Soft tales
Of a life relaxed
Got your job
Pay your tax
Raise your kids
Buy your shack
Get a ring
Grow intact

Hard tales
Of a life off track
Started young
Saw the cracks
Fought for justice
Got pushed back
See the face of the homeless
Never forgot that

Going in alone
I feel blind
More used to you
Being by my side

These days
I take deep breaths
Just to keep
My head on straight

One step forward
Five steps back
How long will it take
To get over you

New sucesses
Other failures
All things that I miss
Sharing with you

Running
Running from the truth
Im not really sure
What to do
These days
Told one thing
Then learn another
Tricked in the end
Without a mother
A father
A sister
And a brother
That I cannot
Fathom
The life of an immigrant

Taken for granted
Grant your last wish
That every time you think of me
I will be around
Friends, family, work
No one respects what you give
All taken up
Everything left in a sloppy mess
They roll you out like the mat
Expecting you to be pristine
Willing to get walked on
While you smile back
Take me for granted
And I will grant you one wish
You will be all on your own
When I'm gone
When you're the glue
They take you for granted
When you're the light
They forget the darkness
What's the point of a smiling face
Too eager to please
If you were gone they would forget
Take you for granted lack of respect

It has been some time since I thought about this
Since I lost that chip
On my shoulder
I did not know that I had to leave
To come back

Home

           Is
              
                Where                          ­    Is

            The

Heart

It's real easy
To **** **** up
It only takes
One
Thing
Blink
Sink
Rust
At the bottom

Rectangular shape to my heart
Bring out the sharpened knife
Cut it open from left to right
Pull out your insides for me to see
A love letter written in red
Directly from you to me
I'll melt seeing your words on a page
Waiting for the day I can see you again

Cover yourself
With smallpox blankets
Fill your cups
With lead filled water
Meet on land
With oil pipes underneath
Eat the food
Delivered from colonies
Give no thanks
To any oppressor
Give all power
To the people

There is a room that exists
Right next to today
It is a room of tomorrow
To be encountered by our future selves
The room is full of new people
In a new place with new surroundings
Looking in the room there is an old friend
The only one you recognize
There is barley any space
But the old friend says to come in
There is laughing and partying
Many new people many new faces
But right outside the room
There is another group of people
Separated by a door
They are sitting on the ground
There is no room for them inside
They are also new faces
People you have never met
There is laughter and conversation
They don't look shiny like the people inside
There are more edges and bumps
More insecurities and less self-esteem
But there is also more life
There is an undeniable reality
That does not exist inside the room
Where do you go?

Terrible ***
More awkward
Than a latex dress

A ******* mess
Empty bottles
And signs of distress

Unwise bets
Loveless ***, lots of girls
More regrets

I know what you feel
I have felt it too
I try to be there for you
There is an uneasiness in me as well
But I try and clear the fog
Because I can't lose you
I will be there for you
When you runaway
I'll come find you
You are my best friend
And I love you

I spent all day
                                                          Stuck
In a dream

When I woke up it was dark
And my eyes were
Shut

It's a shark tank
Out here
No one really seems
To feel anymore
People looking to clown
Or something to down
That isn't really
In their heart
But in their glass
And we shatter
How much longer
Can a generation suffer
First there was online dating
Then online break ups
Now we turn this
Into a game
Swiping
People's faces
No, no, yes, yes
Like a bunch of
Shallow, fake
Faithless, fakers
We paint up our faces
Then hide inside weakness

Actually trying
Is much much much
Harder

Actively lying
Won't get you much
Further

Love
Is
Blind

only because

Love
Is
Blinding

When I was with my old girl
Back in 2009
I remember laughing talking to her
On my phone line
Saying that I would never ever
Get with you
That you played with my friends too much
So I never would have slept with you
And as I put her mind at ease
I thought to myself
If the time and place came
Would I fall to my knees
I remember I laughed
And laughed and laughed
I would never get with her in a lifetime
Never say never

Paint light around my eyes
Two rings of life
Shine brighter when it's half full
Lighten panic that keeps my chest tight
Exaggerated feelings
As the rocks melt
Your heart does too
Until the potion dries up

I pour, sit, and sip my cup
Wondering how I got taken
So far away from myself

The words don't flow as freely
The liquids are trapped in the bottle
Living life with less feeling

The paint thinner
Was self destructive
Blow up your liver

I am empty
Empty empty
A bottle once full
Spilled on the floor
A feeling that is fleeting
Still searching for more

Dear the wildest one
That I never won
I tried my best hand
At the races
But I came up short
Too many fours and fives
No aces

Dear the warmest one
I chased you away
You kept me close at night
Like a mother would read
To a son

Dear the violent one
I tried and tried
You decided to stay
You lost your mind
I guess I paid

To always get
Whatever
You want
Is an ugly
Privilege

You wouldn't believe how good you are at
Being yourself
Being exactly who you need to be
Without any doubt
Knowing what's wrong
And what's right
Knowing that deep in your heart
A fire burns
Against injustice and oppression
Let your desire to fight
Guide you
You've never sought blood
Or war
In the end it's love that gives you the light
Don't forget
Fight

