your cherry lip gloss packs a punch.
i never wanted to sober up
from that punch drunk lust.
prom night while i lie on my left side
i hear tinnitus flirting with my right ear
she breathes into me heavily
the memory that you've been here and
i'll never feel pain like that again.
so i'll bite into my own lip until i come to understand
that wet metallic sensation
and the throbbing skin that
is passion.

To you, love was about multitudes
To me, love was inordinate

“I love you” I would say
“How much” you would ask
-Lang Leav

You like specifics, you like to hear
How much I do, how much I can
But darling, my love is inordinate
I couldn’t quantify, it’s too lavish
Sometimes unconscionable
And multitudes is never enough
If you ever ask me again
I’ll ask you to count the star
On every galaxy
Until you loses track
I’ll ask you to count every grain of sand
On every ocean floor
Until you ran out of numbers
I’ll ask you to listen to my heartbeat
On every second of the day
Until the infinite of infinities ends
And if ever you asked me again
Of how much I love you
That’s my definition of “how much”

my love stands on rooftops with a megaphone. it screams at the top of it's lungs to an endless melody. it's everything i am and everything i want to be.

my love tells him to stand still for a minute, it tells me not to think for a minute. it says that we can be so much if we just do and stop waiting. my love is the feeling in his throat when he tells himself that he is finally too far away to think of me. i know, i know.

my love does not care for his past. it holds his previous days in its hands but its the big spoon to the little spoon that is his future.

my love is a light in the distance that he can somehow touch with the palm of his hand. it's warm and soft and careful and it'll reflect into his eyes the next time he looks into mine.

my love doesn't wean or wane, it remains a full moon, so next time he looks up at the sky, remember: there's always a reason i am alive, and when i met him the reflection in the waters, the pull of tides, they showed me why.

is this the end? or a new chapter
caught between despair and rapture
I want to seize what I have been given
let go of the past and be forgiven
if karma is a bird I never meant to harm her
it spurs me on
the chances I make
my foundations shake
but i know I am made of tougher stuff still
I know I have strength of will.

What used to make me happy,
Has died and left me here.
What once was always with me,
Is no longer near.

The memory of vibrance,
I saw within his eyes,
Is still in my head
but fades as time flies.

I remember back to when I saw
the smile upon his face.
When the world was in his hands,
Now he's gone without a trace.

The earth claimed him for her own,
Just a body hallowed out
Nothing's left of him now
A memory, a shadow, a doubt.

I too am fading,
Slowly slipping away.
The feeling of letting go,
I do not want to stay.

He paved a path for me,
Easy and clear before my eyes.
I know where it goes,
And in front of me it lies.

How easy it would be,
To take this clear cut route.
I'd follow in his footsteps,
Be a girl all hallowed out.

it’s the way you catch my eyes when i look at yours.
it’s how your eyes bore into the back of my head without my knowing.
how you’ll be behind me, standing there as your presence grows.
though not a word you’ve spoken to me,
the drumming of my heart grows louder and stronger every time you pass.
no big gestures were needed for me to fall more and more for you.
all i needed and ever wanted was to have you near me;
not touching me, not kissing me with your soft lips,
not telling me romantic sayings,
but just there.