Is that art?
Is it meant to tear me apart?
An art
Art that embodies the heart

For I need a refresh
A way to sample all this mess
Hopefully a way to de-stress
Maybe one day I'll get

Get it all
Get it soon
One day I'll come out of the cocoon
Although it feels like a typhoon
Hitting me
Shifting me

Tearing me into pieces
Pain that I hope ceases
A way to refresh
An out
Completely new flesh

Times that we meet,
We speak
The way I prepare for you,
to turn the other cheek

Times we are apart
Conversations fill like a scar
A part of me broken
Part of me changed
A part of me complained

Evil or no evil
Thoughts fight you like a demon
A demon to me is a father to you
A mother to her
And parents

To me you are demons
Demons that claim me
Demons,
that make me feel crazy
Sometimes hazy
Lazy

A fight that isn't mine
A fight not yours
A moment wasted
No longer who I was,
before you came in

Moments that have changed me
Played me
Over and over
Trying to sedate me

I know who I am
That isn't a maybe
People find it hard
They want to tear me apart
To take my heart
To ruin,
my art

You've changed
A voice to me that always complained
People who put me on display
To portray
Want me to obey
A role-model ready to play
Maybe I should just,
let them take me,
a buffet

I’ve realized that the loneliest place is not the bed,
It’s the echos inside my head.

nostalgia feels like a rotting tooth

and it won't come out; no matter how many times i
wiggle and twist
and pull at it

or when my father tells me he's
going to tie a string around it and
slam the door

or my mother threatens to send me to the dentist
its too big of a problem for an ordinary person

im attached to the rot

she is my friend; i watched her grow
and she grew with me too
plus, ive never liked leaving things behind

and i remember-
how? can i remember her if she is nothing
how? will i be able to understand the present and survive the future
without the context of the past

the rot will spread and I will endure it

even so, it hurts

Give me a foot to go
Give me a heart to bind
Give me a reason to stay
Confusing as it sounds.

6-25-25   1:56pm

I'll see your favorite number
and the moon will look back at me
the barista saying your name
or our song coming on the radio

maybe it's the univer playing tricks on me
who knows
either or
you're still all I think about

I'm picking up

       What you're putting down

                   You didn't have to throw

                                     it

                                     at

                                     me.

i think about her
way more than she knows --
shes like a song
stuck in my teeth,
or a dream
that won't leave my head.
it won't wash off.

she laughs
and i hear it for days.
she touches my shoulder
and my whole body,
instantly tries to memorize
the feeling.

this isn't love,
not yet atleast --
it's limerence.
the unbearable
maybe.
the ache that is shaped
like hope
with nowhere to land.