That
You don't have
To be the perfect idea
Just that you
Give it your all
And make sure what you're
Doing

In between the five minutes of bliss
Lingering just long enough for a song to play
Would be a pool of depression
Drowning any thought that dared to swim
Beneath my hollow eyes
A body half dead yet half alive
Dragged through the day just to release
My desires back into the abyss

Concrete the paper
My feet the beat
My brain the pen
Sun the inspiration

Always Comparing Myself to You

Like why am I not good enough
Why am I not hot enough
Shut the **** up right now
Just let me rip my ****
You call me then hang up the phone
Said lets get lunch then forget
Every time you post
You are higher up than before
Reminding me that I'm a *******
That just happened to be on your foot

Let's be honest
Like more
Masculine
*******

Like more
Treat like
****
Stereotype

Like more
Comfort in
The television
Screen

Fake phone numbers
Fake smiles
Fake stories
Fake truths

Like more
Of what's less
Stare into fake
See what's real

Do tears make you blink
Or thoughts of diamond rings
Soft lips softer kiss
And skating rinks

Tear bite size pieces
Off of you for me to eat
A whole meal would just leave me
Empty and incomplete

Like lines from the worst song
Your voice lingers
Like a cranberry
You’re sweet but also sour

**** your drunken threats
Incomplete thoughts
Incomplete *****
Is all you ever gave

A time for change
Times are changing
Wake up and open your eyes
I’m wide awake and outside

A poet
An activist
A lover
An organizer
A writer
I sharpen my tongue
And clip my nails
My weapons laid bare
For all to see
The prose I speak
Is meant to move mountains
Shift policies
Change laws
Tug hearts
Deafen my enemies
My words are all I have
And I will give them to you
Friend or foe

Always going back to back
With shots to the liver
Never thought of what might come

Always lost bring myself to the giver
Asking to be forgiven
And for life unknown

Always ended up getting paid
In full
Confidence, violence, and inflated egos

Can we please play truth or dare
What are you really here for?
Leave forever

Someone to motivate us in our life
Someone to believe in us
To support us
And tell us to do what we think is right
To pull us up
To say that it's ok
That we can do it
Even if we make mistakes

Someone
Like poetry

Like what use am I
What can I even contribute
Always second guessing myself
Always always
I never think
I'm good enough
It hurts to say the truth
Sometimes
Because sometimes
I just can't say the truth
When I really need to
Self doubt
Self loathing
Self anger
I just want to help others

I know we grow up on
The backs of
Our mothers and fathers
Our hearts containing
The fire and love
Of thousands before us
Those who struggle
To be even stronger
Are the lights that guides us
When everything
Is thrown into chaos

It was the most beautiful thing
He had never seen
Four corners
Sharp in appearance
Staring back
He blinked
And it blinked
He let out a long breath
Fogging the vision
Wiping it away
He smiled
The most beautiful thing
He'd never seen
His reflection

Wasting my time
And wasting yours
Whats the point
Of insidious actions
Pure hate
Because you
Pretend to date
Something that isn't
Even you
I guess that's what makes
It easy to hide

I bring my heart
My soul
My music
You can play the fool
I'll be me until I can't

I just want to treat you right
Someone that I actually like
Someone that will stay the night
Who doesnt leave before it turns light
In my dark times
I look for people i can fight
Ones that **** up my life
That don’t care what’s inside

This liquid lady
Makes me fall in love
With all that turns
From solid to liquid
As surely as she does

Taking rage
And making something beautiful
Grasping thoughts
That bounce around the head
Pinning down
The most cherished
The most hated
Thoughts
For clarity
Penning down
All that is inside
And around us

She resented him
Because when he was after her
He already had a girlfriend
Ignored his calls
Stopped coming around
Years later
Passed him by
Resentment digging deep

She ran from him
Because she heard he was seeing another girl
Judgement calls made
Wanting to be the only one
Running back to the boy she was seeing
Years later
She puts on a smile
And walks by

She ignored him
Because he had too much time on his hands
To sit and think about her
No one else allowed in
She was hidden like a secret
Talk of the present and future
As intoxicated as the state of love always made
He never saw her again

I have been dreaming during the day
And sleeping at night
The sleep is to make the dream eternal

Wake
Up

You have to dream

Ive talked too much ****
Thrown your name in the dirt
Like you did to me
We'll never be
What we used to be

Now I sit thinking
About who we used to be
What we could have been
Before you took a bat
To this glass house

I guess tears and anger
Only get you so far
When love unraveled
In front of us
We watched it die

Its always revolutionary women

Organizing
Working
Leading
Taking charge

Denouncing
Ignorance

The business
You work for
Is lucky to have you
You are a human being
Living, breathing, thinking
Without you
Nothing
Gets done
And I mean nothing
The machine does not operate
On its own
Where is the energy?
Who built it?
Who runs it?
Who turns it on
And off
You are a human being
No person
No machine
Can replicate you
No matter how hard
They try

If I can't
Find through
You
Then I guess
I'll find through
Some fill
I think the
River is the
Fastest way to
Get to love
Now
I delete
Words I
Can't say

