Everyone tells how strong
you are and how you
can make it on
your own but
no one dares to
speak of the times
you will be up all
night wondering
how someone
could be so
worthless.

Feeling empty
and worthless
and meaningless
and alone
how can I make it stop
I need to make it stop
it hurts
I feel like
i am burning
will it ever stop
please tell me
that someday it will stop
because if not
I need to make it stop

To me you are floccinaucinihilipilification,
and as ugly as the word too...

They told me
Time heals everything
But they never answered my question
How long time does it take?

Because this feels like forever
and that is a long time
When you've got nowhere to go

Also,
I think,
If I ever saw the light again
I will become blind

So what is the point?

I filter through these thoughts and inner struggle in my brain,
They say perception is reality but the truth is blurred again,
Equal parts of beauty and of torment cause a strain,
But you can't see a rainbow without a little bit of rain.

There's way too much to lose but what am I allowed to gain?
I'll take the rough with the smooth and just stay in my lane,
I know I can't come close to even trying to attain,
So why then do I feel so many things I can't explain?

My soul has found a friend, I have no reason to complain,
But what good is there inside of me for her to entertain?
Can I overcome my boundaries? This I need to ascertain,
Just wish I could be better, I'm full of self-disdain.

At the very core of me it's actually quite plain,
I've been touched by an angel and her essence I contain,
I pray to who will listen that my flaws will cause no strain,
Whatever happens I must make sure my sunshine will remain.

and you sit there
on your bed
at 1:40
in the morning
when you start wondering
how
much you're worth.
and it's sad.

because you never thought
that you needed to know
who
you're worth to
but you do.

and you cry because
you don't know.
you want to

but you don't know
how much
you mean
to yourself.
all you do know
is that it's close
to zero
and you don't want that.

but it's there.

and it's important
to take a moment
to realize that
it's true
that's how you feel

you can't deny it.
because you would be lying.
and that never did
anyone
any good.

it's there.

engraved
as a cut on your heart
and as dried blood
on your soul.

and it's sad
but it's there.

They surpassed on everything
and here he is and asking
his own capability
that is surely a liability.

Who is the jack of all trades
that did everything to aid?
He is a man who is a master of none
that thought the existence is gone.

He who climbs the summit
to reach expectation
but failed to prevail
then latter a disappointment.

Proud and loud
he waves the flag
for it is not the end
but another start.