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 Feb 2015 Tana Young
Emily
We're sitting on this bed kind of thing in a train. You're propped up on some pillows, your hair's all messy, your ****** hair all grown out, you can barely keep yourself awake. You keep trying to play with my hair and you just end up rubbing my back, your eyelids drooping and your posture relaxing. You hold me leaning against your propped up legs, and you finally fall asleep.
I'm facing a wall and I have some chalk, you've been talking in your sleep and I've been drawing what you've said. You start speaking in iambic pentameter and I laugh to myself. The train rocks and you wake up, only to ask me what time it is and fall back asleep. My watch is in a language I don't understand, so I shrug and go back to the wall with what are now paints and a brush. You trail off into mumbles and I begin to hum. I've finished the picture on the wall with your words and you smile, the sun dancing on your face as the train tears through the countryside.
We go through a tunnel, a tunnel with windows. I flinch and feel dizzy, the tunnel and the train spinning. You're awake and you reach up to touch my lip, you pull your hand away, your fingers covered in blood. The train lurches and I give in to the gravity, head hitting the wall and blood splatters ruining your picture.
You whisper something to yourself, and get up, all exhaustion gone. Someone opens the door and fires a crossbow at everyone in the room. He gets to me and I look at him, the crossbow is empty, and something tells me it always was. A man comes up behind the assassin and asks, "All clear? What about that one?" Referring to me. The man replies, "She's already gone." For the first time, I didn't know what he meant. As they close the door the second man puts a hand to his ear, "All clear on level X." The door closes behind him, and I turn back to you. You had your hand on my shoulder and I had mine on your shin, but as I turn your grip slackens and you reach up to wipe away some of the blood from my face. You flinch at the cut in your chest, a cut that wasn't there before. I sit up and look around the room. All the white jumpsuits around me are stained red, covering people who aren't breathing anymore.
Now we're wearing white jumpsuits and yours is slowly changing to scarlet, coming from the **** in your chest. I start to feel lightheaded from smelling all this blood. I look back at you and your eyelids begin to flutter, you force them open and look into mine. Your thumb strokes my cheek and you say, "Save them," with all the pain of endless suffering in your voice. You finally give in to exhaustion, and from your injuries I'm sure you're dead. But your chest rises and falls slowly and you still shift in my direction, seeking comfort like a cold child cuddles his mother in her bed at night. I try and wake you, you don't budge. I hear yelling and rushed steps down the hall helping my panic set in. I shove your shoulder, call out, I don't want to hurt you but I won't face whatever the hell this is alone. You simply won't wake up. The door slams open and before I can turn around I feel a sharp pain and as I look down I notice something shiny and red is protruding from my chest. The pain returns as the tool disappears, only to be replaced with blood slowly turning my jumpsuit red. A voice behind me scolds, "I told you X was clear." Running footsteps grow faint in but a moment. My own eyelids flutter and I fall into your embrace, you shift, adjusting the comfort of your position. I hear sirens approaching the train, from where I'll never know. I awake in my bed, surrounded by blankets and a sharp pain in my back. And I can't find you anywhere.
My mom always told me if you tell someone the dream you had you won't have it again. So I'll write about my nightmares.
 Feb 2015 Tana Young
Emily
Compliment everyone that walks past you in the lonely hallways
2. Smile at everyone you pass in the crowded ones
3. Sit cross-legged even though you're wearing a skirt
4. Dance when you find yourself alone in class and you're waiting for the computer to load
5. Greet people you don't know
6. Wear that shirt that you love that everyone says makes you look fat
7. Wear converse with your dress
8. Wear your hair down no matter how bad you think it looks
9. Skip your homework and re-watch your favorite movie
10. Laugh it off when it stresses you out tomorrow
11. Cry at that sad part where you always try not to
12. Eat a bowl of ice cream even though it hurts your stomach
13. Go get an application at the place you never think would hire you
14. Sing in your car as loud as you can to that song you can hit all the notes on

15. Thank God for everyone you know whether or not you love them

16. Pray for their hearts
17. Pray they find Jesus if they haven't just yet
18. Pray that everything you did today brought glory to The King

19. Love everyone you meet every hour of every day
20. DON'T waste your time here
It's a gift that someone died to give you
1:10:15 1:45 pm
 Feb 2015 Tana Young
Emily
I had this story in my head
I had this story on my heart
Where you were with me
Even when it all fell apart

I couldn't picture you with anyone else
But Satan is sweet
Giving me memories that never happened
Like the remains of your kiss on my cheek

I told myself I didn't care anymore
Oh a long time ago
But whether this is real
Or a joke
I'm not laughing
I can't get you out of my head

See I had this image
Where we ruled the world
We were just, brave, and true
You were compassionate too
We raised the heirs to the throne
To be as such

One time I had a nightmare
The kind where you wake in a cold sweat
You were asking people to help however they could
You were getting married
To the loveliest of girls

You wouldn't look me in the eye
Not even when I cried
I woke to tears and shaking hands
I prayed that it would never happen again

I tell myself that all I want is your happiness
But then I turn and think that I'm the only one who will make you so content
I want to only think of you when I see you
But I can't get you out of my **** head

GET OUT

I want to sleep
I'm tired but now that I've opened these floodgates I don't know if I'll shut my eyes until dawn

I have pains in my stomach
I feel knives in my ribs

I want you to love me
But you can't if you never did

Take these thoughts from my head
Give them to her
She's done something to deserve them
She's not just a convenience
Like a mat on which mud is scraped from boots
She's in the right place at the right time to love you and to have you love her too

So now again I feel empty
When I told myself I never should
I feel like I've been used
Though you never touched me like the other boys would

My thoughts are muddled
Like the feelings in my chest
As I lay trying to sleep
One day may I find rest

Now I'll stop rhyming like an idiot
Climb out of the valley in my heart
Find a boy one day
Who has the guts to tell me whether or not he loved me from the start
2:16:15 10:46 PM
She asked what's wrong with me

I answered her

There are many ways to express what it is, but what it really is cannot be expressed.

D. Clare
Existential:a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will...
 Feb 2015 Tana Young
Zoe
Together?
 Feb 2015 Tana Young
Zoe
Together,
a word I dislike,
for he has left
and gone.
You made
a promise to me,
yet I'm all alone.
Oh God,
please help
me.*

...
Just thoughts.
A prayer.
 Feb 2015 Tana Young
mrmonst3r
It's easy to expound
Who we are
Through definition and vice.
But there is more within
Hidden variables
Precise Sins
Heartless Approximations.
We are chemical gods
Violent
Snake Guts.
Parasitic lovers.
Effigies of father and (sun).
Ready to pin
Destiny
On foolish mistakes.
"What a piece of work is a man!"
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