Fearing and seeing
Death, wars and bleeding
Hearts, lives receding
Like the tide
It's turning

Inside, it hurts
Painkillers don't work
Demons, in night, lurk
This fire is burning!

I will not die,
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Drowned out in music
F_ck it, let's do this
Flips up a hood
Burn the world, it's what's good!

Mesmerised, little flame
Life is one big game
Play it how you want
Just don't be mad when it's gone!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life
Worth singing about!

Time ticks, clocks wear
Down and they all tear
Rip the time they represent
They all sound unpleasant

Ticking and clicking
In the night they keep working
Away at my sanity
Sandpaper to insanity

I keep pushing, he pulls back
It's hard for me to relax
When I go to sleep at night
It's a hard-won fight!

I will not die
I will survive
Try my hardest
To live a life...
At all

Emotionally exhausted.
My thoughts have officially lost it.
I found my goals and mapped it.
Discovered my pain and masked it.

Lost my soul, and I'm stuck here.
Trapped without it.
I'm running all these miles on manipulation.
Not a moment of hesitation.

Riled up lionhearts.
Dashing into every darts.
It's my gun and, I keep jumping into all of this.
This is a mess, a puzzle that nobody can solve.

My heart is addicted to this pain.
There is no way to stop it.
Running all these signs.
Racing all these lights.

No doubt about it, it's definite now.
Full-forced through the windshield.
I don't like the cards I was dealt.
Waiting it out, playing every card.

Desperate for a win.
Seal up the doors, don't let the devil in.
He's coming to collect me for my sins.
I have collected one too many sins.

My shots are just hitting the rims.
And I keep shooting.
I'm still losing, and I choose to keep on.
I'm far beyond exhausted.

All of it's costing me too much.
Losing it all in the hopes of getting everything I have ever wanted.
Daunted by my demons.
And I'm haunted by feelings.

I keep trying to find my meaning, so desperate for any type of reason.
To keep on despite all these dealings.
Concealing all of this. Shielding all of this.
Just by breathing.

When the thought of a simple call
To the bank,
Or the doctor,
Leaves you in tears.

When working up the courage to call
Your best friend you just texted,
Or the pizza place down the road,
Leaves you with acrobatic elephants in your stomach.

When getting up on time
To go to class,
Or your job interview,
Leaves you nauseous.

When you sit there ten minutes later thinking
Why does this happen every time?
Or why can't I be normal?
Leaves you feeling like a failure.

Just say "hello"
Nope, that'll leave you wanting to *****.
Smile to them
Nope, that'll leave you shaking and sweating.
Give a wave
Nope, that'll leave you on the floor rocking back and forth.

At the end of the day
When all you can think about
Is how you were so terrified you couldn't move,
Or that you just want it to end and go away,
But knowing that it'll just keep happening

When all they can say to you is:
Just do it already.
Why do you have to make things so difficult?
Get over it!
Can't you ever act normal?
As you learn to hate yourself just a bit more
Each and every day.
As you slowly fall back
Into a downward spiral of depression.

There will be days when everything goes wrong
There will be days when you cry yourself to sleep
There will be days when you just want to end it all
There will be days when you wish you didn't exist;
When you wish your father or mother or sibling didn't exist
There will be days when you question how you can keep moving on.

But on those days, I want you to remember:
You've survived this long
Why give up when you have made it this far in life?
You may not have lived each day but you have survived
Survive just another day, so that you may live many more.

In time

*we shall survive

another cup of coffee down the hatch
                  can't find a reason to stay awake;

another cup of coffee down the hatch-
                                             **forced survival.

Lost in world filled with adrenaline rush,
where every small and beautiful dream can be crushed.
Holding on to a tiny twig to get to the shore,
because even asking for something won't get you more.
Keeping alive the flame of hope burning,
even though the feeling of realism is churning.

Trying to rebuild a world after a storm,
dying to give your shapeless life a form.
Nothing is easy, but being cynical isn't a necessary option,
there's no harm in trying before absolute devastation.
We all survive this world before we go to bed,
we are doing a better job than being dead.

So yes, sometimes things may seem impossible,
but life isn't that terrible.
Nothing comes easy in life, nothing comes in hand,
it's a harsh reality you have to just understand.
So just be strong enough and pave a way,
and you'll get what you want someday.