Graduated college
Worry bout retirement
Planning how to waste
The time in this life of his

Follow the heart
Wherever it takes you
It is yours
It knows what it wants
It beats for you and only you
Others will spit lies
With callous tongues
To drag you away
Far from your beating heart
Until it is so lonely it stops
Trust your heart
Don’t abandon it
It beats for you

Night folding into day
I barely feel awake
Turning one page
Revealing another

Stumbled through
People making
Superficial relationships
That crack like ships
Under the pressure of time
Forget who you are
Forget what it means
A dot in the past
Built on this foundation of quicksand

On Valentine's day so it happened
Their lips for the first time did meet
Wrapped in his arms they slept
The next morning a goodbye to the cheek
So began a rocky path
But a path to go down nonetheless
Both suspicious of the other
For others they did undress
To her a close friend
That they did both share
To him a close lover
Someone already there
So a battle was fought
In silence of the heart
One of jealousy and contempt
And unadulterated thoughts
That battle became
The wickedest of affairs
A contract signed in blood
A relationship of errors

There is a person
With no home
With no money
In a big city
Sleeping
Right behind
TV News Trucks

I saw her
I saw her from far away
As I turned the corner
Legs skinnier than straws
A body put in a vice
Again I saw her
In the grocery store
Staring at the aisles
With that blank hunger for a fill
The one where it's depression grocery shopping
What to get
To binge and purge
She was skin and bones
All skin and bones
Covered in a loose jacket
With items in hand
At the checkout our eyes meet
I've seen them before
In a sister
The pain of the
Belimic purge
Memories flash
Bathroom flushes
After a raided kitchen
Pleads of laxatives
From the hospital bed
Skinny ankles
Skinny wrists
In heavy times
It's easy to turn on yourself

Jealousy's a monster
A mother ****** beast
Take its *** down
Beat it up in the streets

Take a deep breath
And get yourself in check
Take a look in the mirror
Before you bounce back

We could lose it all
Right before we lose our minds
Let the cord stretch
And cut it off just in time

Sometimes I stumble around
Sometimes I feel like I have lost my ground
Sometimes I wanna let it all go
Sometimes I feel like watching
Yet the only thing that I've known for sure
Is that I am sure of the things I am unsure
All the time walking around getting bad vibes
Reading this seeing that knowing what's for real
Do I wanna trade in my piece of mind
Do I wanna give up my time and desire
What does it take to fold in this self sustained world
A bump, a rock, a car, self doubt or self serve
All I know is the things I don't know
Thinking I was right, thinking thinking
Gave me some insight to my own assumptions
Now I give it up just to give it back
What does it take to lose your mind
Be stuck in your grind the only thing you find
What does it take to let people down
Instead of beating your head on the ground

What is your worth
What does it matter to you
Feeling useless, laid off

Does it matter to them
To see you happy
They never asked, if you have kids
To feed

What is your time
Worth
To you
To them

Can it be so easily spent?

Walk outside
There are holes in the ground
Many say white only
Some say Black only
Others say Chinese only
And we jump into them
It's time
To pave the streets anew

As a child he had a fire in his heart
As a young man he kept it close to the start
As an adult now he falters in his words
He has forgotten his path and his heart
Troubled with the lack of dollars
All he sees now are diamonds and bills
Suppression of mentality
It makes me weep

Sounds of
Hurried steps
Pound the pavement
Making me nervous

Is it better
To take it smiling
Or give them hell
I do both
I think it is healthier
The smile
Gives you piece of mind
Knowing what you have guarded
Your rage, anger, judgements
It allows for internal reflection
What was done, how it felt
What it means
Finding calm in a storm
In a smile
The hell unleashed
In freeflowing thought
Is unmatched in its sincere devotion
The heart guides the tongue
Releasing what storms inside
Unapologetic for the truth
Laid starkly bare
Words rip like lighting
Across the medium
Open the book
Then close it

Its hard to love someone
You dont respect
Especially with relationships built
On alcohol, drugs and ***

Its hard to not fight
With something that you regret
When all that you think of
Are things you cant take back

Following in the footsteps
Of our parents
Is not an absolute
I found
Some want to grow up to be like theirs
Others don't
But end up in the same place
The realization
That you are dodging the footsteps
But still stuck in the shadow
Will set us free
Hold on to what you love
And run into the light

