never find it funny
when my dad does it
but I pray to God that
he will never stop joking.
Cause by the time he's not here,
that jokes will mean everything.

The two hearts broke
before they could unite.

The two hands let go
before their bond could grow.

Their destinies cursed each other
before fate could knit their lives together.

Little did they know,
angles encircled them.

Hiding emotionally,
physically avoiding,
and verbally masking by lies.

We pretend that we are alright,
turning it all invisible
In the eyes of one other,  
so that we don’t let the worry flow,
so that we don’t let the disappointment brew.
But it flows into the ears of others.

Leaning on their shoulders for comfort,
where comfortability now thrives.
We now look in the eyes
of one another
with body containing secrets,
pretending to be alright
and happy.

I guess,
that’s where the trust started to wither
and comfortability started to fade,
for we found comfort on others shoulders.

I should sleep
But I want to write about you
My dreams of glass
Are dreams of you
Shattering threats
You could fall apart
Any second
I'll protect your heart
It's getting late
But I kind
Because I'm staying up
With you on my mind

I don’t want to talk
Locked
Somewhere between my eyes and my trembling hands
I couldn’t hold the pencil
To tell you.

It fell from between my fingers
And I watched the chance to yell
Hit the ground
— my voice thins with your hair

My eyes are tired
And I should sleep
But I've got too many
Promises to keep
Stay up with you
And write for the night
Out the window
Float fireflies
Like fairy lights
A heartburn need
I live to protect
An afraid little boy
Guard til death
Stay up with you
Cause you can't sleep
My eyes are tired
And I have promises to keep
You've grown so much
So many years
But you still have
Shimmery tears
I'll hold you while
You cry and sleep
Cause I have promises
I need to keep

can’t be caring for no one
these revelations
these revelations
opened my third eye
to the mess people truly are
faking their love every time
just to get into someone’s bed

these revelations
these revelations
got me calculating peoples’ intentions
in the deep corners of my mind
will you pull me on a string?
manipulate my heart?
steal my saved hundreds?

•••••

these revelations
these revelations
serve a higher purpose
i know bad energy when i feel one
i won’t let myself get near one

a curse hidden in disguise
a blessing in plain sight
these revelations
these revelations
got me running inside my mind

a father is suppose to be a child’s first
hero
protector
guider
and mentor
however for me my father was my first
tormentor
narcissist
and the monster that hid under my bed
with a bottle to keep him company