I can make you the happiest you’ve ever been
And the happiest you’ll ever be
A lantern to light your darkest days
If you give me a chance, I will love you endlessly

I can give you the moon, the stars, and the sea
To the heavens, I’ll gift you the key
But I know, even if I gave you everything,
I can never make you love me.

Unnoticed, non- existent, who?
That is me.
Hidden behind the shadows,
that's all I'll ever be.
Me smiling and laughing is something you'll never see,
or is it something
you dread to see?

You glare at my every move
when what you should be doing is soothe
the feelings that put me on edge.
Isn't that what mothers do?
Not you!

You were never like others,
only ever comforted my brothers;
didn't ever believe in lovers,
prohibited love for others like me,
or was it just you didn't desire the best for me, we'll see.

Me smiling and laughing
is something you'll never see,
when you're wishing the worst for me.
But do you ever put a wish my way?
Do you even think of me any day?
Remember my name?
only a burden on your chest;
missed out on the chance of being protected in your nest.

Forgotten is all I am,
unnoticed, non-existent, who?

writing to many till ineffable
waiting to long and crocked
working out loud so insensible
and wishing in crowd then told,

I am lost
Without words to guide the way
I cannot see more than ten feet
Directly in front of me
I am nothing
I cannot hope to be anything more
Please don't tell me that I'm perfect
That 'you're good just the way you are!'
I'm really not okay
So don't pretend that I am
I am tired of being me
I am tired of being sane
Because I'm not
So I'm going to pretend that you don't treat me like a slave
That I am not just your personal maid
I am used to being stepped on
Used for anything at all
I just want to feel something good
Love that goes bother ways.

But I am dried up
I have no more love to give
All the people I have loved
Have drunk me up
Given me nothing at all but pity and a sad smile
As they walked away
Relishing my denial
So don't tell me that you want me
Because I know that want is not love
And even if it was
You don't deserve me
Because I am all dried up

only answers when there's pictures

only picks up when I'm undressed

only tells that he loves me when

I'm looking at my best

I've stopped answering your calls

now I'm leaving you on read

I want to real love

not lust inside your bed

I'm crying.
I'm lying in bed and I'm crying.
I'm lying in bed, curled into myself, and I'm crying.
I'm lying in bed, curled into a ball, biting my tongue, grasping my pillow and crying.

Why you ask? Because tonight it hit hard.
Because tonight I can't get over this feeling of loneliness
Because tonight I wondered how anyone could ever love me
Because tonight I wondered why I was still alone
Cause tonight I just wanted someone there, and there was no one.

Oh this bitter, painful, insecurity that comes with the lack of experience in the love department.
No first kiss, no boyfriend, no remotely normal guy has pursued me.
And by normal I mean not weird, awkward, obsessive, a creep or stoner or someone just looking for something physical.
Maybe once there was a guy, but only once. One night. One date. And then he left.