Take me back to the night we met
When the day was hot
And the air was humid
The sky was crisp
And the clouds were nonexistent
Our skin spotted with sweat

My life was sprawled out in front of us both
My emotions were high
But you didn't care
You listened to it all
Stories
Memories
About my family
About my friends
About my random little trinkets
Things that meant nothing to you
And everything to me
You listened to it all

Take me back to that night
When we cleaned sticky **** off the wall
With Magic Erasers and Goo Gone
When we did nine loads of laundry
And you saw all the underwear I own
But you still didn't care

The air was silent
But we filled it with our voices
With laughter
With nervous excitement
Coming from the first date
Take me back to that night
When I first fell in love

You keep my mind off the things I want to forget
The ******* in my life that tells me I'm not worth it
The reasons why I should **** myself
You remind me that I'm special
That you love me
And when you tell me that
I don't need to cut myself
I don't need to try to drive off the bridge
I forget those feelings altogether
I forget the terror that comes with the rain
I forget the anxiety that comes with sitting next to strange men
I forget the tears that come with feeling unlovable
I forget the hangover that comes from yesterday's gripes
I ******* forget it
Because you look in my eyes
And tell me that I'm special
That you love me
And for the first time in my life
I believe it
I don't have to lie to myself
While waiting for the next best thing
Because you're it

The human heart is worth about a million dollars
But you get mine for free
Not everyone can afford it
I'm not a good match for just anyone
But you get my heart for free
My whole heart
What a concept
Do you realize it?
How lucky you are
To get a million dollar heart
For free?
A heart that will always unconditionally love you
A heart that will always kiss your forehead to see if you have a fever
A heart that will always remember your tea order
A heart that will always do your laundry
A heart that will always wipe your beard clean
A heart that will always rub your back as you're falling asleep
A heart that will always laugh at your silly jokes
A heart that will always love you unconditionally
And you get it for free
You get it
Just because you show up to the party
You get it
Just because of who you are
A million dollar heart
For free

Heya, sending me random messages again
Ain't you cute when you smile?
It's been almost three years
Do you recall?
I met you from the other side of the world
Calling me thru Skype to hangout
You with your friends on the phone
Playing these games
You're accent awakens my sexuality
March, after the man I've gave my heart to torn it in two
You stayed by my side
Laughter from each side roars
We get naked and listened to one's desire
Confused, I asked us to stop
It's too much for me to handle
I've never been alone for you've been here with me
Months passed and you met a girl
Loved and took care of her
You've come seeking for me when she left
Constant messages with each other, keeps the fire burning
You make me smile, your words comforts me
Your videos makes me laugh
Can you hear me? My heart is so loud, screaming.
I want your *** and your love.

Don't send me this video of you being drunk.
Don't ask me why you have that *****
Don't ask me why we are just friends


Don't randomly ask me to make love with you
My feet were weak.

Do you want me or my love?
It's hard to tell.

"I love waking up next to you,"
he says.
My eyes heavy
And heart full
I feel my toes wiggle
While he embraces me
And kisses my smiling cheeks
Our bare bodies under the covers
Dark and light
Wrapped up in each other
My flabby stomach
His toned thighs
My squishy sides
His chiseled chest
Euphoria washes over me
As he tells me again
That he loves waking up next to me
That he loves my little hands
That he loves my adorable cheeks
That he loves my cute smile
That he loves me

I was always cautious about using the L word
The word used after like
The big L
Because you can't take that **** back
Once you say it,
You can't unsay it
You can't unhear it

Then I found the L word
I found him
A milk chocolate man with yummy espresso eyes
A goofy, crooked smile that never quits
Tight, soft curls pushed back in a black mane
And a voice that floats on feathers

I found the L word
In between my fingers where he holds my hand
On the nape of my neck where he kisses me at night
Across my cheeks where he brushes his hand
In my mouth where he feeds me the food he's prepared

I found the L word while I was folding my laundry
While I was making us coffee
While we were talking about everything
While we were doing a puzzle and getting nowhere
While I was scrubbing his back in the shower
While we fell asleep in the summer heat under the heavy blankets

I found the L word at a time when I didn't think I would
In a person who wasn't supposed to love me
But did anyway
Despite it all

we were like strangers who knew each other very well, meeting for the first time in a fleeting moment. our bodies foreign to each other’s touch, all passing glances and timid hands, but it could never last too long. someone always had to go, someone always had to return home, and there was never enough time. we’d become strangers again, dreaming of good morning i love yous spoken in tongue, written between skin, read between limbs. and slowly memory would fade, skin on skin fall faint, until all remnants of our existence withered away.


― until we meet again

I like to wake up at 7 am
Because that's when he wakes up.
I rub my eyes
And groan about being awake before the sun.
He rolls over
And stretches his body out on his bed.
I want to kiss his forehead.
Tell him it's time to get up.
Time to get ready for the day.
I want to scratch his back.
Tell him I love him.
Tell him I can't wait for him to get home tonight,
Even though he hasn't even left yet.
His bed is miles away from my own
But when I wake up at 7 am,
It feels like we wake up in the same one.

The chest falls up and
The chest falls down
The nose breathes in and
The nose breathes out
The eyelids flicker slightly and
The lips quiver none
The muscles twinge and
The veins pulse

His body is so serene
I imagine it every night
When I fall asleep
In my little twin bed
I scoot over
And make room for him
For his chest to fall up
And to fall down
For his nose to breathe in
And to breathe out
For his eyelids to flicker
And lips to not quiver
For his muscles to twinge
And veins to pulse
I want him to have room
Laying beside me
In my little twin bed

He calls me on the phone
And I hear it all
I see it all
I feel my hand draped
Over his curly little chest hairs
My pale dainty hand
Falling up with his chest
Falling down with his chest
I feel so close
Even from 250 miles away
No words need be spoken
Just breathing and snores
As we lay next to each other
Through the night
In my little twin bed

The moon is akin to you -- and I
I follow your brilliance through the night sky
You draw up my waist with your high tide
And the love we share has only one side

For you're a million miles away.