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I don't see how you can walk through these halls with a smile on your face,
Because even after all of the struggles that you've faced,
They STILL think you're a disgrace,

Because you look in the mirror and you never like what you see,
But you take in a deep breath and count,
1
2
3

The scars on your arms,
They've mainly faded,
But I know how they came to be painted,
Because you used to go by a different name,
And they still call you that,
So when I say 'Derek' they say 'Derek who?'

Because you look in the mirror and you never like what you see,
But you take in a deep breath and count,
1
2
3

You look down on yourself and declare 'I am a boy'
Because your body gives you no other choice,
And poor Derek who used to go by another name,
You try to tell them but it's all in vane,
Because Derek the boy was born in the body of a girl,

And so you walk through these halls with a smile on your face,
Because even after all of the struggles that you've faced,
They STILL think you're a disgrace,

And  you look in the mirror and never like what you see,
But you take in a deep breath and count,
1
2
3

That year was so cold
As cold as that winter that wouldn't end
All I remember about that year
Was how little I fit in anywhere
How I connected with no one
How I sat alone at school
While in a room with 40 others

I lost count of how many hours I spent
Alone in my parents cold garage
Sitting in my car that needed a new motor
Watching the snow fall from the window
And the breath rise from my mouth

All the times I sat staring at a handful of pills
Too broken to go on, but too scared to sign out
Caught in endless torment, with no future in sight
Half of me not caring anymore
Half wanting so bad to hold on

I never imagined I'd survive that year
Or the next, then 5, and 10
Or have the life that I have today
But I am evidence that all of it's true

And giving up too early in life
Is like throwing your cards down too soon
You just might be holding a king or a queen
But it might take you more time to know

by Lj Mark

when I'm looking at you
and you're looking back at me
I wonder how
the gods were
able to shrink a thousand
stars
into those eyes and
I wonder how
an entire galaxy
can spread throughout
the palms of your hands

how I wish you were just the
sands in the ocean
within my reach, easy
to grasp
or the trees in the mountains
where I could wrap my
arms around

but there you are
yes, beautiful and
shining bright
but from where I stand
too far away
to hold

too far
away

I have everything I've always wanted
But the feeling doesn't go away.
My eyes, my heart, my head are exhausted
I'm not used to feeling okay.

And those moments, when I feel like crying,
When I close my eyes and feel alone,
They haunt me down, and I'm shivering,
Scared that those problems will always be my own.

Life has never been perfect to me
And I don't believe in miracle.
How crazy would it be to be free
Of feeling afraid, lost, horrible ... ?