Little stupid
Little play around
Giving no *****
About anyone
Except yourself
Think you're hot
Till you're not

The things that we do
For ten seconds of bliss
Search for it in beauty
Not empty bottles of ****

**** your east coast weather
And your east coast snow
You were hot like the summer
Until you turned cold
As a matter of fact
You were never that dope
**** peppy cheerleaders
And **** your SO
Calling me up
On my cellular phone
Asking when I’m around
And if I’ll be home
Travel all this way
Pretend you’re alone
You left the Bay
Now you’re giving him dome

I guess that I miss you
Like I used to miss you before
Before we knew who we really were

I miss seeing you
Like ten years gone
Now I’m begging you to stay

Your hair still curly
Your smile still holding back
Exactly what you don’t want to say

That the last time I saw you
Our lips locked on that red couch
You were dating someone else

Like every time I see you
You’re still able to break me down
Something always slips out

You’ve been on my mind
I know we’re both just passing time
But would you come back just to see me
I always just want you back

In a world
Of broken relationships
And dating apps

I've honestly
Forgotten
What it means

To care about
Someone
Else

To make
A good
Impression

To take it
Slow
And wait

To wait
And see
What grows

I'm just
Too ready
To throw it away

I guess I should
Just take my time
In trying to find you

Except that every day
I feel my heart break
Thinking about the time I waste

Maybe that means one day
It will finally lead me to you
The time I spend wishing I was asleep

Stuck in the worst dream
I feel tears stream down my face
Hold my hand while I try and escape

Stuck between wasting away
And going out to struggle
For the people
Always for the people
Break through this prison I create
Weighted down lungs full of liqour
Liver full of rust
Hangover next morning’s kiss

You came to me
Like the sweetest dream
I’ve ever seen
Or ever be able to see

Lately, I’ve been
Missing you
And everything you brought
That I didn’t have

Please I’ll ask you
To come back
Let’s pack up
Leave, things you’ll never see

We like making plans
But never execute them
You like making friends
I'm not as cute as them
So you tell me to go with you
Across several states
Stupid me I'm naive
I thought this was a date
You cancelled me
Like the order
You'll never
Recieve

He makes my heart beat
Feels like I'm losing my feet
These days I'm too discreet
Lying to myself
And others around me

He makes me feel like me
Masculine enough
But the sweeter man
Blond t shirts
Backwards caps

He makes my knees weak
That look on his face
When he turns to the side
Did you know
That you're so **** fine

Yay I can post poems again...
Wasn't working for a while

Drip drip
Lips left silent
One wish
Don't waste it on tonight
Summer bliss
Forgotten over snowstorms
Remembering again
Holding your hand

I've been so selfish for the last year
Pulling out my hair just thinking of you
Happier lost in bliss than parked on your lips
The time has come for us to move on

You climbing on top of my body
My hands around your waist
Your hands on my chest
And my stomach

Pull you in to me
Kiss you on the lips
On your cheeks
Squeeze you as you sit on top of me

Six years ago flys by in my mind
Can I really stand to see you go again
Holding you my hands all over your body
My heart was racing for the next 24 hours

These city streets
Illumuninate at the touch
Of anyone who even
Cares to see
Everything that lies beneath
Kept secret by the little beats
Of hearts that bled
For you and me
To remain here
While they paint dollar targets
On the backs of the poor
As they shut the door
Once and for all
On everything that ever
Made this city cool
It’s heart and soul

I fill my lungs
Come back to reality
The feeling in my hands
Returns
The filling in my heart
Turns soft
My hardened glare
Is willing to smile

Am I dreaming
Or am I drinking
Rusty thoughts
Keep me from thinking

Leaving home
The tunnel shrinking
As i run away

Loving little thoughts
That you send
Forging small responses
To wet your pen

When you feel fresh
Fresh faced
Faced with fresh challenges
Willing to forget
Trying again
Trying something new

A lack of sympathy
A lack of empathy
A lack of understanding
That is not difficult
To understand

The inability
To see anything
But yourself
Your own prejudice
Cripples you

I guess I’m dreaming about you know
After I wake up thinking about you
I have to go back to sleep
Just to be with you

Hold back
What you have to say
Like shakespeare
Please make it go away

Light up
In the depths
Of my heart

Darker than
The heart of night
I blaze

I set trees
Ablaze
While music plays

I dance away
The day
I made

That moment
When you realize
That you are
Nothing special

That there's
Someone else
That there's
Always someone else

To replace you
To be you
That has
What you don't have

That moment
When it sinks in
That you are completely
Human

I cheated on you
I slept on the floor
That night
You kicked me out
Of the bed
But you still
Hung your hand down
For me to hold
Later that night
You let me back in
The next day
We went to San Francisco
As planned

Got all these sweets
But no one to give them to
Got a lot of time on my hands
But no one to give it to
Feeling pretty lonely lately
Hope to confide in you