Show me your scars
Tell me your fears
Let go darling
Because its safe here
Lay your lies out in neat rows
And let them disappear to dust;

Alone
To me is home
I let the music flow through my veins
And my hate dwindles away
No stress, no paranoia, no screaming or hateful words

I am alone.
And I guess I'm bothered that I don't have friends
But I guess that's okay also
I've become everyones doormat
Sure, I'll buy you this
I'll listen to your petty problems while an (unmentioned) family member of mine does some more ****
But in my head, I scream as loud as I can for just one person
One
Person
To hold me while I cry
And tell me that everything IS going to be okay
And that all this IS going to be over soon
But I guess we can't all have what we want, right?

If you saw me at a funeral would you hold my hand
if you saw me dancing would you come over and ask for a turn if I already had a man?
would you swim across a lake if you saw me on the beach
how far would you go to get me in your reach?
abandoned all alone, stuck in a castle, behind the gates of hell
would you embark on a quest for me if I sound the bell?
If you saw me falling through a dark abyss,
surrounded in pain, that will always exist
would you try to save me by pressing your lips into a kiss?
If you looked into my eyes would you  bear the same pain?
or would you walk away just like the rest and call me insane.
would you see the girl trying to get out
the endless heat causing my life drought
would you take one look, and walk to me
and stay side by side, and guarantee
you will make things better

What I would give to be the shadow
cast upon your paralyzed body
from the dim light shining through
the cracked window of your quaint flat.

What I would give to be the oxygen
filling your heaving lungs with new life
keeping your nightmarish reality alive
while you're lost in your heavenly dreams.

What I would give to be the one.
The one to bring you out of the shadows of doubt
so you no longer need to close your eyes to escape.

Mind and Spirit conflicted
Want and need, where's the balance?

Conscious and subconscious
The battle never ceases to exist.

Why must they always struggle?  
Is peace unattainable or just far removed from this moment?

The unease feels oppressive and all-consuming
But there must an intervention,  a truce,  a way to relieve the anxiety.  

But for now there remains a struggle, an internal argument.

Everyday I approach the ongoing challenge between the psyche and the self.

Perhaps things shall change.

My body craves yours
Holding me so tightly
I remember it perfect.
Close my eyes, picture lying down and tangled legs.
Soft and passionate kisses.
Kisses that meant something. That let electricity flow.
That tell me forever is true
That tell me exactly what is written on our necklaces
Love knows no distance.
People disapprove of us, but we are in love.
Meant to be.