Well well well, Mr. May, we meet again. People say your favorite girl April cries, which her tears help water your beautiful flowers to bloom for the world to enjoy. For some reason it seems as though April can't produce enough tears, so yours are needed. Mr May, without your tears, the flowers won't bloom as vibrant. The grass won't gleam the beautiful green. The salt from your cold cousins will still linger around. We need you more than you'll ever know. Not just for your warm hugs but your beautiful and soothing cries. Mr. May, you're loved, you're appreciated and if no one tells you, I'm thankful that you exist. Without you, I wouldn't have my best friend, my sister who was blessed with you. So thank you for all that you do and all that you are.

Sincerely,
Your cold cousin November blessing,
ToT

When I first saw you, it just felt like usual.
Over the days—studying, growing—
I felt an imaginary warmth in your eyes.

How beautiful the time is...
Without talks, laughs, or gossips,
I had a whole confession shaped in my mind.

Over time, you're still stuck in my eyes,
With the fear: what if a day arrives
When I lose you—officially?

Was it my soul playing,
Or was it just our hearts whispering?
I'm still waiting... to open up completely.

But tangled questions still scare me...
Was it just me, living in a world of imaginary?
I've never felt this way before.
I just hope it won’t break me completely.

I don’t know if you’ll ever know this, but—
Across the universe,
You’re the star I aim to reach.
Not by forcing, hurting, or crying,
But by walking the path of loving.

And even if the universe doesn’t choose me
To be with you someday...
I will still love you—
Being an imaginary root, always

Everyone’s the hero of their story,
Everyone believes they’re in the right.
Unless they hate themselves,
So they push away everyone else.
See the sights and hear the sounds of sonder,
It’s honestly refreshing if you take a moment to ponder,
How everyone is aware like you,
Though they may not see the world like you do.
How I wonder,
All thanks to sonder.

hide
against
angry screams
nobody knew where we were
if they opened the door
us like statues
every second
shaking
blank
switched off
motionless
still warm
checked pulse
nothing
no breathing
fall back
dead weight
rising like a heat mirage
cry

will the rain ever stop?
Will the clouds ever run?
Will the water run clear this soon?
Questions
that will spiral down this whirlpool
that begins to build
as the rain pours

If we were made to write down our thoughts
and to draw out our pains
I'd have nothing to write
nothing to say
I'd stare at the paper, as you asked me why
I'd say sorry for something I couldn't explain
not to you, and not to them
these things are to be said and forgotten
a way to keep together, a way not to lose it
And if I could move again, i'd move my hand
to lift up the pencil, my body feeling like sand
Height continued to increased as they forced me to mark
down my problems, happiness, and skills
but what emerged became scribbles
to turn the paper black
the thing that I swore to you
I promise wasn't there, it was just the sense I lacked
If I were to explain how to say the words
I would choke on myself, to turn into ash
that's all that would remain

I think of falling, of the ground dropping away--- revealing
The thrashing waters from the storm ahead
I think of holding a breath that doesn't belong to me
Holding arms as tears silences screaming voices;
Until words themselves are lost in the soft skies
and trembling mountains

You cry in the corners of the world, because the spotlight will blind your eyes if you were to step out
You cry in the darkness of your mind, because outside you know nothing else but to hold a smile
You cry in front of the lord, because he is the only one you'll let see your pain
What has this world done to you? What have you done to be destroyed?
How can you still be standing by the time the sun sets, by the time of dusk?
You cry among the stars, and you’ll only cry during storms
So then your tears would be hidden among those of the god

The winter feels so cold
Doesn't it?
Ice, cold barren ground
That even you can't walk through

The summer feels so hot
Doesn't it?
Hot, Suffocating air
That even you can't breathe through

The spring feels so nice
Doesn't it?
Is that when you'll disappear
Maybe you'll find something prettier
In the flowers

The Autumn feels so quiet,
Doesn't it?
Wet, drowning everything with storms
That even you can't sit through the rain

It’s not fear I smell, it’s future
Because even from then, I never imagined continuing on since I’ve lost her
Thinking over the moments where laughter coated our eyes
And life was a game, no mask, no fear of smile lines
It’s not fear I smell, it’s hope
There to hold you when time runs out, that’s the only way to cope
Imagining a world where fire doesn’t devour the hands of a hero
And ice taking the heart starting from point zero
A world where ties do not become knotted and tangled to let just one free
Where we hold hands with pain, interlocking with needs
A world where I never lost you
The story just keeps going and I don’t know how to stop the pages from turning
To bring you back to the place, but I know you’d be hurting
My own desires to be silenced shall keep you safe in a place where
I'm not there
Debating on the choice whether to stay or leave here
What would you want if you saw my face in your reflection
What if you saw the world fall before you even when you know there is no commotion
In the water below you, it’s brimming with shadows
That you think are monsters but it’s just an overdose
It’s not fear I smell, it’s the future
But that is the space where I am scared
A world where I could heal and a world where I could nurture
My love is a universe I cannot imagine
It’s not fear I smell, it’s you
Up above where I could hold you once again in my arms
Where I hope it is safe, but I know that my hands are only capable of harm
But still I reach for you