Here I am
Staring at a portrait of myself
What has time painted
What memories are to come

The City in the abstract
People are fearful
The night, the dice
The vice, the crime
Come here and see
We live and bleed
On the streets
For each other
For each of the others
Kept out of the burbs
During the time of GI's

Now that the bleached
From the burbs are moving
They try and run us out
Try to clean the streets
With words of hate
Eyes of division
Tastes too expensive for
Us others
They claim the remedy
To clean these streets
For their pleasing

But please I beg you
Don't you see
These streets were never meant
For you
They were never meant
To be clean

I'm already beat
I just want that silver or bronze
Who wants it anyway
Straight from the top to the bottom

Walking over the homeless
Like everything's fine
Like they're just a part of the landscape
Like a crack in the asphalt
Running over our minds
With useless thoughts of grandeur
Everyone wants to be the best
Not seeing their brother and sister on the street

Maybe the first
Child gets overloaded
With expectations
Extra weight
Carried
Not felt by
Brothers and sisters

I hate that feeling
That grows
In the pit
Of your stomach
Head spinning
Weightless
A tornado
Thrashing in my chest
I stick my head
Over the toilet
Waiting for the anxiety
To fall out

I know those reefs go real deep
Real cliche like a bad metaphor in Hawaii
Let it all bleed all over me
Thoughts like blood that won't crust
Just breath and believe?
Seems nice and easy
Simple pleasures for simple people
No, let's make this real confusing instead
Thoughts of death, even on paradise island
"Paradise" say that to the broken and exploited
Paradise at the expense of everyone else
Happy ******* birthday
**** everything and run
Fear the best thing I've ever done
When do you stop running?
When your ankle gives?
Or the bottle
**** it like a baby and cry when it's gone
What makes it feel better
Hearing trauma ****
Yes, please, please more
Tell me how **** up you are
I'm intimately interested
I don't care how strong you are
Let me see your guts bleed from your lips
Makes me feel a little more human
I guess it's a little too humid
Everyone on this island a little too
And it's little too
The worst things
The ones that **** me
Are what really can bring me back
So choke me out
Throw me on my back
But no head after that
Just punches to it
Just frontin too
I'm soft as ****
And you can't handle it
Either can I
You like music
But didn't want to know how I make it
Well guess what
Not much to do with you naked
I eat lunch off thoughts
And throw up the rest
The best sleep I get
Is with a numbed out head
Then it's finally lights out
Alcoholics like it better with nights out
Nights in
Party alone and **** alone and be alone
I'd much rather prefer
Don't really care
About your needs wants or desires
If I can just light my own fire
I don't care to make amends
I'd rather make end plans
Jump off the ship
And cook in the fire
Let it burn all night
Until I choke

A cutie
A friend
Somebody
To do
Funny bunny
Cutty buddy
Things

Painted green
No eggs and ham
Number "33"
One 12 oz can
Once from glass tanks
They do flock
Old Latrobe
The Rolling Rock

Put the ciggarettes down
Pick the **** up
Let your lungs heal
The mind filled with poisons
No more
Cleanse and reflect
The addiction
Addiction
Addiction
Is manufactured
3x as addictive
Guaranteed
For you to lose money health
Put them down
The singing box
Opens like a juke box
But you always know the song
It's one of skull and bones
Let's pick up the green music
Play loud
Smoke on
Without the death of those around you
The love will surround you
Let it in
The herb is good
The smoke is good
Blow like trees

Treat others
As if they were your most beloved
Person
From your favorite
Novel

Time must move forward
For anything to progress
Or change
There is no skipping
Fastforwarding
Or going back
Time must pass
Before anything else can
This is a reality
But there is a way to slow time
To try and sort things out
Before they pass by
Take a deep breath
Inhale
Exhale
Who says that we cannot live forever
In each second

Hollow sounds
Ringing out
In front of
Homes
Hollow words
Spewing forth
Defending
The Boys
Full of life
Taken suddenly
Because
Just because
Full of hope
Life beginning
On the way
To college
Hollow points
Hollow motives
Pop Pop Pop
Just like that

She takes her clothes off
Only for herself
He keeps his mind off
Everyone else
She keeps her promises
With no one to tell
His mind is weak
Open to spells

