“Everything in moderation,”
Henri’s mom said with a grin,
serving the banal advice
with red Kool-Aid
and unfiltered cigarettes.

You ask why were not best friends....
when all you did today was comment on every mistake I made
Told me I had to fix my hair every time a strand got away
saying it wasn't good enough
In so many ways it meant I wasn't good enough
you asked why I hated you....
when I've never left loved by you
You told me I was being ridiculous
'after everything I've done for you' you started saying
I didn't hear what came after, the tears welling in my eyes and burn clogging my throat just a loud buzz in my ear drums
You told me I was in some sort of power house mood and couldn't be talked too....
but what if I've never been able to talk to you I just hid it better when I was younger?
Your always saying how the things I do aren't me....
wow, you must really not know me
the criticism is a lot weighting down on my shoulders but everything's fine I'll just roll my eyes
I sometimes wonder how you don't see me crying every night in my bed?
or if you know and just don't care?
You must notice how your words could cut through steel?
how every time you say something my eyes water?
I want to apologize but it's not my fault
everything hurts all the time
but how am I supposed to let go when I learned from a very young age that being judged by your mother is the worse pain of all....

Behind brown eyes & a beautiful face                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                                       ­              
Lay sad memories she wished to erase                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                      
She longed to not be part of the human race                                                  
                                                                ­                                                   
 Now God has set her free                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                      
Not always what we hoped she would be                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We needed more than our reality                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
We saw things she couldn't see                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
I never thought we would be friends                                                          ­
                                                                ­                                                  
But that's what happened in the end                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Sharing memories & making amends                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                               
Now God has set her free                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
I know she's in a better place                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
All her pain has been erased                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
   I 'm sure there's a big smile on her face                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                             
  Now God has set her free

I'm so sorry....
I'm sorry that I was not the daughter you wanted
the daughter you hoped to have
but if you want the honest truth I tried....
I tried really really hard everyday to be someone you deserved.
You told me you loved me and I knew you did somehow
I just wished you showed it a little better
there was so much doubting in everything I did.... or do.
but I promise you I wanted to be that girl you had pictured in your head, secretly knowing I'd never fit your mold.
but I don't know what to do anymore....
I cried myself to sleep last night just like the night before
but then you ask why my eyes are puffy
it's not very attractive you say.
well, I'm sorry my hair didn't look good today
or that I wasn't home yesterday.
my every move is not okay
but I'll love you anyway....

We share the same fate
The universe and I
When our time comes to an end
We both shall die

Ever onwards we march towards an inescapable fate

Remember when we were wild and free with
those many dreams to chase..
So unfraid and so untamed
Ready to take over what comes through life?

But then you arrived…
with your small hands curling in ours…
With soft breaths and whispers
Your tiny little hands and feets..
Soft touches and snifles…
You looked at us like we were your everything
And at that moment may be we knew..
Love was no longer just about us!

So, Since then
We learnt the quiet language of sacrifice
exchanging our untamed dreams
for dreams of your better tomorrow..
Exchanging our late night laughters
for those lullabies of yours…
trading our outside lives once for all
for the inside rhythms of home…

We softened…
We stayed quiet even when our temperatures flared..
We learnt to let go of things..
Of things that once bothered us so much…
We let go of battles that once defined us
No,  not because we stopped feeling
but because
you were always watching!

Between our silences,
We built something enduring
It is may be not that of a perfect world..
But in this world,
We learnt to let go few pieces of ourselves
So that you’d never have to carry that weight;
Weight of our unmet desires…
And
We learnt not to lose ourselves
but to make room for you!

And may be one day when you are grown,
You’ll just get it..
That sometimes love is not just about winning..
Love is always not reckless, not wild..
But rather very difficult…
Thats why even when we are struggling
We choose to stay again and again!
Because when we look at you…
We see the reason
We make room for love in a different way!

He carries wisdom in his soul,
A heart woven with kindness, honesty, and care.
His presence is a refuge-
A place where I am safe, where I can exhale.

He is gentle, yet strong.
Patient, yet unwavering.
Grounding, yet boundless in his dreams.
With him, I am steady. With him, I am free.

Through him, I see the reflection of love itself.
Brilliant in mind, bold in spirit,
Sincere in his words, fearless in his heart.
His existence is a gift, and I cherish every moment.

But above all, I love who I am beside him.
He lifts me, yet never asks me to be anything but myself.
With him, I am strong.
With him, I am peaceful.
With him, I am selfless.
With him, I am endlessly inspired.

Thank you for giving him life,
For shaping the soul that I now hold dear.
I vow to guard his heart as long as I walk beside him.
To understand him deeply-
His needs, his desires, his hopes, his dreams.

For as long as fate allows,
I will love him wholly,
Not just for who he is-
But for the world he creates within me.

I liked me better when
you hated yourself.
Now that you have found
beauty, I have lost my own.