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AD Snail Oct 2017
A sweet symphony,
Is booming in the middle of the night,
Making itself known in my head.

Sleep is no longer important,
Listen to the different tunes dance around you.
Everything is pounding against your skull,
That you can't help but hum along to.

Vibrating notes that leaves bittersweet taste.

Leaving nothing misery in its wake,
Till you finally can drown it out,
But its to late, 3am flashes on the nightstand.

Sleep shall never come easily,
Not with my 'Symphony of Bittersweet Paranoia.'
cassie marie Oct 2017
My depression is like a far away friend who showed up
And you didn't want them to show up

My anxiety is like when you had to get on stage as a kid and perform
Except I never get over the nervousness

My ADD is like when you would stare out the window for a test
But I can not stop looking at the window

My Bipolar disorder is like a rollercoaster
Except I never get off of the ride

My paranoia is like when you used to think someone didn't like you
Except I think everyone I know and love doesn't like me

My insomnia is like when you would pull all nighters
But I pull them everyday

My mental disorders are not what defines me
Its what you do in my daily life that triggers them and then they take over like when an emperor takes over his empire
Or when the president takes over his country
This is about my mental disorders in hopes you understand what I go through everyday
Jane Oct 2017
They go hand in hand, best friends,
Blood red maroon, mixed with pastel black.

Cotton candy pink and golden skin.

With each pounding beat of my heart, I feel as they'll burst out laughing.

Buried alive underneath my skin.

Hand in hand, they'll take over.

What happens then?

What happens when I loose my skin?

Paranoid and jealous.

Vengeance appeals to be just.

I am an embodiment of my fears.
Mitch Prax Oct 2017
I feel a weight of the world
Upon my shoulders
My stomach churns
And there is no escape
I tell myself there is a light
At the end of this tunnel
There has to be
The nights aren’t getting
Anything shorter
The thoughts aren’t
Going away
But there’s no turning back now
On this long road out of hell
Kathleen M Sep 2017
I've got lead bones and not enough muscle to lift them
The blanket of bipolar depression
Is heavy
I'm crushed in the grinding teeth of paranoia and anxiety
They like to hold hands and jump around together
Stomping me down
Until I am a depression in the earth
Until I fill with rainwater
I am a cup continually filled and emptied
Running between the drought and the flood
The inbetween doesn't exist here
Just valleys and hills
High cliffs and sharp drop offs
Kathleen M Sep 2017
Do I take a clonazepam
Do I take a seroquel
Do I take the new antipsychotic
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
If i smoke **** do I long term fertilize my paranoia
Is there a way to live without sedation
Tight skin
Tight skin
Tight skin
Agitation
Irritation
Sensitivity
Anxiety
Paranoia
The collective static of the tension spots

Internal screaming
Waiting for the clonazepam to kick in
V Sep 2017
I love cleaning,
I need to clean.
From my hands to the walls,
Lysol, Windex, Disinfectants, Bleach.

Don't ask me why...
Don't say "But everything is already so spotless!"
Because friend, reality is one thing,
My mind is the mess.
OCD

It hurts, I am tired, but I can't stop.
André Morrison Sep 2017
Heartbreak...Why use such a term when it's the mind that is on the verge of collapse? Mindbreak is the term I've coined

I was Drowning in the fear of abandonment,
Feelings of paranoia pinned to your conscious,
Heart shaken by the very thought of being alone once more
My love for her being pure white, but marked with stains of doubt
I was in awe of you, yet so afraid of you
Moved by how you would make me feel content with life
But terrified at how you could take all that away from me
...And then it happened...you left me
Scarlet Niamh Sep 2017
There is a wire tap inside his mind
which pulls the waves in and over
the shore, fast. It floods
the earth and leaves his skin
pale and waterlogged, blue from the cold
and bloated with decay.
When the wall of water hits and the screams
of many tired, sad people can be heard,
the sinking city of Venice will crumble
away into the sea, leaving jagged,
splintered rock jutting from the ocean
like strange stone blades. In the silence
of receding water, I hear the cries
of a newly orphaned child and see
a small silhouette standing over the body
of his father, satellites still speaking
to the microphones in his dead brain.
The tide laps at his splayed limbs
and the water pulls him back
towards the ocean while the boy screams,
wailing as he clutches the cold, limp hands
and begs his father with tears and fury
to come back to him.
~~ Tsunami, 4/4 ~~
Mister J Sep 2017
Why is everybody laughing?
Grinning ghoulish grins
Looking at me with piercing eyes
Like their cutting me in half

The voices are speaking again
Can you hear them?
Even when I cover my ears
They can still make them bleed

I have a problem with my mirror
Every time I look at myself
Even when I have the same clothes
Why is the face not mine?

How come whenever I try screaming
Screaming on the top of my lungs
Coughing out every cry for help
I'm still drowning in the eerie quietness?

I'm supposed to be depressed
Tears and blood pouring out my eyes
Why am I hearing my own laughter
And in the mirror, Why am I smiling wide?

I thought my insomnia was kicking in
I tried closing my eyes, rolling on the bed
only to find out that on the other side
I was already sleeping deeply.

Help me get out of here
This prison called my mind
It's playing games with me
Or am I playing games with it?

Nightmares are becoming dreams
Laughter raises the hairs on my nape
How will I make this right?
When I'm not in my right mind?
Ideas gushing out at 3am. I think I'm going insane. Haha
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