I'll smoke this cigarette
And think of you
My one regret
Wish I could forget
One day I will
And that'll be a sad day for you

The way your eyes light up when you say my name,
the way your lips curl when you come in for a kiss.
The way you hold me in your arms so I feel secure.
It is all i can think about when you are not near.

You, my dear, are everything I've ever dreamed of.
You are more than I ever thought could be true.

I feel I have finally found my missing piece, my other half, my soulmate.

You shine brighter than all the stars in the sky,
and you make my heart beat faster,
and faster
andfasterandfasterandfaster
than ever before.
My stomach fills with butterflies,
my heart turns into a knot.
And my soul feels complete
because of you.

She remembers them,
as if it was yesterday.

Shaking.
Screaming.
Hitting.
Scratching.
Herself.

Sh­e was out of control.
She was afraid.
It was a terrible thing, really.
A girl once in total control,
spiraling out of control.

She was drowning in fear,
fear of herself.
As she swam closer to the top,
the monster inside pulled her down further.
She could not get up.

Water.
Filled.
Her.
Lungs.
She.
Could.
Not.
Breathe.

Wishin­g the water would take over completely.
This state in between living and not.
It is not a way to be.

They say to take deep breaths,
but as she prepares for the air to fill her lungs,
water flows in.
They said she would be okay.
What is happening?
What is going on?

Yelling.
Crying.
Screaming.

What is going on?!
She wants things to make sense.
Everyone around her is afraid.
They try to comfort her,
but nothing works.

She shakes in her own skin,
with no where to run.
She cries and she sleeps and tries to get through every day,
just hoping it will get better.

This rain cloud looms over me
It's shadow follows me
It keeps me on edge
Ready for me to jump over the ledge
Is there a way to make it disappear
Where it came from is still very unclear

Only Three Types
Of Drugs I'm Trying
To Stay Away From
****
Alochol
And You.

Are you in the right house?  
Look inside yourself to see. . .
Which 'father' are you serving?  
The one of ******* or the one that's free?
Is it a house of pain or a house of peace
Are you considered one of the most or just one of the least?
Does your father love unconditionally or does he require works?
Are you His child no matter what or does condemnation lurk?
Just address your heart, is it heavy or is it sad?
Does what you do make him happy or do you just make him mad?
Does he ever ask you to work or to die for your sins, too?
Or does He love you so much that He came and died for you?
Can your house be replenished daily from His 'ocean of mercy' or His 'sea of grace'?
Or does he throw your problems back at you - constantly putting them in your face?
You'd better check your house, this would do your soul well. . .
You'd hate to get to eternity & find out your home is 'Hell'!