No Text Back

My phone stays silent
For days and days
Even though I text you
You don't hear me
I guess that's what I get
Blocking other people
Only wanting to talk to you
What goes around comes around
Make up excuses
Six days later
Your fingers find your phone
Your phone finds me
The sad part is
I'll text you back
Saying how are you doing?
That I've been missing you

First come the roses
Then come the fears
Followed by ecstasy
Wrapped up with tears

Arms are tight
Lips are soft
Until the fights
Rip large holes

That sweet smile
Starts to disappear
Friends start to whisper
Before it turns to thin air

One taste
One touch
One mic
I hit and come
Right back
I bleed
I leak
I need
Fiend

Like a wide open
Gaping wound
That I just
Pour salt in

But it makes me
Happy thinking
About the thought
Of you

Yet you'd watch me
Bleed
And I still
Miss your face

Even though
You'd watch me
Drown myself
I cry

I cried
Seeing your
Old pictures
Our old love

And I just
Want to see you
And tell you
That I ******* hate you

I loved being with you
Everyday was like a dream
Right after it happened
Feeling so serene
Every kiss with you
Was like the sweetist dream
Thoughts of sunrises
And golden fields
Are what dot
All my memories of you
Reading blankets
On rolling hills
Smoking bongs
And little bottles of champagne
Falling asleep under the sun
Falling in love with the thought of you

Letters on a screen, pages in a book
Letting words be the guide
Words of my own, words of others
Allowing them to take the reigns
Fearing the unknown, navigating the future
Let words paint the actions
The guide that is read, the guide that is heard
Words

It seems unfair, sometimes
How you make me feel
And then you leave me there

I blame myself
Addiction is real
While I stare at you, empty

I blame you
Pain is real
While I, desperately, search for your warmth

My friend introduced us
But we are no longer friends
All I have is you

It touches my lips
And I go under
Like rolling thunder

I take a deep breath
And try to escape
How I feel the next day

Whats left of
Love
In the city

When all the
Real people
Are pushed out

Left with stuck up
Obnoxious
Elites

More interested in
Designer jeans
Designer sheets

Than with
A heart that beats
Compassion and life

The gritty
The ugly
The poor

Are simply
In this city
No more

Whats left of love
In a place so barren
Void of life

Everything as it should be
Everything familiar
Everyone family
Wrapped up
In this perfect moment
Cherished
Not to be forgotten
Just as it used to be

Cry like a girl
Cook like a girl
Dance like a girl
Smile like a girl

That night when I dropped
Acid on my tongue
I transformed into
The softest rose

Line your eyes
When no one's looking
Paint your lips
When no one's looking

When I was four
I picked up a tampax
Confused about why
There was no where for it to go

Fighting myself to come out
Fighting to be who I am
Fighting to be comfortable
Fighting for myself
And for those around me
Loving myself as I am
Loving my fears and my mistakes
Loving my faults and tears
Loving everything I thought I hated

I have 30 different friends
They all sit in the fridge
I only take them out
When I’m killing them
I have 100 different friends
All sinking in a bottle
I pour them all out
When I hit the throttle

Kids grow up
To be adults
Who are kids
With more authority
                                      power
                                                    clout
                                                               and sense of entitlement

Keep trying to be
Something I’m not
How haed can
It really be
To be true to yourself

Trying so hard to be
Someone I want to be
Myself
Be myself
In the person
Who is the best of me

After friday
Saturday
Sunday
Comes me
After the lights
Come back on
You remember
My number

The most beautiful part
Can be the things we don't see
Those things we can't touch
And will never know about
The story behind the painting
The meaning behind the words
A life exists in every creation
A life of its own for others to perceive

I took her
To a special spot
So we could share
In each other's embrace
Some place private
Away from the clubs
Noise and havoc

Feeling full of life
Until I trip on your wire
Set in the underground subway
My third eye goes blind
The sight of your gaze
Leaves me quesy for days
I came down here alive
But leave hollowed out

The best part of waking up
Is when I get to fall asleep
Running lifeless in my dreams
Barefoot in the streets
Time kills my life
When all I want is peace
Lifeless in the AM
Until I grind up some trees

I cut my teeth
In the back rooms of therapists
Learning what abuse is
Learning about forgiveness

Preparing for roofs
Or notes to parents
For the after life
And my last breath

Sickness and distress
A scream from hell
Grab my heart
And never let go

Find comfort in death
I’m still learning how to live
I try to live my truths
But just as often fail

Remember that with life
These things are what it’s worth
I’ll kick and scream
I can’t stand to be me

All these
Cute
Hippie
Chicks

We're more interested
In learning about one another
Than in fighting
One another

Hippie kids
Used to smoking ****
Hanging out with friends
Falling in love with lovers

I have been thinking about
Dreams
And what they mean

Have you ever had a dream
That changed your whole day?

I have
It makes the dream
Feel
Real

I loved you
Back when there
Were more questions
Than answers

I miss the old us
The kids who were happy
Willing to sleep outside
And hide inside

I miss the days we kissed
Because there weren't very many
But they seem to be
Forever far