Drawn deep on the seething alcohol sting
Of a summer-sweat mask made with every effort
Drinking down to the bottle's bottom.

On the way, we'll see a dozen devils in familiar faces,
Friendly smiles and devilish grins, temptations,
Invitations beckoning attention and so much more...

The heat washes down to lingering hands, to lips, to eyes,
Dragging them away from propriety, tangling their leashes,
Stripping away restraint, shattering will.

Love not the taint of ladies of the night.
Their barren hearts intoxicate the
purest of faces, drowning courage
behind the lusts of false need.

Love not the corruption of the wages.
In life, desired.  In truth... a downfall
of the senses,  burdened by a murky
wave of greed and always more.

Love not the insistence of the glory.
A hollow shape. Not hallowed as some
believe,  but bereft.  Lacking a centre
of moral. A judgemental state of fear.

Remain empty. Remain a jug to be filled.
A *** to be planted. A trough to be doused
with nourishing, life giving water.
A dark room waiting for a single torch.

Remain chained. Remain imprisoned.
Become yourself in ******* then live
free of the lack of uncontrolled self tyranny.
Become yourself. No chains. A truth of life.

Part I
One look at you -
my mind is racing.
Heart pumping and I can feel the poison,

pulsing in my veins.
The bittersweet liquid -
turning my bloodstream black

and the taste of ****** takes over.
A cloudy haze covers my gaze,
the only image being let in -

your black seal eyes.
The color of your long, perfect hair,
as dark as the end of my

burning blunt.
One last puff and your face
is burned into my brain.

The human-like smoothness that
my hands crave to touch.
But, I must have been drunk

enough not to notice the scales,
littering your back.
You did always say

you liked me better with a bottle
to mouth.
That way,

I would never notice
the wet feel to your seal skin
and the webs between your fingers
while the liquor burned inside my throat.
Screaming for a way out,
but your ears never seemed to hear

my call for help.
Fingers that I have interlaced
on numerous occasion. Just like the

**** entering my system
for the fifth time today.
One more trail of smoke,

and all the pain would go away.
I tried to fight you, for so long.
I wanted to be

better. You told me to trust you,
believe everything you say -
but you let me drown.

Is this the life you really want?
Meaningless meeting, awkward proceedings;
You cower behind your digital courage
In attempt to quench your thirst.

Is this the life you really want?
Bingeing a liquid just to prohibit:
Life, loneliness, and everything
From breaking down your door.

-

Where were you when he hit me?
Where were you when he touched me?
All these wounds they tear me down
And you insist to trust thee?

Overdoses, drugs, and ***
I'm comatose in my own skin
If you really are the vine,
Where has your lifeline been each time?

I'm reaching out into the darkness
Cause grasping sin is more than nothing
If you demand my love and trust,
Why are you so hesitant to show me something?

I've got flesh fueled desires
That don't fume under fire
They stay buried underneath my skin
Like dormant geysers;
Of sin and rejection
I'm busy with my complexion
While I'm rotting to the core with ignorant self-deception.

Pride says, "look at who you'll become!"
Greed says, "look at all that you'll get"
Lust says, "look at who you can use"

The temptations of this unholy trinity
seep in to ****** such a soul as this
stubbornly wanting to give in
when

Humility exhorts, "this is not about you"
Moderation teaches, "you do not need all this"
and Love preaches

"Give yourself away
Deny yourself
Crucify this flesh
Pick up your cross"

Love says
"Look at the lives you can save with your very own"

Love says
"What can I do for you?"

To Polina, my anchor, through all my lives

Between dawn and dusk
on the precipice
in shades of scarlet
stood a magnificent house

Strangers and I were enthralled
by the neon red foyer where
Francesca and Paolo welcomed us
to the house of a thousand doors

Each door an invitation
to delicious desire
each room a seduction
of perilous passion

One door opened —
three bare women holograms
drank from a small lake and
brandished wicked, feline smiles

At my feet a church of cardinals
glowing with tears, heat and sweat
whimpered in their prayers
but the pope watched from afar.  

He speaks—
the mouth at once is an eye, an abyss
and a hurricane from Pandora's box

Then I am I no more — a cardinal in crimson —
but no shame or guilt guides me
when blood-red lips land on mine

"Do you not see
there is equal courage
equal purity
in giving
into
temptation—
the kind
that appals the devil
to revel
in the hurt, the open wounds,
and the agony
to dive deep—
into the depths
and say all the yeses
to embrace the darkest demons
of your soul?

Enter—
and you shall find
hell or heaven within yourself."

----

Naked from my mother's womb I came
not a sin to my name, so insignificant
Naked from my father's bones I came
Little Eve was born an innocent


Adam walked around like he was the first man on Earth
He called himself the image of God, tried to diminish my worth
You tried to tempt me as a snake but now I'm on alert
No matter what you say you're still made from the dirt

Welcome to the Garden of Eden!
We tried as hard as possible, its still filled with heathens
Look at Adam, look at Eve
Won’t be long now till they’re forced to leave