Let's take this like
The above ground train
Slower than time takes
At time you can plunge
Like water dip your toes
Feel it creep up on you
Keep your hands out the ***
Take a hit of the same
Relax and let me plate this
Let me paint this
Before you frame this
I promise you there won't be much
To miss after you hit and I split
So hold me tight while we fight

The soul bird city sleeps
While my dawn dust eyes peek
Cracking open as my window
Light flooding out of my eyes
Dream-scaped colors illuminate

Unconditional love
Given without pause or thought
Feel it in your veins
It's what brings us to our knees
Love for a stranger
The refusal to fight
A brother or sister
In this or another life

When I first came in
I was a little scrawny
Not the type of day
That would shine light
Until I met you
And noticed your desire
Then I hit the gym
Push push push
Tried to emit
What I sought to imitate
For your own sake
I thought I could satiate
I sure was consumed
Muscle n all
Spit back out
Licking my paws
Now I'm stuck
Sweatbands and tearglands
Inflated
Defeated

My #1 dropped off
Was getting too topped off
Running around my house
Until my face fell off

My #2 became 1
Burning like the sun
Killing all my thoughts
But still wanting to run

My #3 took its place
The city by the Bay
I live and die for the people
SFC no other equal

My #4 moved away
She hated the ******* Yay
I still love her to this day
But it’s better off this way

My #5 fell from the sky
An angel in disguise
She’s my ******* Queen
#1 one day she’ll be

Things change
They say
Little do they know
History writ large
The formula
Cities must embrace
Lest we become Detroit
Cause no one lives in Detroit
Right
What's wrong with money
What's wrong with change
You mad cause I made things pretty?

See what you don't see
Are those things that hurt
Everyone you see
Your dollar signs
Pushed people away
That you will never see
So you'll never really know
What change means
When change is just chump change
To the game you're playing
To the souls you're taking
To the paper that subdues
Your conscience
Or maybe
You just don't get it

The steps outside
That trace a fear
An aching in the heart
When your own consciounce
Betrays you
Leaves you to be consumed
By untempered thoughts

The things you love
You’re taught to hate
The person you adore
They say “not him, not her”
The poison you down
They all cheer
Societal constraints
Inner fear

Workers
Are pawns
In a CEO chess game
You live or you die
For someone else's gains

The company will sacrifice you
It will beat you
It will feed you crumbs
The worker begs

Your boss smiles
With a knife in your back
Twisting it
Until you smile too

In all these steps that we take
We'll discover the mistakes that we make
Every single day that we walk
We learn new things from the people who talk

We all just hope to move on
Get over things that went wrong
Never look back
And move on forever ahead

At times I find myself blind
Not seeing friends family or lies
All collecting up the pieces of myself
That I've left behind

In the end I'll apologize
Tell every single person that I lied
And that I never meant
To hurt someone like you

How often do you
Ask yourself how
Much you are
Worth

How can this or
That about me
Be used to
Sell myself professionally

Forget kindness
Forgiveness
Etc
For the sake of life

We sell ourselves
Over and over
Until we are
Dead or expired

I bought a fish
And watched it swim for days
Put in a little bowl
Swimming its life away
I wondered what it was like
To be so incomplete
Alone in a bowl
No world at your feet
Consumed I became
In this solitary way of life
One hand to feed you
The other to give you light
It wasn’t before long
I started to grow gills
Locked up my door
And said goodbye to the world

What's in my head
It's not pesticides
But it cuts as deep
All in my head
My body starts to leak
Zombiee

What to fight
For
The viet kong
Never slurred an
American minority
What to fight
For
The individual need
To succeed
Talking about
Fighting for the life
Of us in others
What is a breath taken
That can't be given back
Why hoard something
When sharing is what makes you feel
Alive
Talking about fighting
For what you believe in
Talking about democracy

As this instant
Melts to time
I am wondering where I am
Before
After
I am taken above the clouds
Then dropped back to the mud
I thought I could hold you forever in this memory
But you are fading with me

The further down this path I get
The more lonesome I feel
Friends begin to get stripped away
Slipping through cracks in our lives
Family is dwindling
Either departed or moved away
My body even turns on itself
Breaking down healing slowly
To find space in this world some turn to jobs
But even those are few and far between
Though the road is lined with beautiful flowers
The concrete I walk on is cold hard
In my mind I do take refuge
But imagination can only get you so far