I miss you
There I said it
Those words I promised to keep a secret
Locked away in my heart
Yearning to see the sun
To escape and tell everyone
My deepest secrets
And as I see you with her
Its then when I realize
I was stupid
And wrong
Because I remember
Your kiss
Your soft kiss that made my heart leap
When your soft lips connected with mine
And they danced
Oh they danced
Like two lovers dancing the night away
Because even though they both knew they should leave
They had each other
And that's all that mattered

I stay up at night thinking about the first time
You said you loved me
And I remember
The way your eyes lit up
After you finished forcing the words out
Because even though you meant every word that left your mouth right then and there
You were nervous
And I remember that because
After the words escaped your mouth
You kissed me
But this kiss was different
This kiss was so much more
It meant so much more

And I couldn't help but laugh
When your nervousness got the best of you
And you tripped
And we fell
You on top of me
And I remember this
Because it was then that I knew
You were all I need

And I so desperately wish I could have that back
But I ruined it
I was wrong
It wasn't for the best
I just didn't want to be broken

So now I get to sit here
Watching you be happy with her
Doing everything you did with me
But that's how it works I guess
So I'll just follow along with the script
Because its the only thing I can do
And its all I will do
For the rest of my life
I just have to face the fact
That I am and forever will be
*Heartbroken

I have a question. What is real? Should it be based on what you can feel because now feel can be touch or emotion, I feel the suns warm rays the same as I feel my heart break and no one can tell me or you that either is not real because we can feel so I ask what it is you feel? I for one feel imprisoned by the Mold society has put me in as a man I have to be handsome,brave,loving, trusting and understanding but at the same time because I am a man I am by default a conniving, cheating, abusive, alcoholic, womanizing pig, why? Because " we are all the same" such caprice why? Why is it I must feel ashamed to be a man why is it I must be everything you want and don't want, the light of your day and the darkness of the night the Prince Charming in your life fairytale as well as the villain with the apple in my hand ,the apple of my eye is that what you want? I feel as if I'm just the means to an end the end being the moment I yield to this mold these confines in my mind why do I have to feel like I'm the enemy? how is it my fault? you're the one who laid in the sands of his beaches indulging in that forbidden fruit from the garden of eden, your tears now fueling its sea,  but all i hear are your cries of betrale his name the lyric of choice but I see, I should take the blame its what is wanted of me the good guy but the moment I deviate from your plans I am the evil one I'm the reason for these broken hearts mine and yours I'm the devil can't you see the flames you set In my personal hell in my mind in my soul
why is it I'm a mockery?

we are in and out,
we never call the next morning,
we flirt with other people
and we break each other's hearts.

we are casual and careless
and pretend it's all a game
because it's all we know to do
and we don't have another way.

but the stakes are high this time
and I can't hurt you anymore.
so I choose you, I'm all in,
and I will be forever yours.

I am through with playing games,
I am laying down the cards.
it is your turn now, my love,
but you've already won my heart.

Dearest you,
It's hard to put into words
The feelings I get
They make my stomach turn
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
At the end of the day
You're the best I'll ever have
We talk about forever
We both think
We'll end up leaving each other
But let's not get ahead of ourselves
Let's live for this moment
However,
When we think about our long lives ahead
There's only one image that comes to mind
Only one way in which we'll spend our time
Only one we can imagine marrying
Only one we can imagine loving
And that's us
You're my best friend
That'll never change
From here, we'll only grow
And we will continue to exchange
Love
Kisses
Laughs
Smiles
We have it all
Every day, I continue to fall
Thank you for being you
My dearest
I love you
That is all

i told you i was happy
that it was the weekend.
you then asked me why.
i said it was because i
have been deprived of
sleep lately and you
replied with a sigh.
you said i seemed tired
but then you asked
if i was okay.
i said im not to sure cause
its changes every day.

you asked me if i knew why i
couldnt sleep lately and i
honestly said i didnt know
why.
hmmm would it be wise
to start calling you adam?

r.a.

You told me you loved me
                        and kissed me like you meant it..
                                          
I've trained myself for next time,
                so the next kiss
                                       will mean nothing
                                                         because all I ever was to you
                                                                                                   is nothing.