Lately, I've been feeling very afraid
of my friends and family
and those who think less of me.
I confide in some, but not all
I don't think tonight was a good call..
When I hit my head and saw clearly for once
I see the thoughts that you want to hide

Who do you doubt
when your trust has been ****** back at you
with the lies spread out on the table in front of you
whose to blame when the knot is just too much
to untangle
when the petty **** becomes ammo
Who would've thought that
standing up to my doubts
would mean standing alone
in the eyes of the bitter sweet truth
I wish I was free of what you've done to me

Paranoia is electric green.
It sounds like the small hum of a 1976 refrigerator.
It tastes like somebody left a hair in your sandwich.
It smells like aged copper, dangling around your neck.
Paranoia feels like pins and needles right after standing up.

Swear to love only me.
Don't look at anyone else.
I only look at you.
So only look at me, okay?
Say you love me.
Only me.
You can't stray.
Your heart has to belong to me, and only me.
You're absolutely mine.
No exception.

I am paranoid, bound with fear,
Distraught at the idea of losing everyone I keep near.
My love is sad.
I write about it with ****** hands.
And I am mad,
Twisted and controlled by dreams of promised lands.
All love is sad.
Left behind like footprints in the sand.
Who's to say it's not so bad?

You're allowed to get mad
You don't need permission to shout at someone when they ask you for unreasonable things
Like to keep your temper in check when they don't respect that you're old enough to not take their **** storm of ******* manipulation
You can get mad, go on
You have every rational logical explanation but it's stuck in your head
So why don't you just hit back? It isn't like they didn't hit you first
You have every reason to get mad
The guy just comes back without a word and doesn't know how you'll react so he then makes a statement of power by being an *******
His fear is your reason to get mad
Get mad at his fear with a sharp tongue and a voice of fire
He can't step on you

What if I made paranoia my best friend? Took every hint and watched the drama play out till the end, Send every being I meet into a spiral of everything they ever wanted and show that its weak to use infinity to imagine your own demise...

The skies opened and this one Sunbeam hit me just right, Ill never fight the paranoia again, it basically gives me all of Fear's moves before it makes them, and to take them in, to win the battle against fear before it even started...

Yeah, I forget the black dot in the Yin Yang, that darkness is never banging on the front door, that whisper telling me everything that darkness has in store and what it's all for...

The core of this little limerick is that though paranoia pin ****** the bubble of naivety, it can make the map of your infinity once you recognize the divinity of the dark things that exist to make you brighter...

Memorizing times and dates,
trying to get a jump on fate.
Good things come
to those who wait,
but that just isn't me.

The moon, a dagger, hangs over all.
I watch to make sure it won't fall and
walk away, my shadow tall
to see that it's still hanging.

In anxious sleep, symbols of blood
haunt my dreams, the coming flood
when I'll be left lost in the mud
and revising what I'd thought I'd known.