wanted. They mocked him for displaying any sort of behavior that was deemed "unladylike". He learned to not trust them because they refused to be what they needed to be: supportive.

    I started hanging out with him when he still identified as a girl. At the time, he still presented as a female, but despite me being gay, I became instantly captivated by him.

    We had been friends on the internet for a long time leading up to actually spending time together. We had a foundation, we had stories to tell and memories to share. I remember there being a spark; it didn't happen when I first saw him, for I did not fall in love with his appearance. The spark happened when I began interacting with him and realized that he made my heart happy in ways that NO ONE had EVER been able to achieve.

    We started dating. At the time, I was out as "bisexual". I use quotations only because I'm actually gay, not because bisexuals don't exist. My family accepted him, but believed him to be a girl. Hell, I believed him to be a girl. A masculine one, but still a female. But then he went through this period where he identified as gender fluid, and then, eventually, came out to me as being fully Transgender.

    I'm an accepting guy. My heart, as well as my mind, is open to so many things. It didn't matter to me that his body would be changing, for I hadn't fallen in love with the body in the first place. I am gay; I seeked him out not for his body, but for the person behind the mask, who loved me unconditionally and aided me through all of my life's struggles, of which there are many. I accepted him, calling him by his pronouns, his new name, and doing my best to make him comfortable.

    I experienced fear, but only because his body and voice - which I'd grown so accustomed to - would be changing once he began transition. I was worried that he would become unfamilliar; but one thing doesn't change: a person's heart.

    Ultimately, I learned that it's my duty to be there for him always; I learned that my love needs to be steadfast and that it can't waver. He needs me just as much as I need him; we serve as life-lines for each other, and can only thrive with each other.

    Love, to me, is blind to gender. Although I'm gay, and am only attracted to the male body, I fell in love with a biological female. I knew that I could spend my life with him like that, a woman, because I cared infinitely about him. Now, I know he is a man, and nothing has changed.

    I will encourage him and support him until my light stops. And even then I hope he clutches onto me, hears my voice in his ear when he's burdened, and knows that I loved him unquenchably and irrevocably.

    That's love.
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