I am forever marked
My body has the scars
Of a thousand wounds
But there is one
That stands alone

A permanent friend
Arrived from a cheated trust
A gift that keeps on giving
A reminder forever
Assigned inside

Scorn from my mother
Oh she made me cry
Cried and cried some more
Her looks of shame
I was her badge
Her blame
But not for me

It's my shame, my pain
It burns as much as the gift
Wrapped in my package
Not plain, wonderfully curved
Brilliantly long, exceptional and dark

I told a man once
He was so kind
It warmed my heart
He saw past
Although nothing there
I doubt he remembers
He loved me past that

But when it came to choices, plan
I made mine without him
My mother always said
I have up too easily
Quit, without effort

My mother, jealousy enraged
Stubby fingers deep in my life
Her victim's mind
She wanted me, her slave
When he stole my heart
She plots and plans
Stolen away

I cannot go back to him
Not again, that one good man
Embarrassed like before
But now, for pride
I stare at the phone
Willing it to ring
Crying some more

I will not call
I cannot talk
I hear that song
It breaks my heart
My tear never dry

He would take me close
Hold me too long
Have my precious love
He would say, see?
I love you more
His words mean nothing
She drove me, I'm alone

Everyday I wonder
I miss his kiss
Every morning
His arms around me
All night, he loved me more
I could never tell him
I could do nothing more

The flames roar high
Teasing heat, the devils game
Chorused demons wail
Fires dance without light
Moonsung only light

Angels scream in songs
So beautiful, such hatred, rage
Fighting claw tipped wings
Buffetted winds in storm
I look above to see
nothing but
Bloodied feathers falling

This is the heaven, or maybe hell
Promised from pulpits, pastered mouthes
A place of torment, shattered light
A place of hell in heaven's
crusty, fallen shell

God looks down, a sorry state
His face of sadness, little interest of late
His angels, fight, die, and procreate
the demons angels
themselves delete
No peace for or
For other

Not the heaven I wanted
Nor God of power
He placed me here
To gaze up, writhe
Past hate
Final revenge
A soul's debate

Its not fair!
Screamed from broken lips
Defied His words
His council
His fate

I watch these feathers
Bloodied, unworn
float to down to me
So beautiful, such a state
Float to me, come down

One, slides on down
Touching, brushing my face
A touch of heaven
Of peace, knowing
He turned his face
I cannot blink
Cannot hate

Bound by hand and foot
Taken by the beautiful
And disgusting at whim
Less than a battlefield trophy
I stare at his face

Mine is eternal ****
Bathed in fresh blood
My legs spread wide
I am torn deep again
ravenge over and over

Forced to see His face
sins of my pride, beauty, and ***
He never looks my way
But kills his angels
Their feathers
My bed

A romantic life is too much to ask
the princess becomes the queen
The tedious gruel of thee day to day
A fairy tale's lost
another childhood dream
Broken by expectations
Worn thin by morning

I often said he didn't know love
My precious prince
who saved my life
But he learned
and weathered

From before dawn
to after sweet dusk
He went to war
And I fell to my ways
He came home to my mess
I abandoned his love
But he had learned

He took my fire
as lover's might do
kept me safe
maybe too much
I fought, kicked
Screamed, to no avail
I wanted out

The slavery of the day to day
Even if he slaved for me
A princess shouldn't
be bored with life
Be slaved to home

Always angry
always fear
I could not trust
How can you
All alone?

I couldn't love
Mine, was not true
But he came home
Day in and day out
Love yous everyday
All meaning lost
except to him

My rock of a prince
But he was not fated for me
He was too slow
He gave too much
I broke his rock
His love to sand
Water comes and gone

He taught me
far too slow
That my love was false
His love was true
His was I to know?

I was raised in pain
Broken dreams
Waiting princes
And tales of undying love
Why was it mine that wails?
mine, to find not enough?

So long I travel
Stumbling along
Broken knees
Twisted ankles
wants and needs

Worn through
My shoes are worn
A testament to wear
No longer protecting
Just to hide my toes
On and on I go
Hiding me

My baggage is great
Its weight, cumbersome
Hairy, ugly and mine
My children, they cry
My men, they leave
Driven before me
I seek, they die

Fate for my pains
My mother, she binds
Taking me closer
Tying me to her lies
Shackled, dependent

Stolen dreams, for her
Artists' dreams gone bye
Peace in the memories
Her beatings, won't die
Her guilt made mine
A pawn til she dies
Slaved, ***** my mind

Years ago
I spoke my mind
I took her power
Crushed her spine
Stood, myself

Freedom was hard, broken fine
But glass became diamonds
And to heal, so hard
Her whips are lost
Her leash now gone
I got my freedom
My chance to cry

I wear these boots
Because of the ride
To walk on my own
Such a journey's home
Walking on broken glass

Its late or early
The wee hours have come
my mind, ashambles, my mind arace
I think of the past, relive all moments
My passion, alust

Its a chemical thing
I am my own drug
Want to rage, throw
Tantrum and moan
Scream at the world
So unfair
My own

Chances have come
and then they have gone
My path, I realize, only now
my wasteful own
why me, why this

Some have told me, again and again
Time for this chance or that
but I fought, stubborn in my bones
Argued for spite, for independence
unknown

I want what I want
Need for my own
He said its not done
My dreams just ahold
My will not my own

My youth was spent
Independence so broken
I rely on the leash
The teather of the known
I lied to myself
Not brave, and scared
To my soul

He pushed me so hard
Beyond my will
To shatter my strength
But creating grand art
Desires yet unknown

I couldn't see, would not stray
All I know, destroys his trust
I built the wedge
To break what I love
to deny my soul

Marriage is, as they say, not easy
One, two, three have come my way
a blessed cheater, the first
the second, a liar and a cheat
The third showed me my soul

To see bone's soul, and then to cringe away
is a difficult way, who I thought I was
Then stark relevelations, a bitter taste
Its a marriage, blending of souls
My efforts were like that of the fairy tales
In the last, I expected, but did not give
I didn't know how to love

I didn't know what love was
we fought, leaving hearts ******
Torn, ragged and scorned
But he always believed he could
He was an elemental
Nothing could stop him
He would not fail

I broke him, like so many other men
His dreams of us, because I had none
Crushed his plans, because my future
Always so bleak, always so failing
he could not live in my world of dispair

He had a poet's soul, beautiful
Grand, it made me pale
how could he be so sure
so confident to a future
Together, I so frail
I had to break his,
My reality, his not real

I bent him slow
My mind's strength and glow
Made him crooked,
Stretched and broke
Turned him, roasted

The blending of souls
My deepest dream
All I wanted
All I need
Stolen

I spent the time
But not the work
I did not know
that princesses
Must work

Nothing more
Just a being
Yearning for joy
For freedom
For worth

Never that someone
You hoped to be
Never that one
You wished you were
Not worth more
Than the ache
between your thighs

When you see your worth
It wont be in a reflection
No mirror is worthy
your mind, it lies
a soft, quick lie

From the mouths
of the past
Deaf to the cries
The words spoken
From true life's kiss

I kiss his eyes
wish him well
He is not for me
Too good
Too well

Broken, my mind
but yet he stayed
My wraith is broken
against his faith
against his belief

Not in God, nor man, nor machine
he loved me deep, I drown in waste
he pushed me hard, against my will
told me tough, taught me well
I left him far, made him dies

I'll leave just now
his kiss in my lips
he gave me his love
I taught him emotion
I taught him pain

I was simply born
Nothing but pain
Suffering and distain
I give you new birth
Twisted, my worth