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Makayla Mar 2019
Most times I imagine myself committing suicide
And actually dead,
I find myself running away from my home
Only time end my life somewhere alone in the woods

A few times I see myself going behind my best friend's house
Others the woods near my home;
Sometimes going somewhere where I know nobody would think of looking
But rarely in my home in the bathroom

I know exactly how things would go if I did it at my trailer home;
In the early morning hours, I'd cut and overdose on my pills I've saved up,
My mother would try to come in the bathroom at 6:45am when she wakes my brother up for school
The door will be locked, she'll call out my name thinking I missed the bus
Though she'll receive no response and can't get in
So my mother will wake up her boyfriend and ask him to unlock it
Only for them to find me on the ground unconscious

But if I left my home,
No one would know where to start looking
And I'd be successful -

The End
Just my honest thoughts and facts.
Feel free to share revision ideas (:
SophiaAtlas Dec 2018
Can't run from it
Always a step behind
The worst is i'm trapped
In my own mind

The end is near
I can't keep trying
Stop asking if i'm okay
I'm tired of lying

My fake smile is getting heavy
Eyes can’t hold back
My mind has won
Done living in the black

Going through the motions
It’s almost time to quit
Most fear death
But I pray for it.
I’m suicidal
m Dec 2018
“who birthed the seas?”

it was snowing,
but it fell upon us warm and scattered,
like ash,
like dust,

i turned my head,
and watched you speak.


“sometimes i wonder who cradled her when she was just a puddle,
who nourished her to grow this big.”

i felt as if seas could grow in me.

“stay”
i begged,
“this city is so empty,
even with all these waves at its back.

and,

and stay,
for me,
because these feet don't know the route back.”

you whispered back, eyes shut,

“i want to know this body's delicacy.
how light would it need to be to sink?”




“micka, please.”




“micka?”


“and when do we ever find the time,
that is what i truly wonder,
time to search the sea,
time to fill our empty stomachs with its insides?

everything is just so rapid,
i feel like i can't breathe.”

i krept closer, the tide rising and falling like a set of lungs.

“stay,”
i said again,
watching while your hands grazed gentle waters,
searching for depth.

you hummed,
looked over and pressed a wet palm against my face.

the sea was a silent wash of stillness beside us.
your breath was loud against my cheek,

be comfortable, darling
I’ll be here awhile.
who birthed the seas? who cradled her when she was just a puddle? who nourished her to grow this big?
Makayla Dec 2018
I like the feeling of tight sports bras
To hide what little I have
And to make me feel secure

I like the feeling of tight sleeping bags wrapped around me
To hold me
And to make me feel like someone else holds me as I rest

I like the feeling of tight cozy jackets and sweaters
To soothe my soul
And to make me feel snuggly

I like the feeling of wires, ropes, and belts wrapped tightly around my throat
To cut off my circulation
And to watch my face turn a nice dark red-purple
Honest feelings.
Feel free to share revision ideas :)
Taylor Nov 2018
"If I killed myself today, the sun would still come out, the stars would still shine, so why not?"

Why is that a comfort? A warm, firm hand on my cold heart
The soft touch of a delicate embrace

But, it's supposed to be bad right?

I shouldn't but I want to
I know I can't yet I yearn still
What is wrong with me?
I find solace in strange places
The screaming of thunder storms and harsh blows of the wind
The chaos and pushing of hundreds of bodies against my own
I've learned to like the dark, the ugly, the bad

And it feels good
Why is that so bad?

But if it is so right, why does my heart scream "guilty" ?
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